nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
04 Feb 2021, 1:32 pm
goldfish21 wrote:
I wondered if that might be the case.. and if so, Retro could use it to his advantage. Not to turn the tables and be a manipulative jerk back to her, but if He knows that She Wants him to stay with her Because if he leaves then it will "bring great shame upon her & her family," (as per stereotypical Asian movies) and cause her mother/father to lose respect for her to such a degree that she just "CAN'T," allow her relationship to fall apart, then Retro has leverage. Big time.
He can say "Look, you want this to work and for us to stay together? Then You Also have to work on this relationship. We're going to register for couples counselling and you're coming with me, and then we're going to follow their advice and work on things until this is an arrangement that works for both of us. If you're unwilling to do that, then I have to make a change and leave, and you will have to deal with your family." Something like that. Now the ball is in her court and she can either change her tune and play nicely (which could be a win-win) Or f**k around and find out. Either way could be better for Retro.
I was starting to think something along this line rite before I read your reply & you said it better than I would have He can say "Look, you want this to work and for us to stay together? Then You Also have to work on this relationship. We're going to register for couples counselling and you're coming with me, and then we're going to follow their advice and work on things until this is an arrangement that works for both of us. If you're unwilling to do that, then I have to make a change and leave, and you will have to deal with your family." Something like that. Now the ball is in her court and she can either change her tune and play nicely (which could be a win-win) Or f**k around and find out. Either way could be better for Retro.
goldfish21 wrote:
1) So what she has money? Sure, she could support herself.. but if she has more money than you guess what happens when you split ? Half of it is yours. She likely knows this and that's part of why she doesn't want you to leave. Suggesting she could afford to leave is just her manipulating you to do whatever she wants.
Things are more complicated when the couple has a child/kid together. The parent that gets majority custody tends to be awarded more of the assets. Sometimes parents use their kids as pawns & fight like hell for full custody so they can keep more of the assets & receive child-support or get out of paying child-support if the higher earner gets the kid. There tends to be some gender bias in child custody situations & the moms are more likely to be awarded full or majority custody than the dads. Also if Retro is diagnosed with autism or some other mental disorders that could be used as leverage for her to receive primary custody. The good news is that if she does get primary custody, since she has more money & assets Retro would be less likely to be required to pay child-support or he'll get to pay less. Some guys in this kinda situation would be happy to let the mom keep the kid & the money & stuff so the guy can just go on with his life without having to deal with that added responsibility much. I'm NOT saying that Retro should or should not do that but I will say that it can sometimes be much better for the kids if their parents are divorced & civil to each other or if the kids only really have one parent in their lives but is very loving & really tries to do rite by their kids instead of both parents living together & constantly fighting like cats & dogs everyday.
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA
04 Feb 2021, 2:06 pm
Clueless2017 wrote:
As an NT married to my beloved (Aspie) husband , i am following this thread very closely...And it really saddens me that--with a very few exceptions--the great majority here are imposing ill-intentions on a struggling wife and new mother...I remind you that she is not here to clarify, to defend her stand, nor herself from being severely judged by you...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
I agree that it is great for the kids when both parents really love each other & they both try to work together to have a loving relationship & homelife. However Retro & his wife/gf(I'm not sure if they are married now) have been having some major problems getting along since before they had a child & I got the impression from various posts that Retro has made that this may be a very one-sided relationship. Both partners need to be willing to work together & find common ground & compromise in order to provide a loving relationship for themselves, each other & most importantly their kid. If one person refuses to try & meet the other halfway & instead just wants to get mad, demand, accuse, blame & also makes threats about leaving while refusing to consider getting help like couples counseling & refuses to learn about the other's issues & style of communication, that is NOT much of a foundation for a loving relationship to be built on.With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
You are awesome Clueless because you are here trying to learn about your husband's autism & are trying to find ways to work on & improve your relationship with him. He is very lucky to have you & we are lucky to have you in our community. However very unfortunately it does not sound to me like Retro's gf/wife is willing to make much of an investment for improvement.
04 Feb 2021, 2:16 pm
04 Feb 2021, 2:19 pm
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
04 Feb 2021, 2:29 pm
Clueless2017 wrote:
As an NT married to my beloved (Aspie) husband , i am following this thread very closely...And it really saddens me that--with a very few exceptions--the great majority here are imposing ill-intentions on a struggling wife and new mother...I remind you that she is not here to clarify, to defend her stand, nor herself from being severely judged by you...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
Sure, there are bound to be 2 way communication difficulties. But there may be no reconciling a relationship with someone you learn is overtly racist. That would probably be the dealbreaker thing for me and the reason I’d possibly consider the relationship with her over and Only think of the relationship with my child if I were in Retros shoes.
