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This lady has some serious issues with Aspies

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Bridgette77
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03 Dec 2016, 2:29 am

I read that piece of filth, and it left me feeling sad, and angry! I am sad and angry because that idiot has no clue what she is even talking about! I have strong urge to give her a huge chunk of my thoughts letting her know just that. Since I've been with my boyfriend, I've never been happier, and we fall more in love with each other every day! We have a deep understanding for each other, and I work to learn how to see things from his point of view, and he does the same, as best he can. Just like any couple, we are both human, therefore, we make mistakes, but we love each other through them. Just so anyone knows, I was aware of his diagnosis before I even started dating him, and I pursued him! It didn't matter to me! It did help me to know, only so I could understand him better, and to be able to relate to his struggles better, so I could help him, when he needed it. It also helped, so I knew to be more patient with certain things. I would be lost without him, and he's not only become my love, but my best friend! Just for the record, those people that would leave you flat after learning of your diagnosis, aren't worth having in the first place. The right one will accept you regardless, because they love you for who you are, and Learning that you are on the Spectrum won't change that. I have read a lot of posts from quite a few of you, gone back and forth with some of you, and I keep coming back, because I like you guys a lot, and wouldn't tell you this, if I honestly didn't think it was so. There are quite a few of you that are terrific people who are quite datable, and all you need is to find that right one to give you a chance. Many of you have melted my heart with your posts, over the last six months since I've been out here. Don't let this idiot get in the way of you finding something special. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:



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03 Dec 2016, 3:53 am

Alliekit wrote:
Jacoby wrote:
I don't think somebody that isn't ignorant that considers it a 'dealbreaker' would make the mistake. What is the purpose other than to screen somebody out? It's not like herpes or having a kid because I might not want herpes or I might not want to be father to a child or deal with baby daddy drama, what ultimately is the damage in 'not disclosing' here?


there isn't physically but some NTs would consider it deception by not being completely open. Like a person on a dating site pretending to be someone else. Technically they are that personality and the person you spoke to but you would still be upset if they didnt look like the picture because they kept it from you and deceived even though they didn't lie because technically they never claimed the photo was themselves. (an exaggerated example i admit)

And exactly what auntblabby said! I pretended for years and it only lead to me being around toxic people who i felt uncomfortable around. As soon as i admitted my ASD i became their target and decided i would have been better off not knowing them in the first place.


Auntblabby you are so wonderful i cannot imagine anyone calling you creepy! There are some cruel people in the world :cry:


ASD does not define me.



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03 Dec 2016, 4:11 am

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ASD does not define me

I think that is the crux of the issue.... for example people with DS have become defined (and generalised) by the label. The reasoning behind screening for DS is questionable, it has wider social implications, like a change in a cultures value system.
This thread reminds me of the argument of what should be vs what is.



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03 Dec 2016, 4:46 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't give a darn about women who read here our opinions because I won't likely meet them in person.

I will keep posting my opinions on the matter without pretending otherwise.

I have other more serious stuff and concerns to disclose like my atheism and my real opinion of islam - which is largely not acceptable where I live, and I disclose this early , so let alone to make them understand a condition with a weird name.
"Oh it's like Autism but much midler" - "oh but autistics can't talk".
Even disclosing my height online is more important.

Personally, people perceive me as normal but only very quiet or shy or introvert - and that's fine ....better than thinking of me of having something with an alien label for them.

Besides my AS is undiagnosed, so I have no proof that I have it anyway - so why should I disclose something that I suspect in me yet unproven?

This is my first post on this site so I may make mess up so forgive me if I do!

I met a man a few months ago (we only had a few hours together when he was in my country for work) and we now keep in contact through messaging. I did not suspect when we were together, that he MAY have aspergers but within a few days of messaging, I suspected he has. Also, on reflection of his behaviour,this was confirmed.
So, do I drop him? No, I decided to seek out information to help me communicate with him in a way he understands. Btw, my search led me here and I want to thank you all for how you have helped me relate to him.

Maybe Boo, you should care about women who post here as although you may not meet them irl, you may meet some woman who does like you and wants to understand. You say you are not officially diagnosed but are you not on this website for the same reason many NT's are? Support and understanding is needed on both sides.

If someone is aware they have aspergers, I really don't know how they could keep it a secret; to me it sounds exhausting. In fact, as is the case ( I highly suspect) of the man I met who has no idea he has aspergers (again, speculation), it is far more refreshing as he is not trying to hide anything and is just being himself.



