Beautiful women becoming extinct

Post Reply New Topic

Sorry, but I disagree--Erisad needs to work on the negative image of herself. Guys are much less likely to be interested in someone that is grumpy or angry. Instead of doing things she doesn't like, she needs to get into activities she finds enjoyable--so guys can see the good side of her, not the bad. Instead, she goes to the gym and adds to her bad attitude.

Men already process my body as negative so it doesn't matter. They treat me the same whether I'm bouncing and happy vs. when I'm bawling my eyes out like I am now. I am involved in activities I like but those guys don't go after me either as my friends are so much more attractive than me. Why bother talking to the fat chick when there are so many busty women with small waists?

Probably because guys are afraid of rejection. It feels really crappy for a guy to be turned down by a beautiful woman that he was really interested in. Many guys are afraid to take the chance, even neurotypicals.



Probably because the people telling you believe the same negative stereotype you do. Your image of yourself is completely untrue. We keep telling you that you are beautiful because it's true. When I was with my ex, she always she wanted to lose weight and wanted to exercise, and jokingly I told her that if she loses too much weight then I'd leave her.



Call me a freak, or weird, but they turn me on. I don't know why, but they do.

Not true. It's very positive for me.



I see it the other way around.

Well, they need to man up dammit. I've always made the first move and I'm tired of it. If I never did, I probably would still be a relationship virgin. Come on guys, grow a pair and start asking girls out. Chances are, they'll actually consider your offer. Especially if they have no confidence like I do and will take anyone without a criminal record. Heck my last ex did have a criminal record, even though he was innocent but that's a different story.

Erisad...don't you notice how a certain real-live male is busily telling you you're hot?

I noticed. I was having a meltdown earlier so I saw it but it didn't process. When I refer to people, I usually mean those who I see in real life. Internet people are a different subgroup in my head. >.<

The unfortunate thing is that the good guys feel they'll get rejected and are too scared to ask. The a**holes don't care either way, and their confidence usually lands them a date. Sometimes the good guys can muster up the courage, but not often. It's unfortunate how that works, because there were many times when I wanted to ask out a girl and never did, and later find out that if I did, they'd definitely give me a chance. The key is to be proud of who you, and have a positive image of yourself. If I had a more positive image of myself before, I probably could have gotten a date. I use to think I wasn't as good as the rest of the guys, but I'm no better than any other guy out there. We all have something to bring to the table, and even if I don't have a flat stomach or a face like Brad Pitts, I feel I still have something positive to offer, and the same is true for everyone else. If woman A thinks I'm no better than a pile of dirt, that doesn't mean woman B will too. I remember I was shocked when I realized my ex liked me as much as she did, even called me "hot" on many occasions, and that was very shocking to me. I still am very shocked, and still don't think I measure up in women's eyes, but I feel if I be myself they will appreciate me for who I am.

The same is true for you, Erisad. Your definitely beautiful, your avatar proves that, and you have quite a lot to offer. Just be yourself and be proud of who you are. If you try to meet up to the expectations of the perfect women and feel you are being judged for not meeting those expectations then you will keep beating yourself over nothing. I know it's easier said than done, but try to change your frame of mind. You are not being judged because of what you see as imperfections, that people think of you in a negative way because you don't meet and exceed the expectations of being "perfect" or "attractive". You're not being judged at all. Instead of thinking in that frame of mind, think of who you are. You're an Aspie, you have gifts and talents that most other people don't have, you're a good person, and you're beautiful. Live up to your expectations, not the expectations of others. People will appreciate you for you.

Everyone judges each other. It's human nature and passing judgment onto others gives them a sense of entitlement. I don't know why. *shrug*

Either way, I appreciate your words. Thank you. It'll be really hard to change how I think. I mean, I've hated myself for the past 11 years of my life, if not longer than that. I just want to be like everyone else. Sadly, I think these became my expectations more than what anyone else realistically expects of me. I dunno, maybe I took the magazines literally as a child and it's stuck in my head. I see my exes with beautiful girls and think that maybe they would still be with me if I looked like that. I'm envious of the girls who never have to exercise but are still thin and the object of many people's affections. I just want one person's affection but apparently that's too much to ask. >.<

You have mine and others on WP.

The reason i have my opinions on fat people is that i was bullied by them in middle school. Theyd tell me how I was scrawny, had sticks for arms, and was a weak piece of ****.

I received the message that because i was skinny, i was weak. These fat kids were the most biggoted, dumb, and racist people ive ever met, redneck types basically.

Then I had fat girls trying to ask me out in high school, it insulted my self esteem that a girl who looked bad would equate me to her level if she hadda be 200 something!! !

It makes me mad when people like Erisad say they can't reach their goals, that isnt true, she can reach them.

Matter of fact, I reached my goals.

I graduated high school at 6'2" and only 160 pounds, often going down to 155 at times when i wasnt eating much. I wanted to put on 10 pounds for the longest times and lifting weights didnt work. I simply increased my calorie count and now hover between 165 and 168. My ultimate goal is 170 or 175, which i know will happen in time, and if i go over that mark ill just eat less till i get down there again.

Hell, i have to eat when im not hungry at times to keep my weight, as i dont get hungry very often. If i can keep my figure, overweight people can too by eating less and exercising more.

And yes there is a perfect ideal image for women, and if they don't come close to matching it, life is waaayyy harder for them.

My mom, a former swimsuit model, constantly gets told by her father that she doesnt look good, needs to lose weight (shes 5'9" and maybe 140 pounds, barely more than she did in high school, rather slim i think) and that her face is sh***y compared to her body. My grandpa, when asked by my mom why he says those things, says that he has earned the right because he is thin (6'3" and 178 pounds, been that since he was just out of college), he has the right to insult those who don't look good in his eyes. His wife and my grandma is 5'8" and maybe 10 lbs less than him (shes not overweight at all, just has a large bone structure and alot of muscle mass) to lose weight and she is a former model herself as well.

And I am right that being fat is caused by eating more than your body can handle. My dad ate alot as a kid, graduated high school at 6 foot and 150 pounds and went through college and most of his 20s at 155 or 160 or so. As he entered his 30s he started eating alot more and drinking and not exercising, now he is 190. If he would stop being lazy and actually exercise and decrease his calorie count, he would probobly be 160 again (although a little harder as he is 55 and has a slower metabolism now).

Why we judge fat people so harshly is that we think of the future and how that person will look years down the road. We all know that metabolisms slow as people age so if a girl is fat as a kid, she could easily be morbidly obese in the future.

And when I was at McDonalds with my grandpa the other day (same grandpa i mentioned earlier) and there was this obese and unnatractive woman next to us, he got upset at her. He said that it pissed him off that he couldnt see her belt as her stomach flab covered it, that she looked like **** and that it upset him that more and more people are looking like her. He told her to stop eating at places like McDonalds and get off her a** and take a run and then maybe she could look better. She got really mad at him but he didn't care.

I know i went off track but the main point here is that if you try, you can reach your goals!

You have so much to learn about life, trojan51.

You're an inspiration to us all, I'm sure.

well why dont people work on there goals then huh???

i didn't create the beauty standards, you can't blame me for simply restating them

and i know alot about life, ive almost been to hell and back literally, ive seen people and places that most will never ever see in their lives

but if obese people insult thin people, doesnt that kinda give me the right to do the same back to them

Lesson No. 1: When you're in a hole, stop digging.

You don't know about life. You're still associating "overweight" with defective or undesirable, which is not true. Erisad is a wonderful person, very attractive, and would be great find for any guy. I'm so sorry if you felt offended if a big girl asked you out, such a shame to hurt your ego.