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The reason why LJBF hurts

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DogsWithoutHorses
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02 May 2012, 3:40 pm

rabbittss wrote:
It's always been my opinion that basically speaking, Vaginas require a hell of a lot more maintenance and upkeep than a penis does.. which if your parents allowed the doctors to make that extra 400$ when you were a baby, effectively needs no upkeep except for showering. I mean I am aware that there are Urologists, but most guys don't go to see them on a regular basis.. not until things stop working like they should.. where as, I gathered, women go to the OBGYN on at least some sort of schedule like mammograms.. I of course could be wrong, not being a woman, I'd have no reason to know for certain how you plan your doctors appointments.


And this is what I was talking about...
Some of the cancer things don't get going seriously until you're in your 40's (and you've made it clear before that we may as well be dead then)
The OBGYN visits every 1-3 years are std tests (which sexually active men should get too) and a requirement in many cases to get birth control (which is really more about the uterus & ovaries)
Luckily, since you're a cisman, you don't have to have an opinion on how much upkeep is proper for women's genitalia.

rabbittss wrote:
It's not really any different than saying "Emotional Sponge" or "Emotional Vortex" or "Emotional Vampire" all of them are objects which suck something into themselves, becoming engorged in the process. Personally I dislike passive objects in this case, since it isn't the person who is having the problems dumped on them which is actually doing the damage.. it's the other party who is sucking good emotions from the passive party into themselves to make themselves feel better. Hence why I prefer Emotional or "Psychic" Vampire..


It's different because it's gendered. I'm glad you prefer other terms.

Roman wrote:
spongy wrote:
A quick google search for "a guy friend zoned me" gives back over 35.000.000 results which goes to show how "rare" this situation is.


That only emphasizes my concern further. So these other guys get female attention that they don't even want, while I am sitting here desperately wanting "something" and not getting anything at all. This proves that I have low social status. And that low status is precisely why I can't be friends with someone LJBF-ing me since that only brings me down further.


They have a toy, they don't even play with it right and I want it, it's not fair! That toy is disrespecting me by not being mine.


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beezy
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02 May 2012, 3:44 pm

Did DogHorseRabbit really just suggest that using the phrase 'emotional tampon' is misogynistic? :compress:



Kurgan
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02 May 2012, 3:46 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
It's always been my opinion that basically speaking, Vaginas require a hell of a lot more maintenance and upkeep than a penis does.. which if your parents allowed the doctors to make that extra 400$ when you were a baby, effectively needs no upkeep except for showering. I mean I am aware that there are Urologists, but most guys don't go to see them on a regular basis.. not until things stop working like they should.. where as, I gathered, women go to the OBGYN on at least some sort of schedule like mammograms.. I of course could be wrong, not being a woman, I'd have no reason to know for certain how you plan your doctors appointments.


And this is what I was talking about...
Some of the cancer things don't get going seriously until you're in your 40's (and you've made it clear before that we may as well be dead then)
The OBGYN visits every 1-3 years are std tests (which sexually active men should get too) and a requirement in many cases to get birth control (which is really more about the uterus & ovaries)
Luckily, since you're a cisman, you don't have to have an opinion on how much upkeep is proper for women's genitalia.

rabbittss wrote:
It's not really any different than saying "Emotional Sponge" or "Emotional Vortex" or "Emotional Vampire" all of them are objects which suck something into themselves, becoming engorged in the process. Personally I dislike passive objects in this case, since it isn't the person who is having the problems dumped on them which is actually doing the damage.. it's the other party who is sucking good emotions from the passive party into themselves to make themselves feel better. Hence why I prefer Emotional or "Psychic" Vampire..


It's different because it's gendered. I'm glad you prefer other terms.

Roman wrote:
spongy wrote:
A quick google search for "a guy friend zoned me" gives back over 35.000.000 results which goes to show how "rare" this situation is.


That only emphasizes my concern further. So these other guys get female attention that they don't even want, while I am sitting here desperately wanting "something" and not getting anything at all. This proves that I have low social status. And that low status is precisely why I can't be friends with someone LJBF-ing me since that only brings me down further.


They have a toy, they don't even play with it right and I want it, it's not fair! That toy is disrespecting me by not being mine.


Does the toy call you at 02.00 AM to b!tch about it's problems with it's owner and at the same time manipulate you into listening by saying it wishes more toy owners were like you?



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02 May 2012, 3:55 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

(and you've made it clear before that we may as well be dead then)





Not true.. I just made it clear that apart from some very rare exceptions I don't find women over a certain age to be attractive, it doesn't mean I can't value them as human beings, with their own unique insights and experiences in the world. I think there is a big difference. Though personally I think 50 is an excellent time to check out for anyone. cuts off the worst years of your life when things really start going wrong.



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02 May 2012, 3:55 pm

beezy wrote:
Did DogHorseRabbit really just suggest that using the phrase 'emotional tampon' is misogynistic? :compress:

where?


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beezy
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02 May 2012, 4:37 pm

Beginning of page 4.

Didn't mean to jump into this thread and pick on an isolated comment like that tho. Was impulsive. I've got nothing rly to contribute to the discussion, don't mind me.



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02 May 2012, 4:39 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
beezy wrote:
Did DogHorseRabbit really just suggest that using the phrase 'emotional tampon' is misogynistic? :compress:

where?

