Casual sex and Asperger's/autism

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I personally don't understand or enjoy casual sex.. I mean I've never had sex with a stranger and never saw them again..

I do understand and enjoy f*ck buddies though, but I strongly prefer to wait until I've been in a long term relationship.

I usually wait 4-6 months into the relationship before crossing that boundary, but sometimes it's shorter or longer (depending on what the lady wants).

Godamnit!! ! all the information I'm getting is very mixed and hard to understand. On one thread I'm hearing that "heavy petting" starts on the second date, and on the other 6 month chastity period. IDK. I've been thinking that my assumption that sex shouldn't happen quickly was one of the main reasons my relationships weren't working out since it sends a "disinterred" signal. My "casual" relationships were usually in situations that precluded a LTR and so I went right for sex because there was little to lose. Other times partners showed interest in a sexual relationship but outright rejected my attempts to make it anything more... which I don't understand (mostly).

humans are an endless disappointment.

I was staunchly opposed to casual sex before I'd ever heard the term Asperger's Syndrome, because such behavior equals selfishly using someone you have no intention of committing to. Its despicable, and causes nothing but pain and suffering.

I think thats a failure to understand how other people think. in your mind who is the user and who is the used? what if both parties want a finite relationship.

It's not selfish if it's a give/take thing where both people are selflessly pleasuring the other. There's no intended commitment with no strings attached casual sex, so either neither party is being used or both are being used equally for each individual's self serving needs/wants. How is it despicable? Sex shouldn't hurt.. not sure how it causes pain or suffering. It ought to be a mutually pleasurable experience that causes nothing but physical ecstasy & pure pleasure for the simple enjoyment of our human ability to do that for ourselves and/or our partner.

we definitely have vastly different points of view on sex.

I know others who only ever have sex for love, and others yet who believe sex is only to be done for procreation and that is it.. etc. There are definitely different schools of thought on all of this stuff. I suppose it's only suiting that people's points of view on sex are quite varied considering there are over 7 Billion people on the planet, each with their own unique perspective on life & everything it consists of - sex included.

Casual sex. Something I have become familiar with earlier in the year. I had one partner for this for a good few weeks. Problem? She wanted the relationship. I didn't at the time. It was a real shame because I did like her enough at first to actually quit smoking for her. But I also slept with someone else as well thinking I liked her more. The decision taught me that I made the wrong choice. Sex didn't come as frequently afterwards.

The one night stands, I've had a couple of them. I would think my best sex came after I stopped dating one person and had a one night stand with someone else afterwards. It wasn't intended by either of us for that to happen, but it did. We were supposed to meet for a date later on, and she backed out and I can't remember if she gave me an alternative. I didn't get back to her.

I can't help but conclude that the socially successful [gets sex/partners effortlessly] aspies on this forum must have total body language/non-verbal language fluency, in addition to high-level social intelligence in general.

Casual sex? What do you mean by that? Since I have Asperger's, I don't particularly understand why people would want to have so much sex due to not only unwanted pregnancies but also the fear of catching HIV-AIDS.

because if you don't know what you are doing when you actually get a serious girlfriend your inexperience at sex can cause the relationship to fail. Also, you get L.T.R.'s using the same techniques as C.S. and the difference lies entirely with the girl.



I think I am somewhat high level but that is mostly a cop out. I cannot pick up girls, it's always been opportunistic right place/ right time type situation (+ right words). I also feel like I'm very unsuccessful with girls because all my encounters were clustered in 3 weeks when I was 16 with two encounters in two years during college. That's really not all that much (he says to the virgins /sigh)

Last edited by buffinator on 23 Dec 2013, 8:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yes,and a active social life. the ability to communicate with a wide range of people.

NOT everyone does it. I find I need a lot of comfortable feeling to be willing to interact in such a sexual manner. I don't look down on those who do it but I don't think I can really do such a thing and not try for a relationship. I've only met one woman and she was online. She was more willing to try for sexual activity with me than I was comfortable with since she had told me her views on such things and I believed her. I've had one friendship go badly because of it, won't go into details but I couldn't let myself believe it was nothing. But not everyone is casual about sex, some are just casual about flirting and such.

Eh... I struggle to comprehend sex in or out of a relationship, if I wanted it then yes... I would either be up to my eyeballs in sex with people or desperate to do so. Meh... I don't really understand the social implications all too that well, same goes with many areas of life.

I get too attach to ladies,if I had a ons,I would have
to be her bf or best friend.

I'd be happy with just one.

Multiple sex partners aren't as important as it may seem. Many take pride in finding people they actually like as people and get to know them before hand. Sex for many is a reward for closeness and trust. Be honest with what you want and look for that. I want closeness and to feel like I can atleast trust this person isn't going to cause me harm physically or emotionally not on purpose. I've learned that relaxing and just thinking about what it is I truly want I can get it. Sex is easy for anyone if you have no standards or desire for more. Yes that means unattractive, think the Adonis's get only super models? ha they get what they can. Looks are the skim on the top for me. I enjoy the heart beating passion of someone I truly enjoy to be around. Someone is always ready and willing to give sex, go to a bar and tell every woman or man there you want to go to a hotel straight out. If it's a full bar one will say yes.