I played a mind game on my gf.

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You are the one who makes zero sense. You say that you would do the same thing Shau did... The same exact thing(because he said he would have broken up with her if she had said ok) but when I say good job I'm somehow thumping my chest. Maybe Shau is getting tested because he is a nice guy like he claims and I bet if he didn't do this than his girlfriend wouldn't respect him from here on out in the relationship and she would hold all the power. Relationships are supposed to be balanced.

If shau did anything wrong than why would he post here acting surprised that his girlfriend was being critical of him? If anybody does something wrong than they shouldn't be surprised when somebody calls them out on it. Use some common sense.

If a woman had been in shamus position than I would take her side too. Unlike you who always takes the woman's side here in every thread on Alex's site.

Here are the objective "facts" as I see them.

Fact 1- Shau's girlfriend was trying to nag and manipulate him for some reason. She was wrong to do this.
Fact 2- Shau responded by sinking to her level and using his own manipulation tactics. He was also wrong to do this.
Fact 3- Two wrongs =/= a right.

You may be right, and Shau is actually some kind of "relationship saint" who never did anything worthy of criticism up untill this point (nobody including you knows enough details to make that judgement.) We are simply pointing out he could have handled this situation better and that these kind of behaviors are bad for a healthy functional relationship. Even he agrees that he can only play the "breakup card" so many times.

Still waiting for your evidence that anybody whatsoever is saying that his girlfriend is in the right here............

To be fair, if my hypothetical gf talks to me badly while I didn't do anything wrong my reaction would be probably worse - it's not a mind game, but a reaction of "I don't give a s**t" lol

For example, that crazy "ex" (turned out to be drama queen, nymphomaniac, met through okc- the one who cheated on me) when she was upset about me not being very emotionally responsive in our FIRST week of dating, she said something like "I had so many options (guys), you know!" - my reaction was calmly and instantly: "Ok, go for the other options then, I am not your obstacle" and I've stopped texting her for the rest of the day, she then apologized to me, foolishly I've accepted her apology back then. If she didn't apologized I would have not got back to her so it wasn't a manipulation tactic per se.

The main issue that I've told her I need more time to fall in love with her, that it's just too early for that phase, but she couldn't tolerate that.

And if this happens to me with any other girl, no matter how I love her, my reaction would probably be the same even if it hurts me so deeply.

Shau needs to tell the whole story, word by word, in order to make a fair judgment who's the culprit.

What's with the need to apportion blame?

When it comes to relationships, blame goes out the window in favour of just sorting problems out. Blame gets you no where fast, it just makes people defensive and communication harder.

Shau and his girlfriend had a disagreement, Shau used heavy-handed tactics to get her to back down. Hopefully Shau realises that using heavy-handed tactics all the time is not very nice and next time he might try a different way to resolve the issue which engages his girlfriend and keeps some of the power in the relationship with her instead of leaving her defenceless (which really isn't any way to solve any argument with anyone).

THANK YOU! ^^^

What would your reaction be if your bf tells you "I have so many other options" ?

The question goes for you too Geeko.

I would say I have been in similar positions myself when it comes to mindgames.

A girl I was seeing and not actually dating yet couldn't decide between me and another guy. I told her to make a choice and walked away from that conversation confident that she would pick the other guy. To my surprise, she picked me. The words I used in that conversation really sounded like an ultimatum. I had to endure her doing this again a month later when we were actually dating. I walked away from the girl. I felt I had no choice at this point or this would continue.

There have been others. But this was the only thing I can use to relate to the situation.

Mindgames are dangerous to my personal wellbeing. I now realize that mindgames are a ploy used by the Sith.

Boo. I have a co-worker that said his girlfriend had used this on him plenty of times. He explained to me "what's the point in getting upset. If she wants to leave me and sleep with someone else, she is going to do that. She always tells me this as control tactic."

A lot of women get emotional. That much has been learned by men. During these emotional outbursts, they say some pretty mean and hurtful things and try and may end up becoming more domineering. My co-worker explains to me that its best to remain practical in moments when the other gets emotional.

There is a difference in being offended and seriously suggesting a break up and what OP did - which was use the threat of break-up as leverage even though he had absolutely no intention of breaking up.

This.^^^^

Everyone has the right to be offended. It's how you react to that offense that defines you.

In the example you cited, Boo, you specifiacly mentioned that it wasn't a manipluation tactic but a legitimate (and apperently wise) decision on your part to dump her. The relationship wasn't working and you recognized that.

Based on his posts, Shau actually wants to keep seeing this lady and actually make it work. As I and others have pointed out, manipulative behavior is not indicative of a healthy and stable relationship. At this early stage, Shau runs the risk of letting it become part of the foundation. The (Hypothetical?) example you cited is just more evidence of this.

No, the example is true story.

It must be sad to be so insecure that you need to attack anyone who disagrees with you.

Except shaus girlfriend didn't say that she had other options. She was complaint about something else that we don't know. If a woman told me she had other options I would probably respond with " so what are you saying?" Depending on the situation. This isn't what Shau had to deal with.

and also, sometimes you have to resort to sarcasm when your partner is getting to be a bit too much.. I mean, not every drama needs more drama as a solution

Yea, probably solid advice from now on.

I FORGOT AN IMPORTANT, CRITICAL DETAIL that influenced my decision. She'd been complaining about a wide range of stuff, but a large proportion of it was about things I was doing that were "girly" or "not manly enough". For example, if I moved around too much while dancing, I needed to "dance like man". If I complained about something even as a joke, I was "making girly comment. Only girl complain." So between the domineering behavior and these constant challenges to my manhood, I felt I needed to do something very assertive in order to make it clear that I had a spine and didn't have to put up with her s**t.

Remembering that fact, now I'm 100% positive a major standing up to her was necessary. I accept there's probably better ways to do them, but tell that to my emotionally upset, relationship-naive self a few days ago.