A quick story

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When my grandma goes for groceries with one of her friends (she doesn't have a car) I give her money to get some stuff for me. I haven't been to grocery store in a while.

Oh and there is no gym near me as far as I know.

I've tried something similar (been on a local forum and I've physically attended almost every single social meetup that was organized there). I've attended like 10 of big meetups and dozen of smaller gatherings over 3 years.

It didn't work for me to get friends ....and it is not as easy as it sounds.

You know, almost every adult acquaintance I know has friends who he/she knew since school/college/childhood.

Sometimes by browsing my FB, i got surprised by the same groups who are still sticked together to this day since I knew them from elementary/mid school.


What I mean, that almost every adult of my age has a "locked" circle of friends, it's hard for an new outsider (outside the circle) to penetrate it and join it, you may become just a buddy with one of the circle but hardly a friend.

That's the case I've noticed at my workplace, no one is really friend with another coworker at my work. True, sometimes we make small gatherings for a lunch or drink some beer or go to some coworker's wedding, but that's it. As for daily hanging out? Everyone has his own circle for that.

I can think of only two coworkers who are really friends to each others and within the same circle but they knew each others since they were teens , I've just overheard many times their teen stories during lunch.

There's also another group of four coworkers who are real friends (to each others, not to me) and I've learned the other day that they knew each others since college, they've even served together in the same brigade of the army (the 1 year obligatory military service), they're a very 'locked' circle at work that everyone even noticed that (always together, don't share conversations outside their circle...etc).

As for all the other coworkers, we're just more or less of just buddies with each others.

As for the online forum's meetups, I've noticed that they go there in order to get dates (or to meet finally people they fancied online) more than anything else, there were circles in every meetup I went to (and each circle consisted of people who knew each others way before the forum thing) and they seemed mostly interested in conversing with people of just the opposite gender rather than developing new friendships with either genders. I was always the only one who came really 'alone' by myself and that automatically has put me at disadvantage.

And for some very weird reason, most of those people in those meetups were from RICH families (rich ex-expats particularly), seriously rich, some of their parents are business owners, senior surgeons, farm owners, horse ranch owners, one particular girl I recall well came on a private jet from Qatar a day before just to attend the meetup, I found out later she's a Yemeni princess and her father owns a huge share of some petroleum company. Sometimes I was literally the only one from a lower-middle class in the meetup. That also didn't make things easier to befriend them because i couldn't relate to the most of the activities and stuff they were talking about.

The only way that might works for me is having meetups with just friend-less people (Boo-like) and hence try to make my own circle out of them, but a such scenario is very unrealistic to happen.

I am totally convinced, that there's a certain period, a phase of 'friendship forging' in the human's lifetime, and if it happens to not be strong enough or not being maintained properly, it would become quasi-impossible to re-forging another circle of real friends after that period (because others would already have their owns), the "after that period" is usually the after college graduation phase of life, like everyone else I am already 'locked' in the same circle but my circle just consists of me.

So I missed the boat of this one in my life.

hmm... maybe I'm just a lucky SOB...

See my hobby(special interest) is video games and I participate in competitive gaming. I'm currently 27 and I started playing competitively last year. However in just that year's time I've made a lot of friends. The guys that I game with, I also hang out with at any time because we've become actual friends over time. They're a quirky bunch but so am I and we always have a good time. I found a forum for the games, went to a meetup for it. Got some names and numbers and kept in touch. Honestly it's probably the best thing that happened for having friends.

Dude I've told you before, the GED is 6th grade level. The hardest math is like, figuring out the area of a triangle and algebra that's like 2xN=6, solve for N. You can pass it. Social studies and history requires no background knowledge, just reading comprehension. You can pass, trust me.

If we're going to be comparing humans to non-human animals, then you might as well compare us to our closest relatives: chimpanzees and bonobos.

Fact #1. The biggest, strongest male is not guaranteed a mate.

Fact #2. Beta males get sex quite frequently.

Fact #3. The actual mating process for chimpanzees and bonobos is a lot more complex than the biggest, strongest male "hoarding" all of the mates (which isn't actually physically possible for chimpanzees).

Fact #4. Evidence points to monogamy among humans as being selected for, and that "beta males" getting to have sex is practically a cornerstone of human civilization.

Lastly, humans are a separate species that has followed our own evolutionary path. Arguing that we're exactly like another animal is a fallacy and bad science. I realize my list of facts may not make the guys here feel good about themselves who are trying to hide behind "evolutionary psychology," but I'm more interested in being correct than in being "nice." Facts are facts.

If you can't get laid, it's not a commentary on human evolution, it means you, as an individual, cannot get laid.

*SIGH* **SIIIGGGHHHH**

Why you're addressing all this talk to me?


You're arguing me as if I said that only big evil men mate and nice men don't mate.

I didn't say anything of this sort.

Review my posts.

Don't confuse between me and other members here.

I was just arguing about decon's point which it states that humans can never be compared to animals, I am just disagreeing with this particular point. Nothing more, nothing less.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 08 Dec 2011, 10:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

What's the difference?

