For the millionth time: Social skills can't be learned

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That's a good analogy. I do have some social instinct, and I'm glad I have it. I don't know what I would do otherwise.

My main issues are knowing what to say, small talk, knowing what action is appropriate to take, what behavior is expected, what clothing is appropriate, knowing what not to say, knowing who to trust, and eye contact. I have some problems with taking things literally, and knowing whether someone is sarcastic or joking. And apparently I don't really use gestures as much as I should.

But facial expressions and tone of voice are natural for me, both using and understanding, although I don't smile (the "social smile") when I'm supposed to. And I have a good sense of humor, and use sarcasm myself on occasion.

The people who struggle with facial expressions, tone of voice, humor, and sarcasm I know have it much worse than I do. I can't imagine having to struggle with all of those additional things.

I'm not sure that those types of social skills are going to be possible for many people to learn well enough to fake it.

That's a good idea. I haven't gotten to that point yet. I did just find a therapist. I was planning on joining a group at some point, but everything has been a little overwhelming since I've been diagnosed.

It's a really weird feeling, and I'm not sure I'm dealing with it all that well. I expect things to get better once I begin therapy. I will make it my goal to find a group in the next month.

^^^ one foot in front of the other, small steps, will get you there.

I believe basic social skills can be learned w practice and research to a certain extent. As an MBA Financial Manager I can get by socially in my profession and I have no problem finding women.

Women in Cali are constantly looking for a BBD - bigger, better deal. Projecting self confidence and financial success is critical.

^^^ what is a "sugar" relationship?

I believe that social skills are learned. I also think there's the possibility that some people are unable to learn (all of) these skills (as well as other people). It's also possible that some of these people are on the autistic spectrum.

Maybe someone should do some research on this subject.

IMHO the higher-functioning AS types [when they do think of their lower-functioning brethren] seem to be a bit embarrassed to be lumped in the same category as them. the reason I believe this, is because of the way the ones who say that those of us who have struggled our whole lives with social functioning are simply not trying hard enough, as though what we've had to endure didn't even qualify as effort. from my perspective it is the same kind of horatio alger-esque harangue as what GOPers level against the working class "riffraff" [in their words] for not being middle-class.

When I was a little kid,my mother would take me apart and tell me what I was supposed to do like say please,thanks,etc.When to smile,when to not.Body language like crossing my arms if I wanted to be alone etc.
So since I was little I've been learning these,at first they felt unnatural,weird.But eventually they became muscle memory,although not the same as instinct suffices.
My mother also has dyspraxia,though she does not have AS and does not show any symptoms.But my dad aND me share a lot of similarities and he does not have dyspraxia
(Dyspraxia=Fine and gross motor problems and more)

I learnt to mimic the typical social skills around me and hide my inability to understand others with certain behaviour. It is not a good idea to mimic the behaviour I found as it was never quite right and left me feeling like I was not right and broken.
Having said this it has been great to understand certain cues and behaviour so I can understand to a point what others are doing/feeling. You can learn to recognise these things to help you interact with others, this is just healthy communication. Just don't try to do it yourself, communicate your way and help others learn to understand that as you learn to understand them maybe.

I have been able to learn social skills, how to act in situations, ect..

But no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to read people or tell how a person really feels just by watching them, tone of voice, ect..

I feel thats the issue people with AS have. People assume we just know, and we don't.

its like all NTs are part of a club with secret codes and gestures that we can never be a part of.

A big issue with not being able to read people is I see what looks like the same behavior in different people and it doesn't mean the same thing. Very confusing

I have learned social skills. It's just that I get tired of wasting them on clueless losers who can't tell their elbows from a hole in the ground.

For someone with autism, having a conversation is like having to eat soup with a fork. We just don't have the right tool for the job, practice isn't going to change that.

Even very aspie people can learn social skills to some degree. Practice, discipline, patience, trial and error etc.

Most do it via what's described as "intellectual processing," as a coping mechanism, which works to an extent but is mentally exhausting.

Personally, I've managed to sort out a protocol to actually treat my ASD successfully and now I am infinitely more intuitively social and find myself rolling my eyes at others' social blunders. It's moments like those that I realize just how natural my ability to navigate the social world is due to the effort I've put in to treating AS.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.