Overt racism isn’t caused by relationship communication problems or being a new mother. Give me a break.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
04 Feb 2021, 5:10 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
04 Feb 2021, 5:23 pm
04 Feb 2021, 5:33 pm
nick007 wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
As an NT married to my beloved (Aspie) husband , i am following this thread very closely...And it really saddens me that--with a very few exceptions--the great majority here are imposing ill-intentions on a struggling wife and new mother...I remind you that she is not here to clarify, to defend her stand, nor herself from being severely judged by you...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
I agree that it is great for the kids when both parents really love each other & they both try to work together to have a loving relationship & homelife. However Retro & his wife/gf(I'm not sure if they are married now) have been having some major problems getting along since before they had a child & I got the impression from various posts that Retro has made that this may be a very one-sided relationship. Both partners need to be willing to work together & find common ground & compromise in order to provide a loving relationship for themselves, each other & most importantly their kid. If one person refuses to try & meet the other halfway & instead just wants to get mad, demand, accuse, blame & also makes threats about leaving while refusing to consider getting help like couples counseling & refuses to learn about the other's issues & style of communication, that is NOT much of a foundation for a loving relationship to be built on.With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
You are awesome Clueless because you are here trying to learn about your husband's autism & are trying to find ways to work on & improve your relationship with him. He is very lucky to have you & we are lucky to have you in our community. However very unfortunately it does not sound to me like Retro's gf/wife is willing to make much of an investment for improvement.
... ... ...
Thank you Nick for your kind words...What i know about this particular case is so-o-o limited...Evidently, you all are better informed than me...Please forgive me...I stand corrected...Still, from the bottom of my heart, i do HOPE both parties stop fighting each other and join forces to fight for the wellbeing of their child...Otherwise, i agree that it is best to part ways...For the long-term wellbeing of the baby...As sad as that sounds...
Rexi
Veteran
Joined: 3 Sep 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,388
Location: "I know there's nothing we can do. But my heart can't accept it." "If this is real, then I want to change the future."
04 Feb 2021, 9:19 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I may have skipped some pages; where is the part that shows she is racist?
Why did she marry a white if she is racist?
Why did she marry a white if she is racist?
Switch each page and search in page 'black'. That should find it
_________________
My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner.
x Any topic, PM me; mind my profile.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
04 Feb 2021, 10:12 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I may have skipped some pages; where is the part that shows she is racist?
Why did she marry a white if she is racist?
Why did she marry a white if she is racist?
Because whiteness is prized in China to a certain extent.. there are job roles there called "face," where your job is to be a clean cut white guy "face," of the company, their white guy they send to business meetings and sales deals where you don't necessarily negotiate or sell anything, just show up and be a white guy in a suit and tie to give the company a white face for good impressions. Bonus if you have a business education and can actually sell, but not required, especially if you are tall, clean cut, good looking, fit etc - just show up and be their white guy and they pay a couple grand a month.
But apparently blackness can be discriminated against quite harshly in China. Retro's is not the only account I've read about anti-black racism in China. Anyways, here's the post:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
nothing wrong with saying "I misunderstood you, my mistake," or even "Sorry, I misunderstood," and just leave it at that.
I could say it's my mistake but she won't leave it that. "I misunderstood" was the first thing I said and in response she went on and on about how the reason I misunderstood was because I was impatient. As for her poor English skills, I think she knows that she's hard to understand but she's started to use that as an excuse. Today she said she didn't want our daughter going to school with black kids. This seriously shocked me. I know we disagree on things but this takes the cake. I asked her what's wrong with black people and she said they're closer to apes. As someone who's studied biology at a postgrad level she should know that's not how evolution works.
Later she started using her English skills as an excuse, saying I misunderstood her and that I was unfair to pick on her English skills but what she said couldn't be more clear. She said that what she actually meant to say was that she didn't want our daughter going to school with "low class" kids. After failing to explain to her the basic concept of why racisim is bad I didn't have the energy to explain to her why it's wrong to say black people are low class or why discrimating on the basis of class is also a bad thing.
But I think she knows she said something wrong. She wouldn't be attempting to make lame excuses if she didn't think she'd said something wrong. I could accept her making a blunder of even this magnitude if she just admitted she was wrong to say black people are apelike. But she never says she's wrong.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.05 Feb 2021, 12:21 am
goldfish21 wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
As an NT married to my beloved (Aspie) husband , i am following this thread very closely...And it really saddens me that--with a very few exceptions--the great majority here are imposing ill-intentions on a struggling wife and new mother...I remind you that she is not here to clarify, to defend her stand, nor herself from being severely judged by you...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
Sure, there are bound to be 2 way communication difficulties. But there may be no reconciling a relationship with someone you learn is overtly racist. That would probably be the dealbreaker thing for me and the reason I’d possibly consider the relationship with her over and Only think of the relationship with my child if I were in Retros shoes.
