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Why do girls hate shy guys?
They expect their men to protect them (sexism) 14%  14%  [ 15 ]
Society says shy guys are bad 18%  18%  [ 20 ]
Shy guys are worse at sex 4%  4%  [ 4 ]
Shy guys are just boring 22%  22%  [ 24 ]
Women who reject introverts are just as superficial as men who reject fatties (duh!) 13%  13%  [ 14 ]
Other 29%  29%  [ 32 ]
Total votes : 109

billiscool
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31 Jul 2013, 7:30 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:

Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.

So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.


not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.



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31 Jul 2013, 7:33 pm

billiscool wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:

Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.

So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.


not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.


As do NT guys. Try changing what you say and do, try different things, etc. Keep trying until you succeed. That's all any guy can do.


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billiscool
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31 Jul 2013, 7:38 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
billiscool wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:

Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.

So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.


not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.


As do NT guys. Try changing what you say and do, try different things, etc. Keep trying until you succeed. That's all any guy can do.


do you really believe a disable,semi-special need,autism guy has a chance with the average nt women.



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31 Jul 2013, 7:40 pm

billiscool wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
billiscool wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:

Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.

So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.


not all dateless men are shy or anti social.some men actual hit on women alot,and fail.


As do NT guys. Try changing what you say and do, try different things, etc. Keep trying until you succeed. That's all any guy can do.


do you really believe a disable,semi-special need,autism guy has a chance with the average nt women.


It depends on the average NT woman. I don't know you except from here so I don't know and couldn't say. You may or may not need to try for different types, NT or otherwise, but I honestly couldn't say without knowing both parties in the situation.


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billiscool
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31 Jul 2013, 7:47 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:


It depends on the average NT woman. I don't know you except from here so I don't know and couldn't say. You may or may not need to try for different types, NT or otherwise, but I honestly couldn't say without knowing both parties in the situation.


well,I have dated moderate autism women before. I don't think any normal,sane nt women would ever date a semi-special need
autism guy. I can get women,I just can't get nt women.



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31 Jul 2013, 7:57 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Misogynists don't deserve social lives.


I'm starting to think you might be one of the last rational men who still posts in this forum :lol:


The rest of us who were rational did the rational thing and gave up on it a long time ago... and only pop in to make the occasional foray nowadays. :lol:

But yes, we need more people with sense here.


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OliveOilMom
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31 Jul 2013, 8:02 pm

billiscool wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:


It depends on the average NT woman. I don't know you except from here so I don't know and couldn't say. You may or may not need to try for different types, NT or otherwise, but I honestly couldn't say without knowing both parties in the situation.


well,I have dated moderate autism women before. I don't think any normal,sane nt women would ever date a semi-special need
autism guy. I can get women,I just can't get nt women.


So whats wrong with an autistic girl? If an NT girls said she didn't want to date you because you were autistic, how would you feel? What would you think of her? If you don't want to date a girl because she's autistic then you are doing exactly what NT women are doing to you. There is no difference.


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BenderRodriguez
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31 Jul 2013, 8:07 pm

Kjas wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Misogynists don't deserve social lives.


I'm starting to think you might be one of the last rational men who still posts in this forum :lol:


The rest of us who were rational did the rational thing and gave up on it a long time ago... and only pop in to make the occasional foray nowadays. :lol:

But yes, we need more people with sense here.

Actually, I've noticed more rational women still hanging around, I'm surprised by your patience and perseverance to be honest :lol: Otherwise, to me it looks mostly like a madhouse :shrug:


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BenderRodriguez
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31 Jul 2013, 8:09 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
billiscool wrote:
not to be rude oliveoilmom and wtfid. but olive you are alot more social than wtfid.
and probaly have better social skills.


I had to work very hard to develop them. They did not come naturally. It took years and years and years. It was scary, I messed up a lot and got laughed at even more at first, I got bullied and picked on even more than that when I started trying. But I kept on. It is very hard to do, but it is possible. I was worse than you probably think when I was young. I had to make myself learn all this as a teenager, because back then we didn't know about AS. I just thought I was shy and awkward and clumsy and that there was no reason I couldn't do what everybody else did. So, I kept on and on and on until I did it. If I had known I had AS I might have just given up because I would have thought it was impossible. That's why I'm so very glad I didn't know until I was in my 40s, and by then it just didn't matter. By then it was just something that explained to me why I was the way I was. I had already dealt with it and was dealing with it on a day to day basis in ways that I learned myself. Up until then I thought everybody was like that.