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03 Dec 2016, 5:15 am

^ and what makes you think that I am not being myself? AS is not written on my forehead - it is not something with physical and visible symptoms - if I don't tell they won't know (they would think I am very introvert, timid... as always), and unlike you, very few would have any idea what it is.

I simply choose not to disclose it but that does not mean not being myself. Know the difference folks.

I can assure you, that the non-disclosing path is not exhausting at all to me, not even a bit, in fact it was disclosing it and keep explaining, and kept being seen as "having something" which was by far more exhausting for me in the past.

Secrecy is better for me.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 Dec 2016, 5:32 am, edited 2 times in total.

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03 Dec 2016, 5:20 am

Alright, time to debunk sooo many of the opinions in this thread.

Whoever said we have to hide who we are and can never 'be ourselves'?

Just because you don't tell someone about your Aspergers does not imply you won't be yourself.

You could just say you're 'weird' or 'eccentric' and 'shy', really.

Think of how many undiagnosed people who have no idea they might have Aspergers, and really do just consider themselves strange and a unique person.

Secondly, when it comes to being undiagnosed, should undiagnosed people keep it a secret or not?

The thing is, what if you're wrong?

What if you're a hypochondriac and don't realize it, and the person you're dating doesn't realize either?

"I think I have Autism. I also think I have ADHD, Skin Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, OCD, etc."

Where is the line drawn on what you tell your partner whatever mental disorders, physical disabilities or diseases you 'think' you might have and what you're actually diagnosed with or what the psychologists have told you you're very likely to have?

I think an undiagnosed person should keep it a secret, because in all honesty they may very well be wrong about their guess.

Not every secret should be revealed between partners.

I remember on a Bisexual forum, a married woman of 15 years said she realized she was Bisexual and wondered if she should tell her husband or not, especially since she said it does not effect her marriage with him and she is not interested in experimenting with anyone else but wants to stay in a strictly monogamous relationship with HIM, and she is fine with keeping it a secret.

Hmm..I wonder if it's worth really risking a marriage over something like that?

League_Girl wrote:
If I had met someone and they seemed to be this good of person I met and then all of a sudden they changed into a different person after we move in together or got married, I would feel deceived and tricked because I want people to be themselves, not put on a persona. I think it's so wrong to be something you are not because if you are not willing to keep up with that charade for life, don't do it. That is just hurtful and very dishonest. But apparently some aspies do that according to NT women.


What if the person actually LIKES acting?

And when I say 'acting' I don't mean pretending to be someone else or a fake, I mean being the best version of themselves.

I have a much more confident, content, articulate, etc. version of myself that I like to fit-into in social situations.

It's still me, it's just 110% me.

I don't even relax with friends, I like using them as practice to be as N.T. as possible.

It's only family I truly don't put any effort into to 'act normal' with because they aren't worth the effort because they already care for me unconditionally.

I guess I'd relax eventually with a girlfriend, but not in the beginning...

Would that be deception?

I'm not faking anything, but being myself - myself is someone who enjoys acting as normal as possible.

With family I care less about eye contact, having my head up, using gesture with my hands, body language, tone of voice, etc.

With friends and girlfriends I do all that, I make eye contact, have confident body language, use hand gestures, etc.

It's unlikely I'd ever keep my Asperger's a secret, though. I always crack pretty early-on, but then again I have had VERY tolerant and usually other disabled girlfriends myself.

One particular super tolerant accepting type of girl made me feel comfortable enough with her to actually confess I was Bisexual - on the very first date!!



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03 Dec 2016, 5:26 am

Exactly, it is a really strange reasoning.
Non-disclosing = not being one-self.

Who said that? Just imagine someone who is aspie yet isn't aware of his AS.
So he won't be himself until he founds out?



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03 Dec 2016, 6:23 am

Outrider wrote:
Alright, time to debunk sooo many of the opinions in this thread.

Whoever said we have to hide who we are and can never 'be ourselves'?

Just because you don't tell someone about your Aspergers does not imply you won't be yourself.

You could just say you're 'weird' or 'eccentric' and 'shy', really.

Think of how many undiagnosed people who have no idea they might have Aspergers, and really do just consider themselves strange and a unique person.

Secondly, when it comes to being undiagnosed, should undiagnosed people keep it a secret or not?