People have value judgments that not all can succeed at. It's competition. If someone is naturally ugly, anti-social, etc - then no one wants to mate with them. They are not beta but omega.

It's all natural, whether it is directly analogous to other species or not. Some people are simply not attractive mates and there is little to be done about it.

the point is that results are highly individual and one "ugly" person may have a partner whereas another "ugly" person won't, or one "beautiful" person is successful where another will not be. evolutionary psychology can't accurately predict whether a person will ever marry or have children. often people on the board will try to break down mating success (or lack thererof) to a set of particular predictive factors, but it is not that simple.

Yeh, it isn't that simple. I think that's one thing that bothers people about mating, is that it is not easily predictable. There are no set rules, it's all very ambiguous.

However, an ugly person has a higher probability of failure in mating than a beautiful person. It's certainly not exact, but I believe those who tell MR20 to just "get out there and meet people" are setting him up for failure. As he has stated numerous times he is deficient in all areas of human achievement, especially the all-important male self-confidence. I think the probability of someone enjoying his personality and sexuality at this point are very low (consider how he is received on this very web forum). He can theoretically change into a "better person", but again how probable is that to happen? Someone who can't even bring themselves to change clothes or take a bath is not very likely to hit the gym every day, watch their diet, maintain excellent grooming habits, get a job, get a car, develop a circle of friends, improve his social skills, etc etc etc.... All for what? The higher probability of success, but no guarantee.

I was the one who brought up animal mating habits in this thread, but I never meant it was exactly the same for humans. There are large similarities though. Ignoring those base similarities and perpetuating the notion of everyone having a soul-mate or something is merely idealism with little to do with reality. I've personally found idealism harmful, because when the illusion is finally broken the psychological results can be very painful.

Men, whether they are intelligent or dumb, mean or nice, rich or poor all want a "pretty girlfriend". There are men who are attracted to obese old women, but the predominant favorite is young, thin women. I don't believe women are any less shallow, just less honest about their preferences. They may say they want a "nice guy", and in some respects I'm sure they do, but the simple fact is that all kinds of unsavory men are commonly rewarded with large amounts of sex. The "bad boy". As people mature and their libido calms down maybe they can find more worth in personalities, but base attraction is still titillated by base qualities.

Anyway, just my opinion. I'm a celibate virgin anyway...

^^ the problem with your whole premise about ugliness is that MR20 isn't ugly.

most animals mate eventually, and so do most humans. so it is a reasonable and valid expectation that *most* people on the board will have some success at some point. individual results vary, but the goal itself is usually possible.

most men and most women are not so shallow as you presume, thank goodness. otherwise it would only be very specific people who ever found love (i.e. hot, thin, young women and jerkish men), and that is not the case. some people are definitely too picky, and it usually bites them in the ass.

Most animals mate, yes. But this is a board for people with aspergers.

Wikipedia article on involuntary celibacy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy

Four percent of adults in the USA are virgins:
http://voices.yahoo.com/four-percent-ad ... 10642.html

Fifty pages of people with aspergers claiming virginity:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt43368.html

Last edited by DetestableInsect on 08 Dec 2011, 10:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Just so we are clear while involuntary celibacy and aspergers can coexist they arent the same thing and there are plenty of incels that dont have as so the first article doesnt apply much.

4% virginity doesn't mean they will remain virgins for life. that statistic inscludes 18-year olds who just haven't had sex yet, as well as people who don't want to have sex. and if 96% or more people DO have sex, that is a huge majority of the population. most humans mate too - not just animals.

about "involuntary celibacy", the article you cited with the statistics also notes:



aspies are definitely less likely to date/marry/mate, but most will do so eventually.

Okay, my only point was that some people live their whole lives alone, often not by choice. Considering the symptoms of aspergers it is likely many of those people visit this website and, at least so far in life, MR20 is one of them. Theoretically MR20 or anyone can get out there in the world and become a happy member of society. Theoretically anything is possible. In all probability MR20, and those of us like him, will remain alone and deficient in human value - at least without a strong impetus that causes change.

There are boards designated for incels and if you do your research around those you´ll see that incels come in all shapes(thin/fat good-looking/bad looking introverts/extroverts...) and there are several reasons why some people are incels(being unable to notice signs of affection from MOTAS...)and while some of them are an issue for aspies they can just as easily be an issue for a nt.

I do however agree that things are going to remain the same way for him unless hes willing to consider some changes(I´d start with the hygiene thing).

Well, who knows how factual these articles really are, but here's one claiming 4 % of Adult Americans Die Virgin: http://news.softpedia.com/news/4-of-the ... 8093.shtml

Talking about statistics is a little impersonal though. I am almost certain I will die a virgin. I have sexual desire, but it will never be fulfilled. I will never have a girlfriend or partner of any kind. You see? These people, albeit rare, do exist - and I am one of them. For you maybe such people are a curiosity, in such small numbers they deserve no consideration, but from my perspective my entire life is like this. Not just a cute statistic, but a day-to-day reality. So we do exist - true losers.