08 Apr 2009, 6:17 am
08 Apr 2009, 10:46 am
ToadOfSteel wrote:
billsmithglendale wrote:
TOS, I think that certain guys attract a disproportionate share of these women, just like certain women seem to attract or pick abusive jerks.
My thinking is that certain women (and men) get through life using guys like you (and me before I got wise to it and started being a jerk back) to do things for them. They have this honed to an art - it really is no effort for them to ask, because they know guys like you are easy prey, being emotionally starved for affection and female contact. Sharks know where to find fish, wolfs know where to find sheep, and users know where to find guys who don't have other options right now, or who are too nice to push back.
What really sucks is that women like that scare away (either passively or actively) women who really are interested in you as a person. Get them out of your life ASAP, they only sour your chances and make you bitter.
My thinking is that certain women (and men) get through life using guys like you (and me before I got wise to it and started being a jerk back) to do things for them. They have this honed to an art - it really is no effort for them to ask, because they know guys like you are easy prey, being emotionally starved for affection and female contact. Sharks know where to find fish, wolfs know where to find sheep, and users know where to find guys who don't have other options right now, or who are too nice to push back.
What really sucks is that women like that scare away (either passively or actively) women who really are interested in you as a person. Get them out of your life ASAP, they only sour your chances and make you bitter.
Oh, believe me, once I figured that out, I ended up getting a couple dozen women out of my life entirely... And believe me, the sh** really hit the fan when that happened, because I ended up hurting a lot more women (including a lot of bystanders) in one day than had ever hurt me in the rest of high school... not exactly my best moment, but I did what had to be done to protect myself...
That's also where I subconsciously burned out the ability to be attracted only to the physical out of my mind... which had the side-effect of making me slower than hell to catch on that some theoretical woman may actually like me (even slower than I was in high school), and made me a bit more distrustful of women that show "interest" straight off the bat without getting to know me first... Sometimes I wonder, even if some woman actually happened to be interested in me, would I be in any position to do anything about it?
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
08 Apr 2009, 11:50 am
Kilroy wrote:
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
Go away, troll. If you have such a problem with the people here, nobody's forcing you to stick around...
08 Apr 2009, 12:04 pm
Kilroy wrote:
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
I've been to the third world before (specifically Mexico just south of the border with Texas)... and even in a state of abject poverty, those people were some of the happiest people I have ever met... There wasn't any backstabbing taking place there like I experienced here in NJ...
08 Apr 2009, 12:46 pm
Cyberman wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
Go away, troll. If you have such a problem with the people here, nobody's forcing you to stick around...
No I believe he has an excellent point. I daresay most of us here actually have pretty good lives since we have computers and the interenet, that says something about our quality of living. Yet often, all we do is complain about how hard life is. Perhaps one should go sleep in a rat infested dirt hut and slowly starve to death and maybe then they won't be so worried about being rejected by girls
08 Apr 2009, 1:01 pm
mitharatowen wrote:
Cyberman wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
Go away, troll. If you have such a problem with the people here, nobody's forcing you to stick around...
No I believe he has an excellent point. I daresay most of us here actually have pretty good lives since we have computers and the interenet, that says something about our quality of living. Yet often, all we do is complain about how hard life is. Perhaps one should go sleep in a rat infested dirt hut and slowly starve to death and maybe then they won't be so worried about being rejected by girls
On the other hand, people in third world countries are having sex a lot more often and earlier in their lives, if what my wife tells me about her home country (a third world country) is true. So there are plusses and minuses both ways. And most people in third world countries don't have to put up with 12 hours a week of bumper-to-bumper traffic, like some of us here do. Ups and downs for any situation. More of one set of worries, less of another.
08 Apr 2009, 1:48 pm
mitharatowen wrote:
Cyberman wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
Go away, troll. If you have such a problem with the people here, nobody's forcing you to stick around...
No I believe he has an excellent point. I daresay most of us here actually have pretty good lives since we have computers and the interenet, that says something about our quality of living. Yet often, all we do is complain about how hard life is. Perhaps one should go sleep in a rat infested dirt hut and slowly starve to death and maybe then they won't be so worried about being rejected by girls
This is supposed to be a "support" forum, so just because you think our problems are "trivial" doesn't give you the right to insult us.
08 Apr 2009, 1:52 pm
08 Apr 2009, 5:19 pm
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
08 Apr 2009, 5:23 pm
Can we stick to the topic please? If anyone wants to start a topic about comparative suffering or some such, please feel free to do so. 
08 Apr 2009, 5:53 pm
TheKingsRaven wrote:
CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
It's weird to see NT girls hugging each other all the time and I'm like..."Huh? But we're not allowed to do that!". Boy to boy hugs are odd and boy to girl hugs are...suggestive. If it's a girl I either have to ask or insist if I feel it is necessary to comfort them. Boy to girl physicality is 'dangerous' in my mind. 
I never found anything wrong with boy-to-boy hugs or boy-to-girl hugs, it might be a family thing: the traditional greeting between my family is a hug and a kiss on both cheeks (or the air next to your cheek, I still haven't figured out that one). I've also found that both genders are about equally likely to not want hugs.
