Cool song about getting friendzoned

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Dantac
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16 Feb 2016, 12:19 pm

sly279 wrote:

LyraLuthTinu wrote:

Friendzone is just a codeword for "she won't have sex with me"

No it means you lover her and want to date but she only sees you as useful as a friend.

^ Not just that. If its that then its not a friend zone because she's not pulling your strings to make you think she may be interested in you/shes not ready now but isn't dismissing you.

Friend zone, at least to me, is when the other person KNOWS you're interested (aka you told them) and they play you along on purpose merely to keep you around because you are a useful convenience to them. When you cease to be convenient/useful they generally just cut off all communication and ignore you exist..until later when they suddenly need something from you again.

Hopper
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16 Feb 2016, 12:42 pm

On the one hand, if someone is using your interest in them to get you to do stuff you wouldn't otherwise, get away. That's abusive.

On the other hand, if you're only doing such things in the hope of getting into them into bed, then maybe you kind of deserve each other, and your respective crapiness is at least in part taken up with each other and kept away from the innocent.

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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.

AR15000
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16 Feb 2016, 1:19 pm

Hopper wrote:

Re 'looks' - what exactly is good looking, other than someone who you think looks good? What exactly is attractive, other than someone to whom you are attracted? We can try and find reasons for it, if we need to rationalise it, often with a handwave toward 'nature', whatever that actually means, but that still doesn't quite explain.

There are people who I find very aesthetically pleasing. I just want to go on looking at them, as I might a tree (I really like trees). Obviously I try not to do this in person! That s**t is creepy. But, for me, that is as far as it goes. Aesthetically pleasing is not enough to make me attracted to them, or make me wish we could get all up close and personal.

But attractive is something else altogether. Someone is attractive by who they are in their totality, and by something that is more than the sum of their aspects. Looks come into it, but more in there needing to be a lack of something particularly off-putting. It's almost a self-fulfilling thing. By my being attracted to them, I will find them physically appealing.

I could put up pictures of the women I've been attracted to, and rhapsodise about them and all that, and I wouldn't expect any response except a weary indulgence - 'yes, she's, uh, she sounds nice. Very good, Hopper'.

Similarly, I have no idea why people would find me attractive, but they definitely have. Diff'rent strokes, and all that.

But this doesn't change the fact that what makes someone attractive ultimately boils down to things beyond their control. It's totally unfair, but there's nothing we can do at the present time to change this.

Sweetleaf
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16 Feb 2016, 1:26 pm

AR15000 wrote:

LKL wrote:

Outrider wrote:

The reason some of us care about appearance is on the basis of biological health, something very important for future offspring. It's just human nature and, in my views, quite justified to care about looks.

Different people have different aesthetic tastes in mates. One person might like a muscle-bound body-builder, and consider that 'healthy,' and another person might like a skinny endurance racer and think that is 'healthy.' The idea that the dominant paradigm has a lock on the only way one can be 'healthy' is a little silly, and a lot of what people concerned with appearances base their judgment on is actually a set of external fashions in makeup, hairstyles, and clothing that have nothing to do with health one way or the other.

Quote:

But caring about looks doesn't necessarily have to mean wanting supermodels, it could also mean someone of decent looks and decent/average health, something perfectly reasonable and realistic.

If anything, most 'supermodels' are actually profoundly unhealthy in the sense that they are more likely to die young than the average person. They are encouraged/enforced to such a degree of thinness that many of them have electrolyte imbalances from malnutrition and several have had heart attacks from same.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luisel_Ramos
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... death.html
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle ... .features4
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hila_Elmaliach
http://juicy-news.blogspot.com/2007/01/ ... rexia.html

But when it comes to men, the physical feature that most women are universally attracted to is HEIGHT.

How can one even be certain of this....did they actually survey most of the worlds women to reach this conclusion. I mean height alone seems an odd thing to be attracted to. I'd think most women would go for a shorter guy with more appealing facial features and personality then a taller guy with less appealing features and a less attractive personality if they had the choice between the two. I mean height has next to nothing to do with physical appearance like hair color, eye color, facial features ect, things I always hear women talking about when discussing attractiveness of males.

