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The Science of One-Night Stands

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DogsWithoutHorses
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19 May 2012, 7:01 pm

rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
Maybe because you're playing way out of your league? No wait i forgot, you deserve them.


Even if that were true, my league is still way above fat girls, ugly girls, and girls with hairlips. Hey, if you don't mind being seen with them, more power to you.


Ive not talked about my "league" as I have other issues in the way. But do you really care so much of what people will say about you? If so then im glad youve not found someone, sounds like youd be better off with a dog to walk around with


Why would I want a dog? Then I'm paying for them, cleaning up after them, feeding them, and not getting anything out of it. No conversation, no communication, no intimacy, still being stuck eating all my meals alone, still stuck alone on Saturday nights. Not to mention the constant shedding. No thank you, in regards the dog. Cats are worse, they aren't even happy to see you when you come home.

On the other hand, I'm not surprised you're happy about other peoples misery.


They're happy that someone isn't having misery inflicted upon them by someone who cares overmuch about what other people think of them.


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rabbittss
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19 May 2012, 7:06 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
Maybe because you're playing way out of your league? No wait i forgot, you deserve them.


Even if that were true, my league is still way above fat girls, ugly girls, and girls with hairlips. Hey, if you don't mind being seen with them, more power to you.


Ive not talked about my "league" as I have other issues in the way. But do you really care so much of what people will say about you? If so then im glad youve not found someone, sounds like youd be better off with a dog to walk around with


Why would I want a dog? Then I'm paying for them, cleaning up after them, feeding them, and not getting anything out of it. No conversation, no communication, no intimacy, still being stuck eating all my meals alone, still stuck alone on Saturday nights. Not to mention the constant shedding. No thank you, in regards the dog. Cats are worse, they aren't even happy to see you when you come home.

On the other hand, I'm not surprised you're happy about other peoples misery.


They're happy that someone isn't having misery inflicted upon them by someone who cares overmuch about what other people think of them.


What gives you the right to assume I would be "Inflicting misery" on anyone?



bruinsy33
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19 May 2012, 7:14 pm

cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.



DogsWithoutHorses
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19 May 2012, 7:19 pm

rabbittss wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
Maybe because you're playing way out of your league? No wait i forgot, you deserve them.


Even if that were true, my league is still way above fat girls, ugly girls, and girls with hairlips. Hey, if you don't mind being seen with them, more power to you.


Ive not talked about my "league" as I have other issues in the way. But do you really care so much of what people will say about you? If so then im glad youve not found someone, sounds like youd be better off with a dog to walk around with


Why would I want a dog? Then I'm paying for them, cleaning up after them, feeding them, and not getting anything out of it. No conversation, no communication, no intimacy, still being stuck eating all my meals alone, still stuck alone on Saturday nights. Not to mention the constant shedding. No thank you, in regards the dog. Cats are worse, they aren't even happy to see you when you come home.

On the other hand, I'm not surprised you're happy about other peoples misery.


They're happy that someone isn't having misery inflicted upon them by someone who cares overmuch about what other people think of them.


What gives you the right to assume I would be "Inflicting misery" on anyone?


I was just helping you interpret the other post, because I assumed (sorry about it) that your misrepresenting their statement was unintentional.


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19 May 2012, 7:23 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


It doesn't require that much social confidence. Keeping the conversation flowing on a first date actually requires more confidence.



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19 May 2012, 7:24 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


One word: Alcohol :lol:



DogsWithoutHorses
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19 May 2012, 7:28 pm

Kurgan wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


It doesn't require that much social confidence. Keeping the conversation flowing on a first date actually requires more confidence.


I would agree with this. There are higher stakes for a first date then a cold hook-up approach.
I think there is some amount of skill and confidence needed to pull off either. It can take a serious charm offensive to get a stranger into bed.


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19 May 2012, 7:47 pm

temporary lock


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19 May 2012, 8:35 pm

topic unlocked. off-topic nastiness and the subsequent replies have been removed. be careful not to negatively generalise about groups of people as it is offensive and violates the rules. thank you.


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JanuaryMan
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19 May 2012, 8:39 pm

So...maybe we should all go do some field testing as this is a science thread, and come back with our results! :nerdy:



cooldryplace
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19 May 2012, 8:51 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


It's not just confidence. Aspie traits that are visible from across the room instantly turn people off in social settings. Confidence can't overcome an aspie posture/gait, sensory overload (that makes them stim), eye contact issues etc.



Last edited by cooldryplace on 19 May 2012, 9:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ValentineWiggin
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19 May 2012, 8:53 pm

I tend to agree. A withdrawn "off" person is weird.
A highly-sociable, extroverted "off" person terrifies some.


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19 May 2012, 9:45 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
So...maybe we should all go do some field testing as this is a science thread, and come back with our results! :nerdy:


Would that be playing-the-field testing? [/duck and run]

I would've been game when I was 18-24 but I really liked being married (even if not necessarily who I was married *to*.) I'd be all for a little nookie with the right lady - if I knew there was a good, long future in it. But that's just me.

I have friends (male and female) who are simply after "playtime". ;)



JanuaryMan
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19 May 2012, 10:11 pm

BlueMax wrote:
JanuaryMan wrote:
So...maybe we should all go do some field testing as this is a science thread, and come back with our results! :nerdy:


Would that be playing-the-field testing? [/duck and run]


Sure why not lol

And it's good to know even after what happened you still have a healthy interest in commitment.



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19 May 2012, 10:19 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


One word: Alcohol :lol:


Ah hum....all the ones I have had been alcohol free :oops:


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bruinsy33
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19 May 2012, 10:28 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


It doesn't require that much social confidence. Keeping the conversation flowing on a first date actually requires more confidence.


I would agree with this. There are higher stakes for a first date then a cold hook-up approach.
I think there is some amount of skill and confidence needed to pull off either. It can take a serious charm offensive to get a stranger into bed.
You are likely right but for me personally the only place I could hope to attempt a one night stand would be at a local bar/club and usually those places are loud and disorderly.I immediately go into sensory overload and become extremely anxious,not good traits to have if you are trying to attract a potential partner.