The thing is, what if you're wrong?

What if you're a hypochondriac and don't realize it, and the person you're dating doesn't realize either?

"I think I have Autism. I also think I have ADHD, Skin Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, OCD, etc."

Where is the line drawn on what you tell your partner whatever mental disorders, physical disabilities or diseases you 'think' you might have and what you're actually diagnosed with or what the psychologists have told you you're very likely to have?

I think an undiagnosed person should keep it a secret, because in all honesty they may very well be wrong about their guess.

Not every secret should be revealed between partners.

I remember on a Bisexual forum, a married woman of 15 years said she realized she was Bisexual and wondered if she should tell her husband or not, especially since she said it does not effect her marriage with him and she is not interested in experimenting with anyone else but wants to stay in a strictly monogamous relationship with HIM, and she is fine with keeping it a secret.

Hmm..I wonder if it's worth really risking a marriage over something like that?

League_Girl wrote:
If I had met someone and they seemed to be this good of person I met and then all of a sudden they changed into a different person after we move in together or got married, I would feel deceived and tricked because I want people to be themselves, not put on a persona. I think it's so wrong to be something you are not because if you are not willing to keep up with that charade for life, don't do it. That is just hurtful and very dishonest. But apparently some aspies do that according to NT women.


What if the person actually LIKES acting?

And when I say 'acting' I don't mean pretending to be someone else or a fake, I mean being the best version of themselves.

I have a much more confident, content, articulate, etc. version of myself that I like to fit-into in social situations.

It's still me, it's just 110% me.

I don't even relax with friends, I like using them as practice to be as N.T. as possible.

It's only family I truly don't put any effort into to 'act normal' with because they aren't worth the effort because they already care for me unconditionally.

I guess I'd relax eventually with a girlfriend, but not in the beginning...

Would that be deception?

I'm not faking anything, but being myself - myself is someone who enjoys acting as normal as possible.

With family I care less about eye contact, having my head up, using gesture with my hands, body language, tone of voice, etc.

With friends and girlfriends I do all that, I make eye contact, have confident body language, use hand gestures, etc.

It's unlikely I'd ever keep my Asperger's a secret, though. I always crack pretty early-on, but then again I have had VERY tolerant and usually other disabled girlfriends myself.

One particular super tolerant accepting type of girl made me feel comfortable enough with her to actually confess I was Bisexual - on the very first date!!



And what if the woman liked the you you were always around your friends and her and then you just dropped all that after getting into a relationship together or moving in together and then she didn't like the "new" you because she liked the "other" you when you first met?

BTW do you find it exhausting to be normal?


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


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03 Dec 2016, 6:38 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ and what makes you think that I am not being myself? AS is not written on my forehead - it is not something with physical and visible symptoms - if I don't tell they won't know (they would think I am very introvert, timid... as always), and unlike you, very few would have any idea what it is.


I wasn't actually referring to you per se but rather to the man I met.



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03 Dec 2016, 6:43 am

League_Girl wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Alright, time to debunk sooo many of the opinions in this thread.

Whoever said we have to hide who we are and can never 'be ourselves'?

Just because you don't tell someone about your Aspergers does not imply you won't be yourself.

You could just say you're 'weird' or 'eccentric' and 'shy', really.

Think of how many undiagnosed people who have no idea they might have Aspergers, and really do just consider themselves strange and a unique person.

Secondly, when it comes to being undiagnosed, should undiagnosed people keep it a secret or not?

The thing is, what if you're wrong?

What if you're a hypochondriac and don't realize it, and the person you're dating doesn't realize either?

"I think I have Autism. I also think I have ADHD, Skin Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, OCD, etc."

Where is the line drawn on what you tell your partner whatever mental disorders, physical disabilities or diseases you 'think' you might have and what you're actually diagnosed with or what the psychologists have told you you're very likely to have?

I think an undiagnosed person should keep it a secret, because in all honesty they may very well be wrong about their guess.

Not every secret should be revealed between partners.

I remember on a Bisexual forum, a married woman of 15 years said she realized she was Bisexual and wondered if she should tell her husband or not, especially since she said it does not effect her marriage with him and she is not interested in experimenting with anyone else but wants to stay in a strictly monogamous relationship with HIM, and she is fine with keeping it a secret.

Hmm..I wonder if it's worth really risking a marriage over something like that?

