[HAPPY THREAD] Post good things about love/dating!

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I'm also in therapy too so I am working on my issues with a professional to make sure that my bf is not my one and only support system in case if something like that happened. I know it doesn't appear that way but I have improved in that I'm not as affected by my mother's stranglehold on my life. I enrolled in therapy and THEN the bf came along shortly after so it appears to have happened all at once. I have also been off my anti depressants for about 5 months now. Having the support of a significant other and a professional is ideal for this transition. Just having support IRL is really all I needed, it just happened to take an intimate form. >.<

from my direction... erisad, i feel kind of confused. i thought you didn't agree with sex before marriage? i recall defending your right to that belief in a thread, even after you called people who engaged in it "whores" (which would actually have included me). no reason for you to have to stick to any certain morality or anything, but it leaves me wondering why the change in your morality happened so suddenly and in such a drastic way... i worry.

To be honest, I was just repressed at the time so I clung to that outdated moral to explain why I was still a virgin. After spending a great deal of time on here and with my friends, I discovered that there's nothing wrong with premarital sex. I realized that loads of affairs and divorces occur due to being unable to please your partner. Since I don't want to end up bound to a partner who can't please me and vice versa, I figured I'd better change my thinking. So I honestly had a change of heart about that before I met my bf. He just provided me with the outlet. Obviously, sex isn't the most important part of a relationship but it can serve to bring two people even closer (literally and figuratively). I'm sorry that I'm causing so much worry and confusion. >.<

oh okay! good explanation. glad you put so much thought into it!

Wait, Erisad is having sex now after all that insistence about being a virgin till marriage? With a boyfriend he met like a month ago? The same one who said he was always moving too fast and he'd better do it differently this time?

Whatever Toad's real concern is, his fear isn't unfounded.

I know, it looks bad from the outside looking in. I made an explanation about the whole virgin before marriage thing in a prior post in this thread. Besides, that was something enforced on me by my mother, not by my own free will. Now that I understand that, I just felt ready for it. This feeling intensified when I met my bf. He makes me feel safe, secure and loved. I mean, we all have ideals in our head on how we want a relationship to go. I had guidelines set up too but I discovered that basing a relationship on a timeline is a forced and unnatural way to go about it. He said he usually moves too fast and wanted to do it differently just because he didn't want me to think that he was only looking for sex. *nod nod* What he meant was, "I am okay with waiting but if you're ready, I'm okay with that too. I don't want to force you into doing anything you don't want to." I hope this helps clear some confusion.

hyperlexian - Yeah, even though I am an emotional girl, I still think before I act. Especially with something like this. The most important thing is that we're happy with what he have and we are. Thanks for understanding.

Life is too short to worry, everyone worries about relationships too much and doesn't have fun
you seem to be having fun, and I wouldn't take the advice of a bunch of single men
I don't think they have the best expertise

wait... aren't you single?

so... she shouldn't take your advice either?

well its not my advice, actually, I am merely passing it on

I think some of the guys here are a little bitter because Erisad's depressed and has low self-esteem yet got a boyfriend so easily, while guys are told to change first.

Like it or not, that's how it goes. You can despise it all you want or you can adjust accordingly.

I'm happy for her, and yes change is necessary
the only one a person can blame for their lack of success is themselves

Erisad just reminded me of this extremely-devoted pro-Hezbollah muslim girl who used to lecture me how and why she wouldn't never consider a non-muslim to an almost agnostic ,secular , anti-clerics in a less than month just to be with an Christian guy (who's in fact agnostic too).

I witnessed such sudden intellectual and cultural transformations in other girls too.

Evolving is good but it can only be genuine when it happens on gradual rate.




*Sorry for the horrible stereotyping below, but I am gonna spit it out ***

Most girls are like this.

They change their whole self-being (their culture, their values , their beliefs ....everything) in a tick just to be with the Mr.right guy.


/runs away.

I assume you're single

Cupcakes with meringue cream on top make me happy.

yeah that's what I thought

oh and btw, this is a thread about dating, not food

You have hurt my feelings, deeply. You insensitive sensei.

I date food.

I am foodopholic.