Why do girls hate shy guys?
Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.
So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.
not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.
OliveOilMom
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Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.
So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.
not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.
As do NT guys. Try changing what you say and do, try different things, etc. Keep trying until you succeed. That's all any guy can do.
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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.
So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.
not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.
As do NT guys. Try changing what you say and do, try different things, etc. Keep trying until you succeed. That's all any guy can do.
do you really believe a disable,semi-special need,autism guy has a chance with the average nt women.
OliveOilMom
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Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.
So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.
not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.
As do NT guys. Try changing what you say and do, try different things, etc. Keep trying until you succeed. That's all any guy can do.
do you really believe a disable,semi-special need,autism guy has a chance with the average nt women.
It depends on the average NT woman. I don't know you except from here so I don't know and couldn't say. You may or may not need to try for different types, NT or otherwise, but I honestly couldn't say without knowing both parties in the situation.
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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
It depends on the average NT woman. I don't know you except from here so I don't know and couldn't say. You may or may not need to try for different types, NT or otherwise, but I honestly couldn't say without knowing both parties in the situation.
well,I have dated moderate autism women before. I don't think any normal,sane nt women would ever date a semi-special need
autism guy. I can get women,I just can't get nt women.
Kjas
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I'm starting to think you might be one of the last rational men who still posts in this forum
The rest of us who were rational did the rational thing and gave up on it a long time ago... and only pop in to make the occasional foray nowadays.
But yes, we need more people with sense here.
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Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html
OliveOilMom
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It depends on the average NT woman. I don't know you except from here so I don't know and couldn't say. You may or may not need to try for different types, NT or otherwise, but I honestly couldn't say without knowing both parties in the situation.
well,I have dated moderate autism women before. I don't think any normal,sane nt women would ever date a semi-special need
autism guy. I can get women,I just can't get nt women.
So whats wrong with an autistic girl? If an NT girls said she didn't want to date you because you were autistic, how would you feel? What would you think of her? If you don't want to date a girl because she's autistic then you are doing exactly what NT women are doing to you. There is no difference.
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
I'm starting to think you might be one of the last rational men who still posts in this forum
The rest of us who were rational did the rational thing and gave up on it a long time ago... and only pop in to make the occasional foray nowadays.
But yes, we need more people with sense here.
Actually, I've noticed more rational women still hanging around, I'm surprised by your patience and perseverance to be honest
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"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
and probaly have better social skills.
I had to work very hard to develop them. They did not come naturally. It took years and years and years. It was scary, I messed up a lot and got laughed at even more at first, I got bullied and picked on even more than that when I started trying. But I kept on. It is very hard to do, but it is possible. I was worse than you probably think when I was young. I had to make myself learn all this as a teenager, because back then we didn't know about AS. I just thought I was shy and awkward and clumsy and that there was no reason I couldn't do what everybody else did. So, I kept on and on and on until I did it. If I had known I had AS I might have just given up because I would have thought it was impossible. That's why I'm so very glad I didn't know until I was in my 40s, and by then it just didn't matter. By then it was just something that explained to me why I was the way I was. I had already dealt with it and was dealing with it on a day to day basis in ways that I learned myself. Up until then I thought everybody was like that.
So, it's just something that you have to work at over and over and over and try and fail, and fail many more times until your first tiny success, then more failure, then you start having victories. They happen more often and it's not as scary. You gain confidence that way. A lot of this is easy to say now, yes. But I do remember every last bit of how hard it was and that feeling I'd get when I had to say something to someone or was put in a situation I was uncomfortable in. It was hell. Pure torture. But you can't get out of hell by sitting in one spot. You have to walk through more hell to get to the exit. That's what I did, without even knowing I was doing it.
I can relate a lot to this and went through the whole torture myself when young. You gave some solid advice in this thread.
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"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
Which is exactly the darned problem with our ASD; the inability to to the above
Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.
So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.
thanks.
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AQ 25
Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
Shatbat
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thanks.
Are you good people? You definitely don't give off that impression
It has been asked before and I will again, why would someone want YOU, wtfid?
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill
Kjas
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The bolded is probably why PPR and this section are the most infamous parts of the site. We used to joke that one was the cesspool and the other the zoo.
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Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html
I do not have a man and I am female,so let's just throw that out the window.OOM has a partner because she just does.I think she is a loyal person,maybe to a fault,but that is her life,not mine.I have been in jail before,judge me.And if I think I am in danger,well,I might also kick some ass.
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I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi
The bolded is probably why PPR and this section are the most infamous parts of the site. We used to joke that one was the cesspool and the other the zoo.
At least the PPR is a debate forum, it's normal for things to get a bit heated. I saw a few nutters but also a lot of interesting, solid posters, in my opinion there's less anger and disinformation there, generally speaking
Absolutely. I'm a man and I have a partner, an NT one go figure! So does Fnord and another bunch of diagnosed males on WP, most just seem to avoid this forum like the plague!
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"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." Aldous Huxley
Which is exactly the darned problem with our ASD; the inability to to the above
That is the thing... they are called social SKILLS... ALL skills can be learned... I know of at least two autists who are very good at chatting up the ladies... one male, one female
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Yeah. I'm done. Don't bother messaging and expecting a response - i've left WP permanently.
In response to the op, and the poll... I disagree with the premise of this poll...there is a HUGE difference between NOT BEING NOTICED and being hated... They don't hate shy guys... but a shy guy displaying his interest in a relationship will be subtle enough that most NT women will NOT see it.
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Yeah. I'm done. Don't bother messaging and expecting a response - i've left WP permanently.
