Romantic loneliness in men

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Its very rude to tell me stop being desperate when you feel lonely and want a girlfriend and sex. Its patronising me, and even tells me I am doing this wrong while its right for everyone else. Like similar to rebound relationships desperation. These people having rebound relationships have romantic loneliness too and they still get relationships and sex.

Now this doesn't make sense to me, what is a difference between a rebound relationship with romantic loneliness and the person who never had a relationship that lacks of romance? I can't see a difference here to be honest. It got to do with your physical appearance and popularity. if you have lots of friends and support, the girls chase you with negative response. That is inequality issue to the guys who have romantic loneliness issues, as what it said in this thread. I always see women who does this are always unhappy and hate being single. Hence my psychologists told me this is not healthy thing to do since you should love yourself.

Normal and most likely pretty boring and average.

And disabled people can't do that?

There isn't anything special about 99% of the population, but a lot of them still manage to get together and make babies.

Who says they have to have the exact same problems? How about just finding someone non-conventional?

Most people don't. Most people aren't amazing. Most people work dull, monotonous, dead-end jobs... and constantly think about what they'd rather be doing. Most people have boring lives.

Yea, but life isn't super awesome for everyone that isn't disabled.


I don't think this great big rat race is all it's cracked up to be. Even "successful" people burn out and get depressed. I followed my dream, but then I got depressed and it didn't matter anymore. I wanted to do something I enjoy for a living, but it turned out I didn't enjoy any of the options given to me. At a certain point I just couldn't make myself go anymore. I just ran out of fuel and my brain somehow get chemically f****d. So now I'm back to ground zero.

I can understand how the theme of my last few posts would have felt rude to you, I'm posting opinions about my observations, I hope that despite your offence you might consider how you could use this information.

I'm not advocating ceasing the search for a girlfriend. I don't take THAT extreme a position on this.

All I'm advocating is to not make it the "be-all, end-all" in your life.

In my experience, pursuing one's dreams provides a great entree to romance. If one only pursues the romance, without pursuing anything else, one is doomed to failure.

But I don't think career is the be-all, end-all either. Not in economic reality. Most people are simply forced to do tedious and/or stressful things they don't like because they need money to live. "Follow your dreams" is just some pretentious nonsense bandied out at children and naive college students to give them false hopes. Life is drudgery for 90% of people. Once you're an adult, the good times are over.

I don't mean merely a career.

I mean creative endeavors, too. Whether it's in "conventional" artistic expression, or in "alternative expression" (such as that found in computers, mechanics, things like that).

I don't have a "career." I'm merely a clerk. I have a "job."

I agree with that. There is no shame in not having a "career" these days. If you're lucky maybe you can turn your hobby into a business. Easier said than done. Otherwise there's working retail.

What are all these 'creative endeavors' that people have? I do not understand what that means.

Examples of creative endeavors

1. Writing a novel

2. Composing a song

3. Creating a new engine for a car

4. Finding a solution to the National Debt.

And how many people are actually doing these things? It just seems like a cliche thing to say, getting an extroverted hobby is probably a better way of phrasing it since what you are saying is that you must produce in some way or another be it in money or whatever else. I'm just wondering what 'normal' people actually do, I feel like technology has made everybody completely antisocial or maybe I've just haven't been able to adapt along with my peer group that left behind long ago. I don't get fulfillment from social media, most of my "hobbies" that included other people also included substances of a sort or two. Like I just can't believe people are doing all these things and are sooooo interesting, it just feels like I lack something that naturally comes to almost everyone else and that I'm less than.

I don't find it to be cliched. Many introverts and Spectrumites do these things. Creative work is frequently not social in nature.

^I like to garden and create something new: growing plants and flowers from seed, figuring out the timing, soil, sun/shade, companion planting, height, colour scheme, pollinator friendly. Its not reinventing the wheel and I'm still a novice, but its an outlet for a part of who I am, and its project where the achievements boost my self esteem.

I like to cook, does this count?

It's a great hobby you have. It's life-giving. And it's creative. And you don't need to be a social butterfly.

Though you might meet real butterflies.

Of course it counts.

And if your dreams is to get a gf and make her happy then what?