Men's thread:when she never initiates communication
The_Face_of_Boo
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The two first women's replies in this thread are the ones that reflect reality of this matter and not some absurd societal belief that barely exists in the modern world nowadays.
And again, I emphasize on the word *never* in original post.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 14 Jan 2017, 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oh.... but some women do this reaction too from what I keep hearing; if guy is too below her standards asks her out.
So it is a two-ways thing.
Of course it is. It's a social dance involving the cues of two parties over time.
But some people have gotten this idea that you just speak two or three words to a stranger and just ask them out. That hardly ever works in real life unless you're super good looking.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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But you have to understand about the approaching men for hundreds of years we have been told approaching men is unladylike and whorish. In the olden days approaching a man was seen as 'loose'.
There is still a bit of a stigma around it. I know in secondary if I ever approached boy to ask him out I wad bullied and teased for being too upfront and desperate. Also have you seen how NT men react, they are almost insulted because you are too forward.
Those are all common excuses that you ladies repeat over and over again because you don't want to deal with rejections.



I am not convinced.
But in my experience, the women who initiate are always the ones who turn out to be interested, and the ones who never initiate, including the ones who reply enthusiastically, always turn out not interested.
I trust my experience more.
It isn't an excuse, it is something that is conditioned into women by our society, our parents I've seen it for myself and I understand why they do, you can't put the blame on individual women like that yes some do take that chance but most women don't because of what they can be seen as and often at times are ridiculed for it.
Take a step back, read what has been said here and try to see it from other peoples perspective.
I am 100% sure those same people initiated at some point for their cushes.
I don't buy it that a woman at this age never sends a hi to a guy she really likes because of society.
And I have never heard of men react badly on this; on the contrary most males NT or otherwise I talked with on this matter wish it; it is like a dream for them.
Who are these men that wp women keep claiming that they get angry if women initiate with them?Which medeival castle they come from?
I don't buy they're that common and I don't understand why anyone wants to date them in the first place.
You'd be surprised, it takes a while for women to be comfortable enough to engage first. I've seen it for myself, men especially those who focus on masculinity tend to be like this and there is a lot of men like this especially around where I am.
Other times it could be for numerous reasons why women don't engage, sometimes they already have a boyfriend or are gay hell sometimes you can even miss that they are interested in you and you are oblivious to it.
Basically like us we have to be comfortable before making the first move which tends to be men but if a woman feels comfortable she will make that first move if she likes you and is confident.
Do you... realize where I live?
Are you telling me that your area is more conservative/macho than where I live?
Be real!
I don't think sending a signal is the same as making a first move
what are these secret signals by the way
For example, there was this guy I liked who played around with photography. We both went to a meetup thing. I made sure to sit near him, and I made eye contact with him several times and smiled at him.
He at one point asked a question of the presenter. After the presentation, I was standing next to him and I started up a conversation, and told him that his question was a very good one, and one that I had been wondering myself, so I was glad he asked it.
Later he was standing next to a cabinet filled with some photographs and I again started up a conversation about the photographs, and commented on his camera that he was carrying.
Every time I talked to him, the conversation was very short, and he would walk away. He did not start up any conversation with me. He did not initiate at any time.
My conclusion was that he was not interested in pursuing anything further, so I let it go.
This is an example of how we initiate. We stand near you, we comment on something you are carrying or doing, we smile at you, we make eye contact and hold it and nod while you talk and laugh at your jokes.
If you don't respond we can only assume you're not interested because you're not giving anything back.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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I am 100% sure those same people initiated at some point for their cushes.
I don't buy it that a woman at thid age never sends a hi to a guy she really likes because of society.
And I have never heard of men react badly on this; on the contrary most males I talked with on this matter wish it.
The problem with a guy saying he wants women to make the first move is that what he actually MEANS is that he wants the woman HE FINDS ATTRACTIVE to make the first move.
We do make the first move a lot of times, it's just that some guys don't see it or pick up on it, because it's not as obvious as just walking up to you and giving you our number. And if you're oblivious to social cues you probably will miss it entirely. And when you miss this social cue, we assume you're not interested.
I don't think sending a signal is the same as making a first move
what are these secret signals by the way
It is extremly simple.
If the woman, at least every once in a while, scrolls down/search her contacts to find your name; taps it and sends you a "Good morning"/ "Good evening" / hi/hello...etc just for the sake to talk to you and not to ask you for favors (those don't count).
Then you would be darn sure that this woman likes you and cares for you.
Actually, I hear a contrary rule from local women: they tell me they don't initate any chat/texting with male friends (not crushes) because they are afraid to give them the wrong idea and don't want to make them think they like them.
So non-initiation is a strong sign of friendzoning.

