Banned from POF

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Not really?

For the MOST part, Hollywood and politicians are reflections of the culture. Society/culture tend to influence their trends, not the other way around. All pols and media can do is try to assess trends to see what the next big thing is coming down the pike, create a demand for themselves, and keep their jobs/make more money. At the moment it's dominated by the attitude that "bright" people espouse a certain liberal agenda. To keep driving that trend and make more money, it's important to sell that "bright" pseudointellectual image.

Political trends are constantly in motion and you can expect a sharp conservative turn over the next decade or so, and once liberal agendas stop being "cool" and "hip," we'll all go back to voting Tea Party Republican or whatever the next cool thing happens to be.

Aside from the so-called conservative "war on women," there just aren't any newsworthy issues that will sway majority opinion in favor of women's issues. They're too busy trying to get gay marriage legalized in every state, immigration laws completely eliminated, and pot legalization isn't too far behind those. Plain fact is when it comes to women's issues, it's not seen as severe enough to drive media. You can't wait on actors/actresses and pols. You have to organize a movement so big where the people are the media can't possibly ignore it and keep their ratings or pols can't ignore it and hope for reelection.

Point is tarantella is doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing. If you care enough about the issue, it's your duty to make your voice heard. If you aren't making your voice heard, you don't care enough. It's as simple as that. (You can use the aspie anti-social excuse, but the message you're really sending is you care more about being anti-social than you do social justice. Hey, it's a free country, right? That's not a judgment on anyone, that's just how it is. I think women already have equality with men, so I don't care a thing about picketing, activism, etc. When it directly affects me and mine, I'll start waving signs and putting flyers under windshield wipers. I simply have bigger fish to fry in my life).

Hollywood sets alot of trends, I always here about how people saw a actress wear something or eat somthing or go somewhere and then others copy it. movies are also a huge boost for travel. people like to go to places seen in movies.
movies pretray the whole read signs and go for the kiss. if more movies did the ask before kiss then the idea would spread and get to more people. if that is what people wanted.

I am not into protesting or picketing. too many people, too close to each other, and too loud. also most are far away as they tend to take place in bigger cities, like LA, portland, DC, etc.

Angelrho is right, women's rights are won by incredibly dogged persistence and willingness to take a ridiculous amount of savage attack in order to get to the goal. Media outlets are, by and large, run by guys who aren't any more anxious than any other guys to cede their position. That's not true across the board anymore, though, and particularly in the last couple of years that's had some surprisingly strong and rapid results establishing better positions for women, largely due to pressure through social media. I mean I've actually been shocked, the last year or so, at how things have gone down.

It does work, though. Like I've said before, the world for women today, in the US, would have been unimaginable from my childhood. The multiplicity of choices, the opportunity, the open talk about sexuality and rights...yeah, this didn't exist, when I was a kid. And it does now. It's an amazing thing, when you watch it go on across generations.

Not everyone's cut out for politics, but there's a lot that doesn't go on in street mobs, which I avoid too. Though I did go to a big one in DC once, and found that essentially it was a humungous networking event. (I used to work for legislators, btw. If you think people in practical politics are normal by any stretch of the imagination, let me disabuse you. They are very, very strange individuals.)

Anyway, sly, I say these things here because in case you haven't noticed, there are women who are aspies, too. And to show up in a place that's billed as a haven for those with AS, and then face an onslaught of sexism...what a terribly depressing thing, and isolating.

I email letters to my senators and reps.

well as people have pointed out the men feel sexism here too.
yet it feels like what women feel is sexism should be banned yet what men feel should be allowed and tell the men to shut up.

yes it makes me feel depressed and isolated. I have considered leaving here as I don't need to be made to feel more sh***y about myself in a place I go for safty and comfort from other aspies.

saw a sexist video today about a thing called the hot/crazy chart guide to women. crazy from 4-10 and hot 0-10
i don't know if they meant it as a joke or not. but that would seem to be sexist, paying a woman less for equal work is sexist.

the male chart was for sure a joke, though it does seem oddly true.

Personally I'd never date a man who doesn't use condoms and refusing to use them IS a deal breaker. Not just because of AIDS but there is genital herpes, syphilous, and that disease that causes cancer. Nope, I'll never date a man who refuses to use any kind of condom.

I'm sorry. Please consider that a lot of females on the spectrum get abused and harassed by men all of the time. We can be naive, so a lot of us are naturally suspicious of men after not understanding "red flags" over and over again. I know plenty of men who are unintentionally sexist. As long as you understand blatant sexism, I think you're not one of the people everyone is talking about.

The only thing you said so far that could be labeled sexist is saying that some women are sluts, but not all of them should be labeled as such. Or something like that. Jesus, I hope my memory is correct and you're the one who said that. If not, never mind. I think it was from this thread. I hope I'm not losing my mind...lol

Hollywood folks don't really set trends, though. They are in the business of attracting attention, so they are always on the hunt for the next big thing. They try everything they can think of and eventually they stumble onto something that's a hit with the public.

Lady Gaga is a genious at fashion statements. I have yet to see people walking around wearing carne asada.

Look at commercial music. People on the radio are either prolific songwriters or they work for those who are. You only get to see the end product. What you don't see are label execs shopping songs out to paid focus groups and analyzing survey results. If you want to know what's going to be a hit with the public, you have to come down from "on high" and meet them where they are. You can't make a profit if you don't know what the public will buy. The only way to find out is to just ask. Hollywood types and politicians are constantly doing that. They are all entrepreneurial risk-takers. If you are a public figure, the tabloids are your best friends. Once you find what gets and keeps attention, you know what works and what to keep doing. They don't really set trends...they just try a lot of crap and go with what works. Just because you work in Hollywood doesn't mean you don't still have to gt lucky just like regular folks do. It just means you have more money to take risks with. They are a lot more interested in what we think than you might know. And the few times they have an original thought in their heads and use their image to fight for a cause, they have a public image and money to push it through the media. Either fewer celebs are into that these days or they choose to keep their generosity quiet (which is the right thing to do anyway).