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AR15000
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16 Feb 2016, 1:38 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

AR15000 wrote:

LKL wrote:

Outrider wrote:

Quote:

But caring about looks doesn't necessarily have to mean wanting supermodels, it could also mean someone of decent looks and decent/average health, something perfectly reasonable and realistic.

But when it comes to men, the physical feature that most women are universally attracted to is HEIGHT.

There is statistical data to back this up. And furthermore I notice countless online dating profiles that have minimum height requirements. Being 6'3", I do get a lot of compliments from women on being tall.

Hopper
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16 Feb 2016, 1:40 pm

AR15000 wrote:

I don't think there's anything could be done about it, short of something like a mix of mindreading and chameleonism (both physical and behavioural).

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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.

LKL
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16 Feb 2016, 2:03 pm

I've dated short and tall guys. Major disadvantage of the former was Napoleon syndrome - sort of an over sensitivity to 'disrespect' from other guys, and concomitant aggressiveness. Also one guy wouldn't ever take off his cowboy boots, even hiking on rough ground, because he didn't want to lose that extra inch.

The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Feb 2016, 2:50 pm

^Sometimes people project their bias on short guys, it is often the case.

Angry tall man = Angry tall man
Angry short man = Napoleon syndrome

Insecure tall man = Insecure tall man
Insecure short man = Napoleon syndrome

Tall man wearing cowboy boots all time = Tall man wearing cowboy boots all time
Short man wearing cowboy boots all time= Napoleon syndrome
....etc

It's like how some whites think of black men are more likely to be thieves.

That's why I don't believe much stories like yours btw (it may be true, but I personally wouldn't take it at face value no matter what you will going to tell me - I so hardly believe that ALL the short men you dated have Napoleon syndrome).

And some women btw have what I call "Embarrassed to stand next to a short date because some friend may see her Syndrome" - like a tall woman I've once dated who she kept looking left and right and walking either faster or slower than me, It was impossible to match her speed lol, and she kept telling me I looked taller in pics. Of course a short man with a woman like that wouldn't feel comfortable and would feel neglected and treated like some plague, that has nothing to do with Napoleon syndrome.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 16 Feb 2016, 3:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LKL
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16 Feb 2016, 3:01 pm

Tall guy who won't take off his cowboy boots for the last inch = non existent.
Tall guy who flares up over misperceived comments about his lack of height = non existent.

As for 'all,' I haven't dated enough men to have a decent sample size.

Last edited by LKL on 16 Feb 2016, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Feb 2016, 3:03 pm

Quote:

Tall guy who won't take off his cowboy boots for the last inch = non existent.
Tall guy who flares up over misperceived comments about his lack of height = non existent.

How can you be so sure, you've met all tall men?

Spiderpig
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16 Feb 2016, 3:12 pm

I seriously wonder how they can act on that sensitivity to perceived disrespect from other men. I'd expect them to have gotten the crap beaten out of them the first time they did it. And I say this because it's the outcome I expect for myself, and I'm average height.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Feb 2016, 3:28 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

Honestly, I think some women do that to justify their physical preference for taller men, so they keep telling that story of the short guy with NS they dated once upon at time... in order to make their preference for taller men sound as if it's based on personality and not on simple attraction.

It's ok if they don't find them attractive, no need for Napoleon syndrome stories.

LKL
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16 Feb 2016, 3:43 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

Tall guy who won't take off his cowboy boots for the last inch = non existent.
Tall guy who flares up over misperceived comments about his lack of height = non existent.

How can you be so sure, you've met all tall men?

Statistically non-existent, then.

The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Feb 2016, 3:47 pm

LKL will accuse me of having NS in 3...2...

Oh wait, she already did.

So predictable .

LKL
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16 Feb 2016, 5:19 pm

?
You won't take off your boots, either?

Seriously, a couple of short guys I dated were sensitive about their height. Other short guys I've dated and/or known weren't. Ive never met, or heard of, a tall guy who wouldn't take off his boots (a short-guy habit that predated me, btw) because he'd be an inch shorter without them.

Frankly, it think a**hole men and your dominance plays cause a lot more grief to short men than women (especially their girlfriends) do.

Why are you taking this personally? I don't even know you.

AR15000
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16 Feb 2016, 7:54 pm

Spiderpig wrote:

Because a lot of shot guys lift weights and bulk up. Even though range is against them when it comes to a taller opponent, leverage works in their favor.

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