Dating websites are not for males - scientific proof.

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What if you switched the statement though? You reference being viewed as the bottom of the barrel due to circumstances beyond control and bothered no one sees you for who you are (a little interpretation there on my part)..but not wanting to glance at women who are bottom of the barrel.. If a portion of men in that barrel are really good people, surely there are some women in the same situation... And perhaps both feel shunned looking for others..because both immediately disqualify each other from their searches.. ??

(Fwiw, i don't think you're bottom of the barrel, i'm just using the terminology used in the post).

Excuse me? You don't know many people, do you? Both men and women fail at life.

Just as a successful woman will not usually show any interest in "failed" men, neither do they seem to care much for "failed" women, either. In fact, it seems to be a general behavior for everyone to not notice any "failed" people of either sex, and to focus on only the successful people, and on their own miserable lives, as well.

If this was not the case, then there would be no public obsession with the lives of celebrities.

Excuse me? You don't know many people, do you? Both men and women fail at life.

Just as a successful woman will not usually show any interest in "failed" men, neither do they seem to care much for "failed" women, either. In fact, it seems to be a general behavior for everyone to not notice any "failed" people of either sex, and to focus on only the successful people, and on their own miserable lives, as well.

If this was not the case, then there would be no public obsession with the lives of celebrities.

The problem is, average people are average.

And live an average lifestyle - that is, leave home at 19, leave university at 22, join the workfoce at 23, build their connections/friendships/relationships and support network at 25, and be engaged by 28.

People who fall behind are considered less than average.

Us aspies are only less than average because of our lack of social skills and difficulty working.

But we are associated with the absolute low-lifes - dropouts, criminals, drug abusers, a55h*les, etc.

I'm pretty sure during high school and possibly yung adulthood, A LOT of us may have been friends with those types.

As a person born in lower-middle class, I know what it feels like, and have integrated myself into middle class society.

My family is full of drug abusers, unemployed, dropouts, criminals, etc.

I am ashamed to introduce the parents of new friends and girlfriends to my family because it ruins my friendships/relationships.

Average/normal people feel above my family, feel superior.

I am not judged on the basis as an individual and my own person, but because of my family and friends. I'm so different than my family and friends.

I’m one of the most ambitious people in my family.

I’m the one who wants to rise above it all, to get his head out of the sh*tty gutter I was born into.

You’ve got to understand that, psychologically speaking, a lot of things are inherited by our families, especially our lifestyles.

There is the concept of intergenerational poverty, which dictates that poverty tends to continue throughout generations in a family.

Poor people tend to have poverty continue in their family, as do the middle class familie’s usually remain middle class, and the rich remain rich.

But your path in life isn’t always so set. There’s always the rare/occasional outlier who influences the family, for better or for worse.

The lucky middle class guy who makes a name of himself and moves on up.

The successful poor person/person of a struggling background who rises and finally lives a decent living.

I’m the second person on my mother’s side to graduate high school, 6th on my father’s, and 7th overall.

Generations after generations and yet I still rank 7th.

I’m one of the few interested in university studies and a higher-earning career.

I have no interest in remaining unemployed and sucking-off the system.

The thing is, I’m STILL less than average.

I’m a recent high school graduate and most haare working already or moving straight to university.

I am going to begin my adult life and future but for now taking some time-off/delaying it as long as possible.

But I’m still seen as one of those people who ‘fall-behind’.

Honestly, what else are me and Sly to expect?

Either we go after the average girls, literaly the 5 out of 10s and hope she accepts us.

Or we go after the absolute bottom of the barrell. The sl*tty, ugly, rude, abusive, bad mothers to their 6 children, drug abusing, high school dropout, alcoholic, unemployed losers.

This just isn’t right. Us aspies are all destined for better, I think.

But like I said average people tend to associate us with the bottom of the barrell simply because some of us lack social skills, are still living at home, and have trouble finding a job.

But it’s an incorrect association - we aren’t absolute low-lifes.