League_Girl wrote:
If I had met someone and they seemed to be this good of person I met and then all of a sudden they changed into a different person after we move in together or got married, I would feel deceived and tricked because I want people to be themselves, not put on a persona. I think it's so wrong to be something you are not because if you are not willing to keep up with that charade for life, don't do it. That is just hurtful and very dishonest. But apparently some aspies do that according to NT women.


What if the person actually LIKES acting?

And when I say 'acting' I don't mean pretending to be someone else or a fake, I mean being the best version of themselves.

I have a much more confident, content, articulate, etc. version of myself that I like to fit-into in social situations.

It's still me, it's just 110% me.

I don't even relax with friends, I like using them as practice to be as N.T. as possible.

It's only family I truly don't put any effort into to 'act normal' with because they aren't worth the effort because they already care for me unconditionally.

I guess I'd relax eventually with a girlfriend, but not in the beginning...

Would that be deception?

I'm not faking anything, but being myself - myself is someone who enjoys acting as normal as possible.

With family I care less about eye contact, having my head up, using gesture with my hands, body language, tone of voice, etc.

With friends and girlfriends I do all that, I make eye contact, have confident body language, use hand gestures, etc.

It's unlikely I'd ever keep my Asperger's a secret, though. I always crack pretty early-on, but then again I have had VERY tolerant and usually other disabled girlfriends myself.

One particular super tolerant accepting type of girl made me feel comfortable enough with her to actually confess I was Bisexual - on the very first date!!



And what if the woman liked the you you were always around your friends and her and then you just dropped all that after getting into a relationship together or moving in together and then she didn't like the "new" you because she liked the "other" you when you first met?

BTW do you find it exhausting to be normal?


About the bold part:
Exactly and there's an additional stigma against the undiagnosed:
"It is is your head, you're just introvert" , "malade imaginaire", "you look normal",... etc

The undiagnosed have no ethical obligation to even mention it.



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03 Dec 2016, 6:52 am

League_Girl wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Alright, time to debunk sooo many of the opinions in this thread.

Whoever said we have to hide who we are and can never 'be ourselves'?

Just because you don't tell someone about your Aspergers does not imply you won't be yourself.

You could just say you're 'weird' or 'eccentric' and 'shy', really.

Think of how many undiagnosed people who have no idea they might have Aspergers, and really do just consider themselves strange and a unique person.

Secondly, when it comes to being undiagnosed, should undiagnosed people keep it a secret or not?

The thing is, what if you're wrong?

What if you're a hypochondriac and don't realize it, and the person you're dating doesn't realize either?

"I think I have Autism. I also think I have ADHD, Skin Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, OCD, etc."

Where is the line drawn on what you tell your partner whatever mental disorders, physical disabilities or diseases you 'think' you might have and what you're actually diagnosed with or what the psychologists have told you you're very likely to have?

I think an undiagnosed person should keep it a secret, because in all honesty they may very well be wrong about their guess.

Not every secret should be revealed between partners.

I remember on a Bisexual forum, a married woman of 15 years said she realized she was Bisexual and wondered if she should tell her husband or not, especially since she said it does not effect her marriage with him and she is not interested in experimenting with anyone else but wants to stay in a strictly monogamous relationship with HIM, and she is fine with keeping it a secret.

Hmm..I wonder if it's worth really risking a marriage over something like that?

League_Girl wrote:
If I had met someone and they seemed to be this good of person I met and then all of a sudden they changed into a different person after we move in together or got married, I would feel deceived and tricked because I want people to be themselves, not put on a persona. I think it's so wrong to be something you are not because if you are not willing to keep up with that charade for life, don't do it. That is just hurtful and very dishonest. But apparently some aspies do that according to NT women.


What if the person actually LIKES acting?

And when I say 'acting' I don't mean pretending to be someone else or a fake, I mean being the best version of themselves.

I have a much more confident, content, articulate, etc. version of myself that I like to fit-into in social situations.

It's still me, it's just 110% me.

I don't even relax with friends, I like using them as practice to be as N.T. as possible.

It's only family I truly don't put any effort into to 'act normal' with because they aren't worth the effort because they already care for me unconditionally.

I guess I'd relax eventually with a girlfriend, but not in the beginning...

Would that be deception?

I'm not faking anything, but being myself - myself is someone who enjoys acting as normal as possible.