So, it's just something that you have to work at over and over and over and try and fail, and fail many more times until your first tiny success, then more failure, then you start having victories. They happen more often and it's not as scary. You gain confidence that way. A lot of this is easy to say now, yes. But I do remember every last bit of how hard it was and that feeling I'd get when I had to say something to someone or was put in a situation I was uncomfortable in. It was hell. Pure torture. But you can't get out of hell by sitting in one spot. You have to walk through more hell to get to the exit. That's what I did, without even knowing I was doing it.


I can relate a lot to this and went through the whole torture myself when young. You gave some solid advice in this thread.


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31 Jul 2013, 8:16 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
deluge1988 wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
You can't get one if you don't talk to her, and by that I mean actually talk and carry on a conversation and follow up on things with her. .


Which is exactly the darned problem with our ASD; the inability to to the above :evil:


Neither could I until I spent years practicing and learning to. Of course that's work and it's hard to learn and it means that you have to actually do something about it instead of waiting for the love fairy to drop something in your lap because you have been so lonely. I also had to change a lot of things about myself, and that was hard too. But it worked.

So, you can either work on yourself knowing it will take time and you will still get shot down a good bit but you will have at least a fighting chance, or you can sit home and blame everybody else because they don't want you and be bitter and just do without. Those are your options. Choose wisely.
give it a rest frances! the reason you have a husband is because you are a female..it just isnt the same. I dont even mean to attack you, but you said it yourself, you have no job, beat people up and go to jail, and you have cheated on partners in the past...there are aspie men here who have jobs, are good people, and have phds. How are you going to insult us by saying it's your hard work? You got to where you are because of your gender..and once again im not trying to insult you, so anybody who wants to report me, realize im just being real.
thanks.


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31 Jul 2013, 8:23 pm

wtfid2 wrote:
give it a rest frances! the reason you have a husband is because you are a female..it just isnt the same. I dont even mean to attack you, but you said it yourself, you have no job, beat people up and go to jail, and you have cheated on partners in the past...there are aspie men here who have jobs, are good people, and have phds. How are you going to insult us by saying it's your hard work? You got to where you are because of your gender..and once again im not trying to insult you, so anybody who wants to report me, realize im just being real.
thanks.


Are you good people? You definitely don't give off that impression :? And there are guys who have no job, beat people up, go to jail, cheat, "sorry OOM if I offend you in any way, but I like using exact words in these situations" and those guys have relationships, so your argument falls down there.
It has been asked before and I will again, why would someone want YOU, wtfid?


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31 Jul 2013, 8:24 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
Actually, I've noticed more rational women still hanging around, I'm surprised by your patience and perseverance to be honest :lol: Otherwise, to me it looks mostly like a madhouse :shrug:


The bolded is probably why PPR and this section are the most infamous parts of the site. We used to joke that one was the cesspool and the other the zoo.


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31 Jul 2013, 8:31 pm

I do not have a man and I am female,so let's just throw that out the window.OOM has a partner because she just does.I think she is a loyal person,maybe to a fault,but that is her life,not mine.I have been in jail before,judge me.And if I think I am in danger,well,I might also kick some ass.


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31 Jul 2013, 8:41 pm

Kjas wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
Actually, I've noticed more rational women still hanging around, I'm surprised by your patience and perseverance to be honest :lol: Otherwise, to me it looks mostly like a madhouse :shrug:


The bolded is probably why PPR and this section are the most infamous parts of the site. We used to joke that one was the cesspool and the other the zoo.


:lol:

At least the PPR is a debate forum, it's normal for things to get a bit heated. I saw a few nutters but also a lot of interesting, solid posters, in my opinion there's less anger and disinformation there, generally speaking :?

Misslizard wrote:
I do not have a man and I am female,so let's just throw that out the window.OOM has a partner because she just does.I think she is a loyal person,maybe to a fault,but that is her life,not mine.I have been in jail before,judge me.And if I think I am in danger,well,I might also kick some ass.


Absolutely. I'm a man and I have a partner, an NT one go figure! So does Fnord and another bunch of diagnosed males on WP, most just seem to avoid this forum like the plague!


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31 Jul 2013, 8:44 pm

deluge1988 wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
You can't get one if you don't talk to her, and by that I mean actually talk and carry on a conversation and follow up on things with her. .


Which is exactly the darned problem with our ASD; the inability to to the above :evil:


That is the thing... they are called social SKILLS... ALL skills can be learned... I know of at least two autists who are very good at chatting up the ladies... one male, one female


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31 Jul 2013, 8:46 pm

In response to the op, and the poll... I disagree with the premise of this poll...there is a HUGE difference between NOT BEING NOTICED and being hated... They don't hate shy guys... but a shy guy displaying his interest in a relationship will be subtle enough that most NT women will NOT see it.


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