15 Feb 2014, 9:59 am
15 Feb 2014, 10:08 am
15 Feb 2014, 10:57 am
OliveOilMom wrote:
Guess what, some people don't have a mother on Mothers Day or a father on Fathers Day, so suck it up and get over it!
Some people don't even have a pot to piss in either. Luckily for me I do have one of those.
15 Feb 2014, 11:02 am
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Feb 2014, 1:22 pm
Kurgan wrote:
Even my last dysfunctional relationship was better than being lonely.
That's your problem right there. You haven't learned to love yourself enough to feel happy being alone and enjoying your solitude. You're likely codependent on others for happiness. That's what you need to learn to change. Not to give up on having a partner, but to feel whole and happy regardless of whether you have one or not at any given moment. I've been guilty of being codependent on friends in the past for happiness, but not for quite a long time now. It's probably been more than a year since I've actually felt any kind of loneliness, even though I've spent a lot of time solo. I simply am happier in general and spend my time doing things that benefit me that I enjoy vs. being sad that I'm not with someone else. It's very simple, but very powerful, very freeing. Consider striving towards being more like that, IMO it's worth it.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
15 Feb 2014, 2:20 pm
15 Feb 2014, 4:11 pm
15 Feb 2014, 5:11 pm
15 Feb 2014, 7:28 pm
salamandaqwerty wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
Some people can't really toughin'up.They are just naturally tender.Some kids will eventually punch their bully.Others will go home and kill themselves over mean texts someone sent them.
Some make adversity their b***h and others jump off a bridge.
I guess some people are rabbits in a wolf world,they can't really change that.I don't think the meek will inherit anything,certainly not the earth.Someone will take it from them.I just feel sorry for all the people at work and other places and they see people getting all this stuff and no one sends them anything.If they are already feeling down on themselves and insecure,this day really hammer it in.
I don't expect to get anything and not bothered by it,the younger crowd suffers more from that I think.All their friends going out and they have no one.
Some make adversity their b***h and others jump off a bridge.
I guess some people are rabbits in a wolf world,they can't really change that.I don't think the meek will inherit anything,certainly not the earth.Someone will take it from them.I just feel sorry for all the people at work and other places and they see people getting all this stuff and no one sends them anything.If they are already feeling down on themselves and insecure,this day really hammer it in.
I don't expect to get anything and not bothered by it,the younger crowd suffers more from that I think.All their friends going out and they have no one.
^^^
This
I am very proud of the fact that I have not hardened up in the face of a life that by right should have left me dead years ago. I have friends who have hardened up so much that all that remains is made of scar tissue and claws thanks to life's filthy lessons. I know how to fight and have experienced a shitstorm of violence in my life, being hit now hurts just as much as it did when I was a kid, being able to punch back has not made it hurt less it just means I am more capable of hurting someone else in defense which is sort of analogous to life in general.
Many, many people don't survive, the thickness of their skin means very little, it has more to do with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
I like the way you think misslizard! I think you are a very wise soul.
+1.
I have to fight every day. If I didn't I would go hungry and homeless. That has been the case most of my life. I can fight well but I'm still s**t feared sometimes.
I am a scary cat really.
I don't know how we got to this from valentines day though.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Feb 2014, 10:18 pm
Jono wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
Even my last dysfunctional relationship was better than being lonely.
That's your problem right there. You haven't learned to love yourself enough to feel happy being alone and enjoying your solitude. You're likely codependent on others for happiness. That's what you need to learn to change. Not to give up on having a partner, but to feel whole and happy regardless of whether you have one or not at any given moment. I've been guilty of being codependent on friends in the past for happiness, but not for quite a long time now. It's probably been more than a year since I've actually felt any kind of loneliness, even though I've spent a lot of time solo. I simply am happier in general and spend my time doing things that benefit me that I enjoy vs. being sad that I'm not with someone else. It's very simple, but very powerful, very freeing. Consider striving towards being more like that, IMO it's worth it.
If you're happy being alone, then pretty much by definition, it's not loneliness. Sure, I like solitude but if everyone was happy being alone all the time then nobody would ever look for a partner or make friends nor would they ever want or need them. We are social animals, therefore if we're alone all the time then we're pretty much guaranteed to get lonely for the same reason that a dog suffers from separation anxiety if they're left alone your house for a whole day without it's owner or other dogs to keep it company. Aspies mostly desire solitude and are able to cope with being alone more than most NT's actually, as can be seen by the fact that we usually socialise a lot less due to the diagnostic criteria for being on the spectrum, and yet just from browsing this sub-forum, you can see that they can often want a partner and can still get lonely.
Of course people want/need friends & partners in life. I have friends, and eventually I'll have a partner to spend my life with. My point is that people shouldn't settle for being codependent on having a boyfriend/girlfriend for happiness & otherwise be miserable if they're single. I believe people should be happy as often as possible, if not all the time, and that certainly includes when they're solo. If someone is the type of person that's depressed/stressed etc when they're not around their friends or family or significant other, then they need to do some self improvement work and stop being codependent on other people for happiness & learn to be perfectly content during the time they're alone as it's a much healthier happier way to be. Then when you're with people who's company you enjoy you can truly enjoy it vs. having to be around them in order to not be depressed/stressed.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
15 Feb 2014, 11:05 pm
babybird wrote:
salamandaqwerty wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
Some people can't really toughin'up.They are just naturally tender.Some kids will eventually punch their bully.Others will go home and kill themselves over mean texts someone sent them.
Some make adversity their b***h and others jump off a bridge.
I guess some people are rabbits in a wolf world,they can't really change that.I don't think the meek will inherit anything,certainly not the earth.Someone will take it from them.I just feel sorry for all the people at work and other places and they see people getting all this stuff and no one sends them anything.If they are already feeling down on themselves and insecure,this day really hammer it in.
I don't expect to get anything and not bothered by it,the younger crowd suffers more from that I think.All their friends going out and they have no one.
Some make adversity their b***h and others jump off a bridge.
I guess some people are rabbits in a wolf world,they can't really change that.I don't think the meek will inherit anything,certainly not the earth.Someone will take it from them.I just feel sorry for all the people at work and other places and they see people getting all this stuff and no one sends them anything.If they are already feeling down on themselves and insecure,this day really hammer it in.
I don't expect to get anything and not bothered by it,the younger crowd suffers more from that I think.All their friends going out and they have no one.
^^^
This
I am very proud of the fact that I have not hardened up in the face of a life that by right should have left me dead years ago. I have friends who have hardened up so much that all that remains is made of scar tissue and claws thanks to life's filthy lessons. I know how to fight and have experienced a shitstorm of violence in my life, being hit now hurts just as much as it did when I was a kid, being able to punch back has not made it hurt less it just means I am more capable of hurting someone else in defense which is sort of analogous to life in general.
Many, many people don't survive, the thickness of their skin means very little, it has more to do with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
I like the way you think misslizard! I think you are a very wise soul.
+1.
I have to fight every day. If I didn't I would go hungry and homeless. That has been the case most of my life. I can fight well but I'm still sh** feared sometimes.
I am a scary cat really.
I don't know how we got to this from valentines day though.
Thank you.But I don't know if I'm wise.I'd be a better jester than I would a sage.
16 Feb 2014, 1:22 am
Gee OOM, way to make friends and influence people. 
16 Feb 2014, 12:41 pm
16 Feb 2014, 12:44 pm