Overt racism isn’t caused by relationship communication problems or being a new mother. Give me a break.
... ... ...
My beloved (Aspie) husband is BLACK of Caribbean decent...So, yes, i have zero tolerance for racism in all its forms...
However, i suspect retro misread her on this regard...School districts have zoning divisions that widen the gap between social classes...Consequently, the underprivileged end-up on one end of the map while the middle and/or upper class end-up on the other extreme (geographically)...
Retro's wife possibly wants her child to enjoy the advantages that come with choosing the right pre-school, which in turn leads to the right kinder, the right junior high, the right high school, and ultimately acceptance to the right university...I can understand how when trying to discuss the best future for their child from an academic standpoint, her words could be misconstrued...After all, historically, racism is a characteristic of America and its academic institutions are no exception...
In any case, if Retro's wife is indeed an overt or covert racist, it's too bad that he is just learning this...These conversations should have taken place when they were dating...
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
05 Feb 2021, 12:29 am
Clueless2017 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
As an NT married to my beloved (Aspie) husband , i am following this thread very closely...And it really saddens me that--with a very few exceptions--the great majority here are imposing ill-intentions on a struggling wife and new mother...I remind you that she is not here to clarify, to defend her stand, nor herself from being severely judged by you...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
Sure, there are bound to be 2 way communication difficulties. But there may be no reconciling a relationship with someone you learn is overtly racist. That would probably be the dealbreaker thing for me and the reason I’d possibly consider the relationship with her over and Only think of the relationship with my child if I were in Retros shoes.
Overt racism isn’t caused by relationship communication problems or being a new mother. Give me a break.
... ... ...
My beloved (Aspie) husband is BLACK of Caribbean decent...So, yes, i have zero tolerance for racism in all its forms...
However, i suspect retro misread her on this regard...School districts have zoning divisions that widen the gap between social classes...Consequently, the underprivileged end-up on one end of the map while the middle and/or upper class end-up on the other extreme (geographically)...
Retro's wife possibly wants her child to enjoy the advantages that come with choosing the right pre-school, which in turn leads to the right kinder, the right junior high, the right high school, and ultimately acceptance to the right university...I can understand how when trying to discuss the best future for their child from an academic standpoint, her words could be misconstrued...After all, historically, racism is a characteristic of America and its academic institutions are no exception...
In any case, if Retro's wife is indeed an overt or covert racist, it's too bad that he is just learning this...These conversations should have taken place when they were dating...
Did you read the post in question?
How tf do you misconstrue this?
RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
nothing wrong with saying "I misunderstood you, my mistake," or even "Sorry, I misunderstood," and just leave it at that.
I could say it's my mistake but she won't leave it that. "I misunderstood" was the first thing I said and in response she went on and on about how the reason I misunderstood was because I was impatient. As for her poor English skills, I think she knows that she's hard to understand but she's started to use that as an excuse. Today she said she didn't want our daughter going to school with black kids. This seriously shocked me. I know we disagree on things but this takes the cake. I asked her what's wrong with black people and she said they're closer to apes. As someone who's studied biology at a postgrad level she should know that's not how evolution works.
Later she started using her English skills as an excuse, saying I misunderstood her and that I was unfair to pick on her English skills but what she said couldn't be more clear. She said that what she actually meant to say was that she didn't want our daughter going to school with "low class" kids. After failing to explain to her the basic concept of why racisim is bad I didn't have the energy to explain to her why it's wrong to say black people are low class or why discrimating on the basis of class is also a bad thing.
But I think she knows she said something wrong. She wouldn't be attempting to make lame excuses if she didn't think she'd said something wrong. I could accept her making a blunder of even this magnitude if she just admitted she was wrong to say black people are apelike. But she never says she's wrong.
Mhmm, she just meant she didn't want her kid do go to a school in a lower socioeconomic status neighbhourhood.. yes, that must be it.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.Last edited by goldfish21 on 05 Feb 2021, 12:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
05 Feb 2021, 12:44 am
Redd_Kross wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
Both partners have feelings, don't they? Threatening to leave whenever she doesn't get her way is doing that relationship way more damage than anything I could say here. I agree with trying to reconcile but that's not a good place to be starting from, is it?
... ... ...
It is not my intent to play the devil's advocate...But i hereby confess: Generally-speaking, NTs are emotion-driven--unlike those of you on the spectrum who are more logic-driven...Emotions are hard to control and are not predictable...In the heat of the moment, NTs, including myself, can say things we don't really mean, like threaten to leave, propose a separation or even divorce...Maybe feel provoked...Maybe as an act of desperation...Maybe we are hurting too much and seek relief...So, yes, we can unintentionally hurt our loved ones...Then, when we calm-down, we regret it and wish to take our words back...By then, the harm is already done...
