Were does all the hate in this sub-forum come from?

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It's OBVIOUS that a man shouldn't say "nice tits" in the street to a woman--obviously, the guy in this instance should be told off immediately, or worse. He is "objectifying" the woman in a negative way. He is the worst kind of a**hole.

What I meant was very specific: that if a man compliments a woman in a nice way, not cat-calling in the street, but in a graceful manner, he should expect the same treatment in return.

Saying "nice tits" in a cat-calling manner is NOT the same as complimenting a woman on her hair in a social setting.

By the way, men ARE honored when they are complimented by woman on how they look. It is not an assumption--it is a fact in most cases.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 23 May 2014, 5:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.

it's not just that--it's the constant reinforcement everywhere you go that, as a woman, your worth is measured by how physically attractive you are to males, and who you are as a person is irrelevant compared to that. and you are reminded of that every time some strange man feels the need to tell you he finds you physically attractive like you're supposed to be grateful for that, because some random person thinks you're fuck-worthy. it's absurd.

What's the difference? Apparent 'pleasantness' of language aside, the intent is still the same. Again: "I have the right to vocally pass judgement on how you look. Definitionally, I expect you to be pleased about this compliment".

If it's not a fact in most cases, then it is an assumption. I have a few people whose opinion I may seek on my appearance, and from who I appreciate a compliment. These are people I know and trust well. Otherwise, it's not something I care for.

Last edited by Hopper on 23 May 2014, 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Women are measured on how physically attractive they are, so are men. I don't really like the fact that it is so--but it is so.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 23 May 2014, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

maybe some men do feel that way, as you do--i don't think you can speak for all of them, however. and even if you could--women are telling you right now they don't like it. please listen, and stop doing it, and stop asking us to be nice to you when you do.

This seems like an appropriate time to post this

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N5p8IXzNdc[/youtube]

I'm not DOING anything.

It's obvious this is going nowhere. It's my fault for even entering this debate.

You have your views, I have mine. That's what makes the world go round. As long as we respect each other.

I don't think the Gender Wars will be resolved in one go.

C'est la vie.

Have a pleasant evening.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 23 May 2014, 5:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

not really, as you dropped it right in the middle of a serious discussion.

if you are telling women you are not acquainted with that you find their physical appearance attractive, you are very definitely doing something.

If you don't like it, then why do you do it? Indeed, why do you bring the woman into it by letting her know your opinion on how she looks?

You are all women? A lot of women (friends, colleagues, coworkers...etc) got sad and disappointed every time I don't notice or say anything about their new hairstyle (in fact, I never did), they expect men in their social circle to notice and to compliment their new hair stuff every time.

i am not all women, obviously--i am simply expressing a desire that has been expressed by countless other women all over the world for decades now, which is "please stop valuing us on our looks and try to see as human beings". surely this is not the first time you've heard such a sentiment from a woman? perhaps it is more common where you live for women to value the judgments of the men in their lives on their physical appearance--but the situation you are describing is between acquaintances. i am talking about approaching strangers just to tell them you find them attractive. that--attention based on our appearance from strange men--is not welcome from most of the women i have known, and i think many of the women on this forum as well. to any women reading this: if i am wrong, please correct me.

I don't approach strangers and tell them how attractive they are.

Any woman of my acquaintance KNOWS that I see her as a fellow human being.

you are stating that you should be allowed to approach a strange woman and tell her she's attractive "politely", and she is obligated to be "polite" to you in return, however.

I NEVER said that. I meant complimenting a woman who is already of my acquaintance. I don't go up to random women on the train, bus, street, etc. and compliment them. I'd be cruisin' for a bruisin' in these instances

You are mixing poop with yogurt (Arabic idiom meaning that you are mixing several things irrelevant together). Commenting on a new hairstyle doesn't mean valuing on their looks, it's simply complimenting their new hairtyle.

And when a woman expects men in her social circle (men she knows) to comment/compliment her new hairstyle that doesn't mean that she wants men to value only on her looks or that what she only values in herself, it doesn't also mean that she wouldn't feel happy if people compliment her work (or whatever skills/talents she has).

And yes I agree with you on the strange-men part, but was kraftie talking about strange men? not sure, didn't read all his posts, but I wasn't talking about strange men complimenting women setting.