Does "dating" just mean "sex"?

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Bethie
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15 Feb 2011, 10:41 am

I love love love Anne of Green Gables.
I was so crushed when Gilbert asked her to marry him and she said no.
:cry:
But being a redhead, I can empathize with her reaction to his calling her "carrot" over and over again.
:D


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DeusMechanicus
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15 Feb 2011, 10:58 am

Although I have no personal experience of sexual relationships, I am observant; and it would appear that the higher proportion of individuals expect and require sex in a relationship and therefore ‘dating’ is synonymous with ‘sex’.



mv
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15 Feb 2011, 11:03 am

Wombat wrote:
wefunction wrote:
It was a childhood favorite of mine and I just read these again with my daughter. :wink:


Ahh... a lover of classic children's literature. :D
Go to http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/
There you will find all the classic tales from the 19th century.

For example did you know that there about 15 Oz books?

I especially recommend the works of Edith Nesbit who wrote "The Secret Garden" and "The Railway Children".

Try Kipling's "The Brushwood Boy" or read all the novels of Edgar Rice Burroughs.
Enjoy. :D


Love gutenberg.org!

"The Secret Garden" was Frances Hodgson Burnett, I think. According to Wikipedia, Nesbit wrote something called, "The Wonderful Garden."



b9
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15 Feb 2011, 11:36 am

Quote:
Does "dating" just mean "sex"?

no. there are many more meanings attributable to the word "dating".

if something is getting old, then it is "dating".

if you buy a new car, it begins to "date" immediately. after a few years, it becomes "outdated" which means it becomes superceded and is no longer viable.

people can also be said to be "dated" to varying degrees. some are impassioned by their datedness, and some are left dateless because of their advanced level of "datedness" (old age or level of jadedness)

there is "carbon dating" as well , and i do not think that anything that has to be carbon dated would qualify for a chance at sexuality.

i get lots of dates from iran. i like them more than the dates i get from california.
the dates i get from iran are more shriveled and dry and intensely datey tasty than the plumped up fat dates that are barely ripe and are full of water from california.

i think if you asked an iranian wife of a date harvester "where is your husband?", she would possibly say (if she could speak english) "he is out dating for the rest of the date harvesting season".

if you are making date scones, then if you cut up the dates into little bits, and then mulch then into the mixture, then you could be said to be "dating" the dough for the scones.

god it is hopelessly complicated really. almost anything can be understood in a thousand or more ways.



Wombat
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16 Feb 2011, 4:18 am

Ok, lets get this thread back on track.

As man I can assure you that men are horndogs and will take any opportunity they are offered.

I can also assure you that men do NOT respect sluts or easy women.

If you girls want to get married then I can tell you EXACTLY what men are looking for in a wife.

Men do not want "hot" wives.
Men do not care how educated you are or how great a job you have.
Men do not care how many expensive handbags or shoes you own.
In fact those things are a turnoff because it shows that you are "high maintenance" and self centered.

Men ready to marry want "the girl next door". A woman who will love them, be loyal to them and be a good mother to their children.

The women these days who want to be "career minded" and screw their way though their teens and twenties but meet "Prince Charming" in their thirties when their biological clock is running out......

Boy, have I got some bad news for you!



DeusMechanicus
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16 Feb 2011, 1:41 pm

b9: the current context for "dating" concerns 'relationships'.

wombat: Is the 'girl next door' character typology typically submissive? Is the 'the girl next door' characterized by a lack of individual identity - is it a homogenous concept?



Wombat
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17 Feb 2011, 12:04 am

DeusMechanicus wrote:
wombat: Is the 'girl next door' character typology typically submissive? Is the 'the girl next door' characterized by a lack of individual identity - is it a homogenous concept?


No, not at all. Once again think of "Pollyanna" or "Anne of Green Gables"

Better still think of Laura Ingalls who wrote "Little House on the Prairie"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Hou ... he_Prairie

She married a young man who became sick so she worked like a dog for years to support them both until he got better.
They had a long and difficult but rewarding life together before she became a famous author with her series of books.
What a woman!