Incidentally, I have a friend who is the creative director at a major publishing company. They don't take unsolicited material, but he will take the time to critique the work of aspiring artists. It's fascinating to me how this stuff works.

I agree. Most women on POF are really flaky, even plain-looking ones, who, you'd expect, would be on a dating site for right reasons (rather than to mess with lonely guys for the sick thrill of it). I had 7 flake-outs for every 1 successful date on that site. (By flake-out, I mean scheduling a date, then cancelling it.) Most of them have profiles so short, there is absolutely nothing to expand on or respond to when writing the first message, and then they gripe about the "hi how r u" messages they get. It's only a matter of time before POF degenerates into a venting ground for MRA's and single mothers (both of whom seem to hate each other, and no disrespect to either group).

By comparison, I had better luck on OKCupid. I had very few flaky women on there; many simply don't reply if they don't like you or they stop writing when you suggest meeting, but once I had a date set, I never had anyone cancel it last-minute. Also, OKCupid forces you to write a longer profile broken up into many sections, so there always at least something to reference when writing the first message, keeping you out of the "hi how r u" territory. Most of my dates I've gone on in the last 5 years were from OKCupid, and even when they didn't work out, they ended on a peaceful note, with no attempted retaliation from the girl.

You're right to be cautious, but it's important to realize that herpes and HPV won't necessarily be stopped by condoms. Any disease that can be spread through skin contact can be transmitted despite condom use.

I am well aware of that, but that is no reason to increase your chances of catching something by not using a condom of some sort. I also only have sex in (what I believe to be) monogamous relationships and like to talk about it first.

They should really rename this site from "Wrong Planet" to "Beating a dead horse".

This comic pretty much sums up this whole discussion:




Tarentella. Don't you know that most men (75% according Sly's random guess) are decent people and not at all sexist/harrassers/rapists, etc? Therefore, even discussing male perpetuated sexism and harassment is clearly a misandrist attack on all men. Put your scissors away lady!



But seriously. Even if only .001% of men are full blown harassers, based on my experience at least 50% of men are the kind of people who's first response to a sexism discussion is to attempt to derail it with a completely irrelevent and off topic "Not all men" or "women can harass too" defense. At the very least they are guilty of perpetuating these issues by refusing to actually discuss and engage them.

Actually, that still sounds sexist and unfair to me, regardless of what the stats show. Even if most shoplifters turned out to be women, then it would still be profoundly unfair or even to put monitors on all women who enter the shop simply for being women because the numbers would still not mean that all women or even the majority of women are shoplifters.

This reminds me of when businessman Mirko Fischer sued British Airways for forcing him to change seats due to a sex discrimination policy that the airline had with seating adult male passengers with unaccompanied children. Apparently, the resigning for this policy was the same yours above, with respect to statistics that show that peadophiles are more likely to be male:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_sex_discrimination_policy_controversy

With regards to the policy on POF site, they could easily have flag mods who can take a look at a person's account and look at the photos if there are any complaints, or they can have a flagging system where users can flag messages sent them if they have a problem with them and then that would signal the mods to review them. It doesn't mean that all messages with pictures in them have to be reviewed, only the ones that are reported and it's really no different from moderating posts in an internet forum. The site owners just have to appoint enough people to do the moderating and they do that on OKCupid, I think.

as they attack men and say the same thing when the tables are turned I don't see the point.
if a guy says most/women say or do something , she or SA will jump in call it sexist and say not all women .....

so how is men doing the same thing seen as derailing but when they do it its seen a as a needed quest to stop sexism.

I don't like being made to feel like a rapist, sex offender, A*****e, or another bad person just cause theres men who do it.

this is the same as the attacks on Muslims after 911. well the terrorist were Muslims so lets treat all Muslims like they are terrorist.
should we tell all Muslims, Irish, Russians it is their job to stand up to the terrorist who happen to be from their culture to stop. or do we blame those responsible for the crime.

wall mart has a few thefts, not enough to install cameras or hire extra security but they separate the store into sections, wall them off, tell employees to watch customers closely. they treat each customer as a thief, this makes shopping there really uncomfortable.

punish the guy who sends dick pictures. ban him from the site, block his ip and send information to the internet provider and local police depending on the case. don't blame all men on the planet for the actions of that one guy. I don't get why this concept is so hard for those on the left to understand. people are indviduals not groups who share the same mind and org.

we can discuss sexism without being sexist, that is what I am saying. we can say that man a was sexist to woman a without saying all men are ______
I am against sexism on both sides.

so you're saying if someone talks about terror attacks and blames all Muslims and then I say well hey its not all Muslims, then they are ok saying well you are just perpetuating terrorism ?

The difference is no one is saying all men do these things and in your example some one is saying "all Muslims". If someone said "some Muslims do this and we should discuss why and how to prevent it" and someone replied "Yeah, but not all Muslims do it", I would indeed say they are enabling certain irrational religious beliefs. That person would also just be saying the obvious. Anyone who said "All Muslims are terrorist" are most likely racist and only consider middle eastern people Muslim. People attempting to have a rational discussion won't lie and say "all men", and I haven't really seen anyone attempt it here yet.

^^this. no one is calling you a rapist or sex offender, or "making you" feel like one, and no one is saying all men are rapists or sex offenders. so yeah sly, you're derailing.