In my marriage of only two years, both my husband and i are humble enough to ask for forgiveness when we err...My beloved husband has acknowledged that he has hurt me greatly...For our second wedding anniversary, just last week, he got on his knees to ask me to forgive him for all the heart-ache he has caused me...I begged him to stand-up, and i insisted that this was not necessary...My point being, humans, NTs and ASDs alike, will undoubtedly hurt each other...Not necessarily deliberately...And when this happens, whether the relationship will get passed the offense and progress to a place of harmony and unity will ultimately depend on the capacity of those involved to FORGIVE one another...
I am a strong believer that a happy marriage is made-up of two imperfect beings that are very FORGIVING...I know my husband and i are on the right track
05 Feb 2021, 12:49 am
05 Feb 2021, 12:51 am
goldfish21 wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
As an NT married to my beloved (Aspie) husband , i am following this thread very closely...And it really saddens me that--with a very few exceptions--the great majority here are imposing ill-intentions on a struggling wife and new mother...I remind you that she is not here to clarify, to defend her stand, nor herself from being severely judged by you...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
With all due respect, to all of you well-intended members on the spectrum who opiniated above from your strictly logical perspective, i remind you that there are FEELINGS involved here...These are two people who LOVE each other, and are now responsible for the wellbeing of an innocent baby who is entirely dependant on them...So instead of promoting an adversary stand, i suggest a reconciliatory position...Not only for the benefit of the child but also for the happiness of the struggling couple...
ASD is characterised by real communication deficiencies...This leads me to suspect that both parties--not just the female--share some responsibility for this communication issues...Thank you in advance for considering a more balanced perspective...
Sure, there are bound to be 2 way communication difficulties. But there may be no reconciling a relationship with someone you learn is overtly racist. That would probably be the dealbreaker thing for me and the reason I’d possibly consider the relationship with her over and Only think of the relationship with my child if I were in Retros shoes.
Overt racism isn’t caused by relationship communication problems or being a new mother. Give me a break.
... ... ...
My beloved (Aspie) husband is BLACK of Caribbean decent...So, yes, i have zero tolerance for racism in all its forms...
However, i suspect retro misread her on this regard...School districts have zoning divisions that widen the gap between social classes...Consequently, the underprivileged end-up on one end of the map while the middle and/or upper class end-up on the other extreme (geographically)...
Retro's wife possibly wants her child to enjoy the advantages that come with choosing the right pre-school, which in turn leads to the right kinder, the right junior high, the right high school, and ultimately acceptance to the right university...I can understand how when trying to discuss the best future for their child from an academic standpoint, her words could be misconstrued...After all, historically, racism is a characteristic of America and its academic institutions are no exception...
In any case, if Retro's wife is indeed an overt or covert racist, it's too bad that he is just learning this...These conversations should have taken place when they were dating...
Did you read the post in question?
How tf do you misconstrue this?
RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
nothing wrong with saying "I misunderstood you, my mistake," or even "Sorry, I misunderstood," and just leave it at that.
I could say it's my mistake but she won't leave it that. "I misunderstood" was the first thing I said and in response she went on and on about how the reason I misunderstood was because I was impatient. As for her poor English skills, I think she knows that she's hard to understand but she's started to use that as an excuse. Today she said she didn't want our daughter going to school with black kids. This seriously shocked me. I know we disagree on things but this takes the cake. I asked her what's wrong with black people and she said they're closer to apes. As someone who's studied biology at a postgrad level she should know that's not how evolution works.
Later she started using her English skills as an excuse, saying I misunderstood her and that I was unfair to pick on her English skills but what she said couldn't be more clear. She said that what she actually meant to say was that she didn't want our daughter going to school with "low class" kids. After failing to explain to her the basic concept of why racisim is bad I didn't have the energy to explain to her why it's wrong to say black people are low class or why discrimating on the basis of class is also a bad thing.
But I think she knows she said something wrong. She wouldn't be attempting to make lame excuses if she didn't think she'd said something wrong. I could accept her making a blunder of even this magnitude if she just admitted she was wrong to say black people are apelike. But she never says she's wrong.
Mhmm, she just meant she didn't want her kid do go to a school in a lower socioeconomic status neighbhourhood.. yes, that must be it.
[/quote]... ... ...
I stand corrected...One cannot defend such racist remarks...She's plain ignorant!...I feel for the OP and that poor child
05 Feb 2021, 12:55 am
In a marriage there will be discussions (healthy) and then there will be arguments (not-so-healthy)...Hopefully, there won't be fights (un-healthy)...One must learn to choose our battles carefully...We should not waste our time and energy on nonsense!! !...That only destroys the relationship and those involved... ...It takes a lot of maturity to be humble and forgiving...