Long story short, I disagree with the notion we should have to lower our standards. If we’re going after an average looking female with an average lifestyle (aka better lifestyle than us), it doesn’t mean we’re out of our leagues.

It means we’re aware we aren’t the bottom of the barrell, and knowing we’re better than that.

What if you switched the statement though? You reference being viewed as the bottom of the barrel due to circumstances beyond control and bothered no one sees you for who you are (a little interpretation there on my part)..but not wanting to glance at women who are bottom of the barrel.. If a portion of men in that barrel are really good people, surely there are some women in the same situation... And perhaps both feel shunned looking for others..because both immediately disqualify each other from their searches.. ??

(Fwiw, i don't think you're bottom of the barrel, i'm just using the terminology used in the post).

Advice I wrote in another thread. I think it's worth repeating here (with adjustments):

Avoid sweeping statements or grand declarations, particularly of the 'all women' or 'all aspie men' stripe. Not because they're insulting - though they are - but because they are useless. In a similar vein, avoid top-down ideas about men and women and aspies and relationships etc - you'll just end up trapped by their 'logic', similar to painting yourself into a corner. Top-down is like putting a lid on things; it constrains them.

Start small, from the ground up, and focus on the particulars of your situation. Analyse, deconstruct, reflect and consider. There's a girl you like, and you don't know if she feels the same but you'd like it to be reciprocated. You want a girlfriend, but can't get one. Etc. You're not the first, and you won't be the last. So, what are the particulars? Who and what and how are you? Who and what and how is she, or would you want her to be? What can you bring? What would you need her to bring? Etc.

Sometimes there's nothing you can do, and you have to wait it out, or change.

I knew a woman once. No, honest I did. Anyway, I was in the midst of some difficulties that felt overwhelming, and kvetching about it to her, and she said, 'baby steps'. And she was right.

Finally, you can have a legitimate problem that needs solving, and for which you can legit ask for help or sympathy, without it having to be the Worst Problem Ever or All Someone/Something Else's Fault or necessitating that Everyone Else Has It Just Fine And Only Me And People Like Me Suffer. I understand, from the literature and experience, that catastrophising is part of our condition. Try and be aware of it, and to step back from it.

You do not need to have it worse than others, or the worst of all, to go 'I'm stumped, and this situation is pissing me off. What do I do?'.

You did not know a woman once! Pthhhff

What do you mean by top-down ideas? Like the "best" have this so why don't i? Or??

I don't care about celebrities or rich millionaires ore billionaires. I only care about the 99% of the population, the real people.

The way people on Facebook, dating sites, blogs, etc make it seem like is all women are well off and only men fail. I've yet to meet or see a woman who is poor or jobless besides some aspie women here.

So in a world where pretty much every woman has a job and home, who does a guy who doesn't have that and isn't good enough date.

Why would strait successful women care about other straight women 0.o

Actually most people seem all to focused on failed people (mostly men) and attacking, mocking, and belittling them. I hear republicans, libertarians, and tea party people go on and on about it.

I'm guess we have entirely different definitions of failed at life and what success is.

I don't care about celebrities or rich millionaires ore billionaires. I only care about the 99% of the population, the real people.

The way people on Facebook, dating sites, blogs, etc make it seem like is all women are well off and only men fail. I've yet to meet or see a woman who is poor or jobless besides some aspie women here.

So in a world where pretty much every woman has a job and home, who does a guy who doesn't have that and isn't good enough date.

Why would strait successful women care about other straight women 0.o

Actually most people seem all to focused on failed people (mostly men) and attacking, mocking, and belittling them. I hear republicans, libertarians, and tea party people go on and on about it.

I'm guess we have entirely different definitions of failed at life and what success is.

The way people on Facebook, dating sites, blogs, etc make it seem like is all women are well off and only men fail. I've yet to meet or see a woman who is poor or jobless besides some aspie women here.

So in a world where pretty much every woman has a job and home, who does a guy who doesn't have that and isn't good enough date.