Who the heck is DogHorseRabbit? :roll:

rabbittss wrote:
Not true.. I just made it clear that apart from some very rare exceptions I don't find women over a certain age to be attractive, it doesn't mean I can't value them as human beings, with their own unique insights and experiences in the world.


fair enough

Kurgan wrote:
Does the toy call you at 02.00 AM to b!tch about it's problems with it's owner and at the same time manipulate you into listening by saying it wishes more toy owners were like you?


Do you answer the phone for no other reason than the hope that one day it might be yours.
If you aren't still trying to get with them, they have no power to manipulate you.

Just.Don't.Answer.The.Phone!!


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02 May 2012, 4:52 pm

beezy wrote:
Beginning of page 4.

Didn't mean to jump into this thread and pick on an isolated comment like that tho. Was impulsive. I've got nothing rly to contribute to the discussion, don't mind me.

you're right. are you disagreeing?


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02 May 2012, 4:58 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
beezy wrote:
Did DogHorseRabbit really just suggest that using the phrase 'emotional tampon' is misogynistic? :compress:

where?

Who the heck is DogHorseRabbit? :roll:

rabbittss wrote:
Not true.. I just made it clear that apart from some very rare exceptions I don't find women over a certain age to be attractive, it doesn't mean I can't value them as human beings, with their own unique insights and experiences in the world.


fair enough

Kurgan wrote:
Does the toy call you at 02.00 AM to b!tch about it's problems with it's owner and at the same time manipulate you into listening by saying it wishes more toy owners were like you?


Do you answer the phone for no other reason than the hope that one day it might be yours.
If you aren't still trying to get with them, they have no power to manipulate you.

Just.Don't.Answer.The.Phone!!


I don't answer the phone and if somebody tries to dump their problems onto me, I just tell them it's not my problem. Thus, I'm nobody's emotional tampon. Again: I don't pay for sex; trying to get someone into bed by being a Sisyphus is paying for sex.

With that being said, there are many insecure (but otherwise fine) men who would pick up the phone.



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02 May 2012, 5:02 pm

There's a girl I have been friends with a long time. She's not unattractive, and when she's had a bf or not, I've always had time to help her with her computer or just listen to her problems. It has nothing to do with me wanting her, or hoping to get something out of it. The only reason you think every guy would be insecure or as you describe them, is because this is how you feel you would behave in their shoes. Though I have to say your conscious decision to resist doing this is admirable.



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02 May 2012, 5:04 pm

Kurgan wrote:

I don't answer the phone and if somebody tries to dump their problems onto me, I just tell them it's not my problem. Thus, I'm nobody's emotional tampon. Again: I don't pay for sex; trying to get someone into bed by being a Sisyphus is paying for sex.

With that being said, there are many insecure (but otherwise fine) men who would pick up the phone.


and lo all along the real problem was insecurity


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02 May 2012, 5:05 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
There's a girl I have been friends with a long time. She's not unattractive, and when she's had a bf or not, I've always had time to help her with her computer or just listen to her problems. It has nothing to do with me wanting her, or hoping to get something out of it. The only reason you think every guy would be insecure or as you describe them, is because this is how you feel you would behave in their shoes. Though I have to say your conscious decision to resist doing this is admirable.


I'm not talking about genuine friends that have been there for years, but about girls I hardly know that offers their "friendship" after a failed date. Since my REAL friends are there for me, I'm more than happy to be there for them.



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02 May 2012, 5:06 pm

I don't think I could be just friends with someone after a failed date, either, unless they were already friends to begin with :P fair enough.



Last edited by JanuaryMan on 02 May 2012, 5:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kurgan
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02 May 2012, 5:06 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:

I don't answer the phone and if somebody tries to dump their problems onto me, I just tell them it's not my problem. Thus, I'm nobody's emotional tampon. Again: I don't pay for sex; trying to get someone into bed by being a Sisyphus is paying for sex.

With that being said, there are many insecure (but otherwise fine) men who would pick up the phone.


and lo all along the real problem was insecurity


And the ones who try to manipulate the insecure ones, thus fueling their insecurities.



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02 May 2012, 5:08 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
what i never quite understand about LJBF is that people in my life aren't JUST friends... i treasure my friends and i hold them in high esteem. it is a slightly different sort of relationship but i do not think of it as lesser. when people have decided that they don't really want to be friends with me it hurt me as much as romantic rejection.


The issue is that the one person actually wants a romantic relationship, which is more than just friends. It's not that somehow friends are not valuable.

What I don't understand is why when a guy who's been friends with a girl says that he wants to be more than just friends and the girl doesn't feel the same way, it somehow means that the friendship was fake and underhanded manipulation to get something else out of it, as though being both friends and having a romantic relationship is incompatible. That's what it generally means to be in the LJBF zone.



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02 May 2012, 5:13 pm

Jono wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
what i never quite understand about LJBF is that people in my life aren't JUST friends... i treasure my friends and i hold them in high esteem. it is a slightly different sort of relationship but i do not think of it as lesser. when people have decided that they don't really want to be friends with me it hurt me as much as romantic rejection.


The issue is that the one person actually wants a romantic relationship, which is more than just friends. It's not that somehow friends are not valuable.

What I don't understand is why when a guy who's been friends with a girl says that he wants to be more than just friends and the girl doesn't feel the same way, it somehow means that the friendship was fake and underhanded manipulation to get something else out of it, as though being both friends and having a romantic relationship is incompatible. That's what LJBF generally means.

if someone is worth dating, then surely they are worth friendship. if not, then it's not a good idea to pursue dating either.


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