Nocturnus wrote:
For example, if I swore to defend you and put your safety or wellbeing first..i must honour that by acting in accordance with it.
Just as many people, servicemen and civil servants do everyday, that is an act of love in itself. That is why I believe traits and principles speak louder over feeling a warm energy inside.
"Love is doing the highest good for the other person regardless of the cost to oneself."
That was the definition given by a former pastor of our church. I always liked that. Love has to be more than warm fuzzies (although those are nice too). If it is not backed by action, it means nothing. I have been married 18 years and i will be the first to say it is not all warm fuzzies. But, 18 years later, our love is deeper and stronger than ever. It is the security of knowing we are committed til death do we part. It is costly, yes, but worth all the blood, sweat, toil and tears we have put into it.
I would consider my hubby my soulmate--but are we always on the same page, always understanding? Of course not. We have grown into our understanding of each other with the years. We finish each other's sentences, often speak at the same time only to realize we each made the same comment on the situation, usually know by the look on the other's face what our mate is thinking. It has been a journey and we are still on the path together. To my mind, that is what a soulmate is--at least in the sense of romance and marriage. Not necessarily something that is dropped into your lap, but something you work hard for and are committed to.
You
become, like in "The Velveteen Rabbit." And when you become Real, the wear and tear is not so important.
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse for he was always truthful. "When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt..."It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."...And so time went on, and the little rabbit was very happy--so happy he never noticed how his beautiful velveteen fur was getting shabbier, and his tail was coming unsewn, and all the pink rubbed off his nose where the Boy had kissed him."I think this gives a picture, more than anything, of how i see "soul mates." It softens our sharp edges; and although it is of utmost importance that we are kind to each other, we can't insist on being "carefully kept." We
become...and though it hurts sometimes, we are so happy that we don't mind. The first bliss of romance is maybe past, but being
Real is even better.
09 Nov 2015, 3:04 pm