With family I care less about eye contact, having my head up, using gesture with my hands, body language, tone of voice, etc.

With friends and girlfriends I do all that, I make eye contact, have confident body language, use hand gestures, etc.

It's unlikely I'd ever keep my Asperger's a secret, though. I always crack pretty early-on, but then again I have had VERY tolerant and usually other disabled girlfriends myself.

One particular super tolerant accepting type of girl made me feel comfortable enough with her to actually confess I was Bisexual - on the very first date!!



And what if the woman liked the you you were always around your friends and her and then you just dropped all that after getting into a relationship together or moving in together and then she didn't like the "new" you because she liked the "other" you when you first met?

BTW do you find it exhausting to be normal?


Exactly-it's false advertising-what you see on the pack is not necessarily what's inside! Dating someone and living with them are totally different situations.
IMO, I think we should all be ourselves(Aspie, NT or otherwise) as who wants to be with a partner who doesn't accept them just as they are?



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03 Dec 2016, 8:10 am

League_Girl wrote:

And what if the woman liked the you you were always around your friends and her and then you just dropped all that after getting into a relationship together or moving in together and then she didn't like the "new" you because she liked the "other" you when you first met?

BTW do you find it exhausting to be normal?


Yes, but I ENJOY it. I like the challenge.

It's so hard to describe but I am trying to tell you I am still being myself, just super-me.

It's just once I relax, super-me becomes regular me.

I don't see why it's an act. I'm not pretending to be anything other than what I truly am.

And what am I? I am an ambitious and hardworking person with a very ambitious personality who strives to be the best person he can be and have the most control over his own life, yet at the same time approach it with a carefree and relaxed attitude.

Being myself means being a little better than what I actually am, which unfortunately must be 'deception' when I AM being myself.

It's funny how people say 'be yourself' when I bet there's a least one 'weirdo' in this world and 'being themselves' means being a method actor who likes to pretend to be all sorts of different personalities all the time.

This isn't me but just an example of what I mean. That poor sucker is screwed.

How guys like Johnny Depp ever get wives is a mystery.

Look, watch parts of these two videos of the same guy, he's quite similar to me in mannerisms and voice and behavior and watching both of these videos I relate to how he behaves in both of them, except he exaggerates a little in the second one. Forget about the content or the awkward things he says, I'm not that awkward, but just analyse how he stands, how he speaks, body language, etc.:





Should I REALLY be like how he is in the first video if it means 'being myself'? (aka relaxed at home me?)

I'm also 'being myself' if I'm being like he is in the second video (aka me at school/study/work/etc), so which one is more impressive and presentable?



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03 Dec 2016, 8:21 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Alright, time to debunk sooo many of the opinions in this thread.

Whoever said we have to hide who we are and can never 'be ourselves'?

Just because you don't tell someone about your Aspergers does not imply you won't be yourself.

You could just say you're 'weird' or 'eccentric' and 'shy', really.

Think of how many undiagnosed people who have no idea they might have Aspergers, and really do just consider themselves strange and a unique person.

Secondly, when it comes to being undiagnosed, should undiagnosed people keep it a secret or not?

The thing is, what if you're wrong?

What if you're a hypochondriac and don't realize it, and the person you're dating doesn't realize either?

"I think I have Autism. I also think I have ADHD, Skin Cancer, Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar, OCD, etc."

Where is the line drawn on what you tell your partner whatever mental disorders, physical disabilities or diseases you 'think' you might have and what you're actually diagnosed with or what the psychologists have told you you're very likely to have?

I think an undiagnosed person should keep it a secret, because in all honesty they may very well be wrong about their guess.

Not every secret should be revealed between partners.

I remember on a Bisexual forum, a married woman of 15 years said she realized she was Bisexual and wondered if she should tell her husband or not, especially since she said it does not effect her marriage with him and she is not interested in experimenting with anyone else but wants to stay in a strictly monogamous relationship with HIM, and she is fine with keeping it a secret.

Hmm..I wonder if it's worth really risking a marriage over something like that?

League_Girl wrote:
If I had met someone and they seemed to be this good of person I met and then all of a sudden they changed into a different person after we move in together or got married, I would feel deceived and tricked because I want people to be themselves, not put on a persona. I think it's so wrong to be something you are not because if you are not willing to keep up with that charade for life, don't do it. That is just hurtful and very dishonest. But apparently some aspies do that according to NT women.