The_Face_of_Boo
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I don't think sending a signal is the same as making a first move
what are these secret signals by the way
For example, there was this guy I liked who played around with photography. We both went to a meetup thing. I made sure to sit near him, and I made eye contact with him several times and smiled at him.
He at one point asked a question of the presenter. After the presentation, I was standing next to him and I started up a conversation, and told him that his question was a very good one, and one that I had been wondering myself, so I was glad he asked it.
Later he was standing next to a cabinet filled with some photographs and I again started up a conversation about the photographs, and commented on his camera that he was carrying.
Every time I talked to him, the conversation was very short, and he would walk away. He did not start up any conversation with me. He did not initiate at any time.
My conclusion was that he was not interested in pursuing anything further, so I let it go.
This is an example of how we initiate. We stand near you, we comment on something you are carrying or doing, we smile at you, we make eye contact and hold it and nod while you talk and laugh at your jokes.
If you don't respond we can only assume you're not interested because you're not giving anything back.
But these are very obvious signs.
Even a hoplessly awkward aspie guy can see it through.
That guy was either taken or was really not interested.
Not because he couldn't see the signs.
And these are probably the two most conservative megagroups on this planet. Deny this too.
It's encoraged in Japanese and Korean culture for women to 'confess' and make the first move. I can't speak for middle eastern women as I do not know the culture as well.
Again I'm referring to the first approach not the never initiating
Last edited by Alliekit on 14 Jan 2017, 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
But these are very obvious signs.
Even a hoplessly awkward aspie guy can see it through.
That guy was either taken or was really not interested.
Not because he couldn't see the signs.
Exactly. That's why I let it go.
No one can accuse me of not being obvious lol

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The_Face_of_Boo
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You initated with me more than once. :p
Is that so?
Yes, you even once created a thread just to summon me.

You are hopelessly in love with me, don't deny it.

ps: I am not saying it's mutual though.
The_Face_of_Boo
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And these are probably the two most conservative megagroups on this planet. Deny this too.
It's encoraged in Japanese and Korean culture for women to 'confess' and make the first move. I can't speak for middle eastern women as I do not know the culture as well.
Again I'm referring to the first approach not the never initiating
I am talking about talk initiations from time to time - not about the first move nor the first asking out nor the first approach.
Big difference.
And these are probably the two most conservative megagroups on this planet. Deny this too.
It's encoraged in Japanese and Korean culture for women to 'confess' and make the first move. I can't speak for middle eastern women as I do not know the culture as well.
Again I'm referring to the first approach not the never initiating
I am talking about talk initiations from time to time - not about the first move nor the first asking out nor the first approach.
Big difference.
I understand what you mean even myself, who is absolutely awful at initiating, sends a first test every now and then.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
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Posts: 33,451
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
And these are probably the two most conservative megagroups on this planet. Deny this too.
It's encoraged in Japanese and Korean culture for women to 'confess' and make the first move. I can't speak for middle eastern women as I do not know the culture as well.
Again I'm referring to the first approach not the never initiating
I am talking about talk initiations from time to time - not about the first move nor the first asking out nor the first approach.
Big difference.
I understand what you mean even myself, who is absolutely awful at initiating, sends a first test every now and then.
So you finally admit it.
You confirmed my point in this thread. You see that guys? I am telling you the absolute truth this time, believe me!
The reason why I am so radically stubborn about this thread is due to a very obvious pattern in my experiences.
It's not like I never asked out women who never initiated communication, I did a lot of times.
And here's the pattern:
*ALL* the women who never initiated communication said no.
and *ALL* (yes, all) the women who initiated communication in some days, accepted to go out with me.
34 years and no single exception in that at all.
So that's why, it will take me more than some posts on a forum to convince me otherwise.
And these are probably the two most conservative megagroups on this planet. Deny this too.
It's encoraged in Japanese and Korean culture for women to 'confess' and make the first move. I can't speak for middle eastern women as I do not know the culture as well.
Again I'm referring to the first approach not the never initiating
I am talking about talk initiations from time to time - not about the first move nor the first asking out nor the first approach.
Big difference.
I understand what you mean even myself, who is absolutely awful at initiating, sends a first test every now and then.
So you finally admit it.
You confirmed my point in this thread. You see that guys? I am telling you the absolute truth this time, believe me!
The reason why I am so radically stubborn about this thread is due to a very obvious pattern in my experiences.
It's not like I never asked out women who never initiated communication, I did a lot of times.
And here's the pattern:
*ALL* the women who never initiated communication said no.
and *ALL* (yes, all) the women who initiated communication in some days, accepted to go out with me.
34 years and no single exception in that at all.
So that's why, it will take me more than some posts on a forum to convince me otherwise.
I never said otherwise I've just always said I'm rubbish at initiating as in I can for for a month or 2 without initiating
Dude, that was exhausting. Did you ever think that women don't initiate because you're too argumentative and like to split hairs?.
You turned a sensible topic with different perspectives that actually aided your viewpoint and made it a self fueled psychological study. You even told half the chicks they're full of it for believing some men are archaic in their mating rituals and expectations. I have twice as many guy friends than girl friends. I have to listen to their f****d up conversations over beers. I remember one guy saying girls should never smoke or drink, he's a skater for f***s sake. He smokes pot, drinks etc. etc. These same dudes don't want to date a chick that could beat them up and most of them will drop a chick the second they show interest.
Anywho, that's what I get for befriending a bunch of fuckboys. The chicks you're so pissed at probably had to go through overly demanding fuckboys before getting to you. Most guys still believe that nice guys finish last and teach women to build up walls.
Don't forget, I'm agreeing with you on your initial statement of never. Just not the attitude you have towards why or a bunch of things you've said in this thread.
The_Face_of_Boo
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No, they do initiate at times: when they are interested.
If not, they never initiate.
Anyway that was a low blow.
Get out of my thread please.
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