Bethie
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17 Feb 2011, 11:21 am

DeusMechanicus wrote:
Although I have no personal experience of sexual relationships, I am observant; and it would appear that the higher proportion of individuals expect and require sex in a relationship and therefore ‘dating’ is synonymous with ‘sex’.


People also expect cuddling and shared meals together-
that doesn't mean those things are synonymous with dating.


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emlion
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17 Feb 2011, 11:55 am

Bethie wrote:
DeusMechanicus wrote:
Although I have no personal experience of sexual relationships, I am observant; and it would appear that the higher proportion of individuals expect and require sex in a relationship and therefore ‘dating’ is synonymous with ‘sex’.


People also expect cuddling and shared meals together-
that doesn't mean those things are synonymous with dating.


They're not?
What is then?



b9
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17 Feb 2011, 1:08 pm

..



Last edited by b9 on 17 Feb 2011, 9:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

SpatzieLover
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17 Feb 2011, 6:11 pm

Dating=TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

If you were "good mates" it means "good mates+dates". Have you been honest and open about what you see you life goals as?

Dating for my AS husband & I did not mean intercourse. It did mean dates, hand holding, hugs, making out-etc. At the time neither of us knew anything about AS. Luckily, though he's shy, my husband likes and seeks affection. Sometimes more affection than his NT partner prefers. :wink:

I'd say it's time to take it to the next level with your communication. If you feel completely uncomfortable with any type of intimacy you may want to not use the term "dating" to describe your relationship.



LordoftheMonkeys
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17 Feb 2011, 6:50 pm

just-lou wrote:
My boyfriend and I have been good mates for a few years before we started "dating." He told me he's interested in me as a person, and also interested in my body. But the very week we officially started "dating," he brought up the topic of when we were going to have sex. I'm asexual, and had been avoiding the problem of what I'd do when I couldn't put it off anymore.


This sort of behavior makes me feel ashamed to be male. It's sad but true: most men seem to start relationships for the sole sake of getting laid. It seems rather disrespectful to me, wanting to have sex with someone when haven't even been together long enough to be intimate. Why not just make it a "friends with benefits" relationship?


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Bethie
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19 Feb 2011, 10:13 am

emlion wrote:
Bethie wrote:
DeusMechanicus wrote:
Although I have no personal experience of sexual relationships, I am observant; and it would appear that the higher proportion of individuals expect and require sex in a relationship and therefore ‘dating’ is synonymous with ‘sex’.


People also expect cuddling and shared meals together-
that doesn't mean those things are synonymous with dating.


They're not?
What is then?


Good question.


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Bells
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21 Feb 2011, 5:19 pm

Wombat wrote:
Men do not care how educated you are or how great a job you have.
Men do not care how many expensive handbags or shoes you own.
In fact those things are a turnoff because it shows that you are "high maintenance" and self centered.

Men ready to marry want "the girl next door". A woman who will love them, be loyal to them and be a good mother to their children.

The women these days who want to be "career minded" and screw their way though their teens and twenties but meet "Prince Charming" in their thirties when their biological clock is running out......

Boy, have I got some bad news for you!


Well, I'm hesitant to even touch this because it seems so troll-ish, but I honestly have to say, at the very least, I doubt very much your statement encompasses every males preference. I have very little faith in your omniscient knowledge of men as a whole and their interests in women. Sure, this may be what 'you' want, and what you've seen in popular films, but you can no more speak for the entire male gender than I can for the entire female gender.


Anyway, as far as this thread is concerned, I'm pretty astounded at how far it's digressed over the course of seven pages. But, anyway, I do want to say to the original poster, that I'm experiencing something extremely similar to your situation...and that I don't have an actual answers for you - as I'm dealing with such a problem without much luck right now. Yet, I think that it's more a matter of finding someone who is comparable emotionally/romantically/etc. The importance of sex varies in importance from person to person as far as relationships are concerned. Finding someone who can respect your personal comfort levels with sex is a must.