I think a lot of it is family or where you live. Here in the US South, its very common to hug. (Guys bear-hug) But then in some countries - guys will hold hands. A guy would get his ass kicked here, for doing that.
Anyway- how do you know they are NT girls? I am a hugger - of all ages and both genders and all orientations.
And actually - do you really think its suggestive if a girl hugs a guy???? Gross!! ! I hug all guys I haven't seen in awhile - but now that I read your post, maybe I shouldn't.
I work with engineers - so AS is probably the rule in my business and not the exception. We all hug each other - but do you really think they think I'm coming on to them? That's just really kind of upsetting.
I can usually tell when someone tenses up that they don't like hugs and I let them go. But how would I know if a guy's going to get a big old chubby - just because I'm the friendly boisterous type.
I've said it before, I'll say it again - some aspie guys THINK too much. I don't see this kind of insecurity within the female aspie ranks. What is the deal????
And I guess its because some aspie guys try so hard to intellectualize us - its inevitable they'll see us as things.
08 Apr 2009, 6:00 pm
ToadOfSteel wrote:
I've been to the third world before (specifically Mexico just south of the border with Texas)... and even in a state of abject poverty, those people were some of the happiest people I have ever met
Oh, well perhaps we'll all become a lot happier where I live
- given that we're rapidly being turned into a third-world country.
08 Apr 2009, 6:04 pm
08 Apr 2009, 9:42 pm
Quote:
Oh, well perhaps we'll all become a lot happier where I live Rolling Eyes - given that we're rapidly being turned into a third-world country.
I don't think that's going to be the case... the reason the piece of the third world I witnessed was much happer even in conditions that any of us in the developed world would consider deplorable is because they didn't squabble over some of the things we do. People didn't look at relationships as a method of social advancement for themselves, but everyone was closer to everyone else as a culture... so there wasn't any need of advancing the self over others, which I consider the driving force behind the standard American materialism...
MmeLePen wrote:
I think a lot of it is family or where you live. Here in the US South, its very common to hug. (Guys bear-hug) But then in some countries - guys will hold hands. A guy would get his ass kicked here, for doing that.
Anyway- how do you know they are NT girls? I am a hugger - of all ages and both genders and all orientations.
And actually - do you really think its suggestive if a girl hugs a guy???? Gross!! ! I hug all guys I haven't seen in awhile - but now that I read your post, maybe I shouldn't.
I work with engineers - so AS is probably the rule in my business and not the exception. We all hug each other - but do you really think they think I'm coming on to them? That's just really kind of upsetting.
I can usually tell when someone tenses up that they don't like hugs and I let them go. But how would I know if a guy's going to get a big old chubby - just because I'm the friendly boisterous type.
Anyway- how do you know they are NT girls? I am a hugger - of all ages and both genders and all orientations.
And actually - do you really think its suggestive if a girl hugs a guy???? Gross!! ! I hug all guys I haven't seen in awhile - but now that I read your post, maybe I shouldn't.
I work with engineers - so AS is probably the rule in my business and not the exception. We all hug each other - but do you really think they think I'm coming on to them? That's just really kind of upsetting.
I can usually tell when someone tenses up that they don't like hugs and I let them go. But how would I know if a guy's going to get a big old chubby - just because I'm the friendly boisterous type.
I've known for a while that there are differnet types of hugs... the short ones are just meant for a friendly introduction, but a long one that lasts longer than about 10 seconds is most likely romantic in nature...
Quote:
I've said it before, I'll say it again - some aspie guys THINK too much. I don't see this kind of insecurity within the female aspie ranks. What is the deal????
And I guess its because some aspie guys try so hard to intellectualize us - its inevitable they'll see us as things.
And I guess its because some aspie guys try so hard to intellectualize us - its inevitable they'll see us as things.
I would declare the opposite... some NT's act on instinct without thinking about it... that's the kind of thing that gets people into deep s**t somewhere along the line... I used to act impulsively, and I wound up on disciplinary review multiple times in middle school and high school... Thinking before one acts is important for aspies, as a method of protection...
08 Apr 2009, 9:47 pm
Cyberman wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
Go away, troll. If you have such a problem with the people here, nobody's forcing you to stick around...
yeah if i was a troll I'd probably have less then 10 000 posts
thank you mitharatowen, yes its a support forum, but a lot of the people are just whining saying-no one has worse lives them them and no one can understand
when their lives-aren't really that bad
just because girls think they are freaks-I should have to be nice to them??
hell no
08 Apr 2009, 9:50 pm
Kilroy wrote:
Cyberman wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
you don't know what pain is-go try living in a third world country or something
Go away, troll. If you have such a problem with the people here, nobody's forcing you to stick around...
yeah if i was a troll I'd probably have less then 10 000 posts
thank you mitharatowen, yes its a support forum, but a lot of the people are just whining saying-no one has worse lives them them and no one can understand
when their lives-aren't really that bad
just because girls think they are freaks-I should have to be nice to them??
hell no
So being nice is not a requirement on this forum?
Okay then... you're a dick...