What if the person actually LIKES acting?

And when I say 'acting' I don't mean pretending to be someone else or a fake, I mean being the best version of themselves.

I have a much more confident, content, articulate, etc. version of myself that I like to fit-into in social situations.

It's still me, it's just 110% me.

I don't even relax with friends, I like using them as practice to be as N.T. as possible.

It's only family I truly don't put any effort into to 'act normal' with because they aren't worth the effort because they already care for me unconditionally.

I guess I'd relax eventually with a girlfriend, but not in the beginning...

Would that be deception?

I'm not faking anything, but being myself - myself is someone who enjoys acting as normal as possible.

With family I care less about eye contact, having my head up, using gesture with my hands, body language, tone of voice, etc.

With friends and girlfriends I do all that, I make eye contact, have confident body language, use hand gestures, etc.

It's unlikely I'd ever keep my Asperger's a secret, though. I always crack pretty early-on, but then again I have had VERY tolerant and usually other disabled girlfriends myself.

One particular super tolerant accepting type of girl made me feel comfortable enough with her to actually confess I was Bisexual - on the very first date!!



And what if the woman liked the you you were always around your friends and her and then you just dropped all that after getting into a relationship together or moving in together and then she didn't like the "new" you because she liked the "other" you when you first met?

BTW do you find it exhausting to be normal?


About the bold part:
Exactly and there's an additional stigma against the undiagnosed:
"It is is your head, you're just introvert" , "malade imaginaire", "you look normal",... etc

The undiagnosed have no ethical obligation to even mention it.


Your right they don't and we never claimed otherwise.

ASD does not define me either however it does bring about struggles and difficulties that affect my relationship and daily life

I am really glad that you and Outrider can get away with being percieved as only "eccentric" but not all of us have that experience. I have been perceived as 'slow', 'ret*d' 'stupid' 'childish' etc and this is only what people have said to me. At least when I tell them I have autism they can understand um not slow or stupid I just take longer to respond

Also can I just add no one said to reveal it on the first or second date. Its ok for them to get to know you first just it seems wrong to hide an official diagnosis for years

You lads are jumping down our throats like we expect you to walk up to girls and say "hi there I'm autistic" :roll: . We are talking about a lifetime relationship where it can be revales after a few months



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Posts: 33,664
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

03 Dec 2016, 9:18 am

Oh about the negative adjectives such as slow - I got this too.

Disclosing it doesn't change bullies' attitude nor will make a girl who thinks of me that negatively to fall for me, so I see zero reason to do so.
In fact, I didn't take till age 3.5 - school thought I was mentally ret*d and wanted to send to special needs school (yes we start school at 3) but I have passed the toys-puzzles test without the verbal part so I continued in the regular class.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 03 Dec 2016, 9:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

QuillAlba
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Age: 50
Posts: 2,739
Location: Scotland

03 Dec 2016, 9:19 am

It's all our fault , lads.

It's always our fault.

Can we have a section where people can bash Autistic males?

I'm a weirdo , I'm socially inept, I have my own way of doing and saying things.

If you don't like it, you know what to do.



stevens2010
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03 Dec 2016, 10:28 am

Sequoia wrote:
http://heartlessaspergers.com/how-to-spot-a-man-with-aspergers-syndrome/
I don't even have the words for this. I'm not looking for love, but if that's what it's like with an NT I don't want it. Heartless Asperger's indeed.


It's clear she doesn't like us much.

On the other hand, since she is a good writer and captures many aspects of what being an aspie is like, I read all the way through the main page.

Since her main point is that women should avoid aspie men at all costs, as they are like a plague, it would be easy for any of us to be insulted. On the other hand, many of the traits and behaviors she described so well I have spent decades learning to moderate. And yes, as she writes, I have done this by observing and imitating the behavior of others. This, however, is how any child learns social interactions. It's just that it took me longer. That's why they call it a disability.

Here's my main point: All my life, I have wished for people who will give me an honest explanation of what it is about me that turns them off so much, without being totally cruel about it. So she has come along, and more or less done that (but in general terms, about us all). So I read what she has to say with as much open mind as I could. I've discovered many of the things she described on my own, over dozens of years. She is pretty harsh, but I don't think her main page (that, anyway) rises to the level of cruelty. However, is she biased against us? Obviously. The Aspie divorce rate is pretty high too, so she must have quite a bit of company.