Innocent things that can mistakeenly seen as creepy?

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I've had people not sit next to me when I was in college, and quite often the last seat to be taken in class was the one that just happened to be right next to me. I'm not an old man with rotten teeth, by the way, nor am I a hot looking chick. Maybe I'm just too intimidating for most (but that doesn't make sense either).

I don't know, maybe I was a hot looking male back then.

I never said you were making it up. Just that an NT is much more likely than an autistic person to "not get the message". Although I'm sure it happens every now and then.

NTs don't say what they're really thinking a lot of the time. So they no doubt assume most others are the same way.

So the person sat on the classroom floor and/or simply left the room to avoid sitting next to you? hmmm...

As previously mentioned, creepiness is subjective, and can vary from one person to the next, but generally, I'd say creepiness in a romantic context is often characterised as the 'creepy' guy being extremely unattractive to the girl he's trying to talk to, exhibiting awkwardness, lacking confidence, general goofiness or eccentricity, or just saying obnoxious or really stupid things. In the context of approaching random women, it becomes harder not to be creepy, as you're already playing against an unspoken social rule (don't talk to strangers unless you have an obvious reason to).

Confidence, assertiveness and verbal succinctness can overtake the inherent creepiness of the situation if used correctly, as well as what you say, how you say it and how you use your body language, but these are things Aspie guys tend to struggle with, hence why we're often considered creepy if we try to approach women. Being physically attractive also helps a lot, since the more the girl in question is interested in you, the less creepy the situation will tend to be perceived.

That's pretty much it. At least how I see it anyway. Keep in mind, I haven't had much success with women to date, but it is something that I ponder over quite a bit.

"You don't know enough about the dudes you're deeming "skeevy" or "bad" based on seeing them with a girl in public for a few minutes -- there's not enough info to know what he's doing wrong, or right for that matter. Nobody could from that snippet of observation (unless the dude was beating her at the time or something). "

considering the guys I am sighting are my roommates, neighbors and classmates all through out my time in college, I think I have a pretty we rounded view of their behavior. and yes, as referenced repeatedly, and had to physically STOP a roommate from beating his girlfriend, if you want this story in detail I will f*****g provide.

"How are you doing "everything right"?"

well I am not doing what women claim is wrong, despite the fact that guys who do do the things that girls list as wrong have girlfriends, thus what grounds do these claims have?

"How, exactly, are you the "embodiment of all the things women claim to value"?"

I am not the embodiment of what they DON'T like, since everything seems to be 'don'ts'

"(And very much hope you've got an answer better than "standing around existing" while "never ever having cheated despite never having had the opportunity to do so" and "not using a cheesy pick up line" and "being livid the women of the world don't see how WONDERFUL and non-skeevy I am"). "

well that's just it, I help people when I don't need to, I gladly share with others whenever I can, I can give pep talks that bring people's moral back even when I myself am down, I teach and I give people chances. problem is none os these are specific to how I treat women, this is how I treat people in general, unless they turn out to be complete a**holes, then I avoid them.

"
My point is that you are convinced you're doing everything right... and you might not be. Or might not be perceived as doing the right things by girls which is translating into your lack of success with women. You can rage at the universe or take a long hard look at your actions.[/quote]"

honestly, I don't know if there is a right anymore, since the parameters set by women are easily violated with no visible drawbacks, the parameters are probably yet another social construct like anything else. only real if you believe it. again, my beef is with the one sidedness of the gender roles, a woman just has to be pretty and present, nothing else and then the burden of initiation is on the guy from then on out, and I think that is utter BS. do I hit on girls? no. its disrespectful to them and disrespectful to you, becasue you are lowering yourself to the act, plus shyness prevents me from being comfortable with a complete stranger, hence why I try to meet people are events and volunteer jobs rather than at bars, more comfortable for her, more comfortable for me.

yes, I had little to no success in the past, however, after my dad died that ceased to piss me off, there are worst pains out there than that. rather it wasn't my lack of success, its rather the interrogation and questioning of my prior love-life, that comes up without fail, and unless I can produce a resume of ex-girlfriend that counts again me. THAT is the part that pisses me off. that an women telling men what to do and what not to do with women, while men who don't follow the those standards get women regardless. either stop with the lists of lies or write something accurate. or, if the "creepo-meter" is infact subjective, then it basically invalidates to whole idea since it has not way of being consistent.

okay, let me dissect this one:

"I was simply pointing out that your writing off men you don't know,"

I have been citing guys I know from college, work, classes, neighbors and former roommates. I know them...

"Blaming your lack of luck with all women on other men's douche-y behavior is weird."

no, watching women compile a list of what men should not do, entrusting MEN how to not behavior towards women yet at the same time women are sleeping with the men who violate this list, invalidate the f*****g list. I have reached the level where i know those lists are BS and yet women still make them and claim they hold validity, and keep pushing them, that part is pissing me off.

"It's a sort of learned helplessness + bitterness attitude towards all women that's baffling."

yeah... better fix that ALL part since I have repeatedly cited foreign women as the exception, showing a clear cultural boundry.

So it's all Swiss women?

yeah, it's her, who else lol

i bet next time she'll be MissAbodah.

I live in the US. my family is swiss, I did years of volunteer assistance for international students coming into the university and transitioning.

what's the exposition on this?

Corollary -- If you're socially isolated, stay socially isolated unless you have a very good reason not to. Your needs are never such a reason; only those of the people you expect to tolerate your company may be.

This is a very common complain though, not just among men but among women: All men in my area/country are X and Y.... all women in my country are X and Y....etc

I think this is a hyperbolic complain to say "All X from my country Y are Z" - but I did a tinder experiment that made questioning a lot of things:
viewtopic.php?t=275336

However you should think of this: Foreigner women who come to your country, might have a different dating agenda than the women living in the countries they come from, so they are not necessarily reflective of the cultures they come from. Some foreigners would actively pursue Americans for instance for ....not so comforting reasons.

In my tinder experiment, in Asian countries, Asian women were recognizing me as foreigner - and I got a lot of matches with them and initial messages, but I thought there might be exotic/foreigner factor from side that making those women seeing me attractive.

However, and here what's really really interesting: in Maghreb countries, especially in Morocco; I reached about 100 matches in few days after swiping like 300 and they were so eager to know me, despite thinking of me as a local to them not as a foreigner ! (as a levantine middle eastern, I look no different than their men and I speak french like them)- like many times more than the women of my country.

So yeah, I have concluded that there IS a "general preference/taste" in the opposite sex per culture/country.

Most guys fall into the average/ugly guy category. If a woman talks to you, you are probably a hot attractive guy.
Average/ugly guys have little or no chance because they are not the hot attractive model/sports star/Hollywood actor.
Feminism pushes the idea that all women should only demand the hot attractive guy and reject the rest.
The average/ugly being seen as a creep/weirdo is society's brainwashing that all women should only want the top 10% hot attractive guys.

Categorically untrue. Over 85% of US adults are married or have been married -- so tons of not super-hot guys and girls manage to find love. Keep in mind 2/3 of US adults are overweight or obese too!

Don't take my word for it. Go look at the weddings/engagements section in your local paper -- count the non-supermodels, non-movie star-like guys, blue collar peeps, etc.

Feminism is about EQUALITY. Your attitude towards women ("I deserve sex, the women are cruel to deprive me of it") might be a contributing factor to your lack of dating success. Besides, what do you have to offer a girl? Why should a girl pick you over all the other single guys out there?

Missrulez, that was quick. Katy.