A woman at the church

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You have a point there; I would say in my experience young men are more down to earth when it comes to leagues.

Also remember I said that old men and women see all young people as good-looking; hence why there’s no looks-based leagues from their point of view.So hormone is not the only factor.

In my experience, their matchmaking is often very....mismatched.

I don't think that's true Boo...what I find attractive hasn't changed from when I was younger.

However older people are mostly not "players" in the game anymore so we don't have a stake.

It wasn't a "point" it was more of a question. Do you have a theory on "why" young people understand leagues better "despite" what I just said?



How do you explain this phenomenon in case of old people evaluating the same gender? In this case, hormones no longer play a role. So what is the reason why younger people differentiate the looks of the same gender better than old people?

But is there a "stake" when it comes to matchmaking? Are you saying that if someone is a bad matchmaker then their own chances of getting a date would be hurt by bad rumors?

Honestly unless the older person knows both parties reasonably well then how are they going to be qualified to a matchmaker?

What an older person can do is "encourage" when they think there is an opportunity. The old lady at your church was probably trying to encourage you and mean't well. But she didn't know everything about the situation nor did she know you or the girl.

What she did was closer to matchmaking than encouraging. Because if she were to simply encourage me to arrange something with the young girl, I wouldn't have listened to her (and its not because of her age, its me not wanting to make the first move). What happened instead was that she started to arrange things for both of us. As far as that running event, thats where the young lady used to go to regularly and I had no idea it existed until one of them told me about it. The idea belonged to the old lady, I am sure, but the young lady contributed in a sense that she told me what time and where to go.

You are not really old.

Now I dunno how old that old lady is.

So after 10 years only, I will no longer be a "player", damn.

You are straight, right? Yet you can tell whether a guy is a handsome or ugly, right? It is innate even if it's the same gender.

A very very old man (ie. 90+) may see them both as good looking and young.

I am talking about of personal experience tho, so nothing is proven science.

That was hard to read. Harder to finish.

Hmmm maybe the young female was interested? well who knows...

No Boo, your the smart one, most men would choose to be Hugh Hefner if given half the chance

I didn't mean this sort of player, I was more thinking of player = being active in the dating game.

I couldn't agree more. The difference between old and young, the difference you describe as hormones is commonly called LUST.

First off there are two forms of beauty. Inner beauty and outer beauty. When you are younger, you tend to focus on outer beauty - how attractive a girl looks. [For example, “I like big eyes, long hair, muscles, and a nice butt....”] But that is only the shell of a person. The physical can, and does, fade over time, and that is often out of our control due to aging

Inner beauty is part of a persons character. It covers loyalty, generosity, courage in the face of adversity, kindness and a gentle soul, and sense of humor. These are binding traits.

As a person matures they are better able to see both side of a person both their inner and outer beauty. They can make judgement calls, perhaps more honest assessments because LUST is not clouding up their glasses.

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I wanted to marry a very beautiful girl. Normally during my school years, I would daydream about dating the most beautiful girl in the class. But this was just a daydream. It was not possible because I was extremely shy and introverted [a different normal]. I was so shy I couldn’t even dare ask the girl out on a date. By marrying a beautiful girl, I felt it would validate my being normal. But there was something about this desire that I didn’t really understand. In general, a beautiful girl was also a popular girl. A beautiful woman is probably an extrovert and well versed in the social graces. Her strengths balanced my weakness and her weaknesses balanced my strengths and together we made a type of couple that could weather any storm. It was a type of Ying and Yang. Two souls bonded together to make a stronger whole!



So perhaps that is what you are seeking, a roadmap to becoming more normal.

Each individual has different strengths and weaknesses. In joining together in marriage, the couple is better capable of dealing with whatever challenges the world throws their way. Combining an Introvert and Extrovert personality is a good fit together. It is trying to capture a trait you do not possess, a trait that will help to make you appear normal.

If she was, that leads to the question at what stage did she lose her interest? Your initial answer was that she lost it when I asked about her staring at me. But the above plan-making happened after I asked that question not before. So is there something I did "after" that that turned her off?

There is too many to count. Sometimes it's best to not know or stop asking. Just take señor blobfish's advice and stick with it.

I think without knowing the exact scenario it's difficult to say. Its also possible after giving you her phone number that she might have reflected on your initial conduct and changed her mind. As I said before if she wasn't cognitively prepared for what you said then it might not have hit her until later.