Is Women's Problem That They Don't Feel the Pain of Rejectio

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That's it! I cede to roadgames. Great advice and all true.

Ah, in that case I misunderstood his/her post.



This is a strange question, but where do you draw the line? I mean, I know the difference between a friend and an acquaintence, but I don't see how it makes a difference.



What I meant was that I don't like being put in your category of "the ones you guys are falling for". Being put into a category (in general) is a fact of life which I accept.

1. No problem .

2. I'm not a female, but I think the main difference can be outlined in the following example:
A male friend you've been buddy-buddy with for a while suddenly shifts gears and reveals that he wants to have sex with you. Would this creep you out at all? I respect gay people, but that would completely sketch me out! Perhaps he just befriended me to attempt to get into my pants? What a deceptive weirdo.

I don't know why, but the longer and longer you're in the friend category, the more desexualized you begin to become. It's a bad situation.

I am a girl. If a friend suddenly revealed he wanted to have sex with me I'd be freaked out. Although that may be his long term goal/motive it would be better for him to say to me something like, "I really enjoy spending time with you and I feel that there could be something more between us and I've been too shy to say anything, but I wanted to ask if you felt the same way." or something gentle like that. The worst thing she can say is, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way. No, the worst thing she can do is start ignoring you like a friend of mine has been doing to me since I invited him on a date. I'm still angry with him for not talking to me. I understand if he doesn't feel the same way. Chemistry just isn't right for both people sometimes, but he is just avoiding me now. But I was willing to take the risk.

An outright request for sex would shock me regardless of whether we were best friends or just acquaintences. If they simply asked me out, however, then I'd be fine witht that.

First up, I'll admit I haven't read all the posts on this thread, mostly because I couldn't bring myself to wade through another ten pages of posts claiming things that are patently untrue.

Yep, there are certainly women out there who don't give a flying crap about the feelings of men who approach them. And you know what? These are often the women who get approached all the time, and thus are statistically likely to be the ones that you choose to approach as well. There is no excuse for them - but there are as many men out there who approach, use, then chuck away women just as callously. This bias in rejection from females and exploitation from males exists today because of our evolutionary biology combined with gender roles in today's society. Whoop.

But the fact remains that these people, believe it or not, are not everyone. I am insulted that someone would paint me, and in fact each of my female friends, with the same brush as this minority of people who don't care about others. I feel it acutely when I have to reject a man who has just opened himself up to me. And believe me, I have been rejected too and know just how it feels.

I'm sorry that you've encountered so many of these women who turn you down in such a way that you feel so hurt by it. The only thing to do is to pick yourself up and keep on going. If you allow yourself to start feeling embittered by it, you are only going to be rejected more and more discourteously.

Another thing to think about is this: what if a girl was too polite to turn you down even though she wasn't interested? How would you feel about being with someone who was only with you because she didn't want to hurt your feelings? That would be pretty crap. You should be with a girl who wants you. Whenever I get rejected I try to focus on that: "If he doesn't want me, then heck - I don't want him!" Being in that situation is far, far worse than being alone: trust me!