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Another wasted year

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auntblabby
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29 Dec 2016, 1:37 am

Marknis wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I still have fears I will have to become someone like my older brother if I want things to change. He's a complete racist, sexist, homophobe, and self-serving "Christian" but it seems like those are the only men who succeed, atleast here in the Bible Belt.

don't give in to the dark side, you can only go with one team- either the mammon team [dark side, all the foul mercenary things of earth] or the light team [the good guys who wish to transcend the limitations of earth]. if you go with mammon you stay down with mammon until the end. resist.


The dark side in the Bible Belt: crappy pop country music, lame churches, dive bars, celebrity gossip, cheap beer, crappy cigarettes, yellow paged books, gobs of snot on the ground, public urination, heart attack inducing food, roadkill, domestic violence, teenage pregnancy, STDs, smell of gasoline everywhere, and Wal-Mart.

gee :o that sounds similar to my [red] county.



Marknis
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30 Dec 2016, 10:30 am

auntblabby wrote:
Marknis wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I still have fears I will have to become someone like my older brother if I want things to change. He's a complete racist, sexist, homophobe, and self-serving "Christian" but it seems like those are the only men who succeed, atleast here in the Bible Belt.

don't give in to the dark side, you can only go with one team- either the mammon team [dark side, all the foul mercenary things of earth] or the light team [the good guys who wish to transcend the limitations of earth]. if you go with mammon you stay down with mammon until the end. resist.


The dark side in the Bible Belt: crappy pop country music, lame churches, dive bars, celebrity gossip, cheap beer, crappy cigarettes, yellow paged books, gobs of snot on the ground, public urination, heart attack inducing food, roadkill, domestic violence, teenage pregnancy, STDs, smell of gasoline everywhere, and Wal-Mart.

gee :o that sounds similar to my [red] county.


Am I on to something? The Bible Belt likes to claim it is so "moral" and blah blah blah but I don't see that at all. Instead, I see hypocrisy, celebration of anti-intellectualism, and environmental degradation.

Sweetleaf wrote:
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Well it seems like you're putting a time limit on it, and spending too much energy trying to make it happen 'right now'

it needs to be mentioned that like women, most men have a "sell-by date" that is a hard time limit to their general attractiveness and sexual functioning/reproductive quality. old sperm generally has a lot of "blanks" in it or defectives that statistically cause a higher rate of birth defects in children. I didn't lose my v-card until I was too old [probably older than 99.999999% of other men] to function properly, and it literally was anticlimactic. too late for me. that may be [at least in part] why so many men on these forums appear to be "desperate" because they are trying to avoid a "too late" fate like mine, a most ignominious fate.


Yeah I am aware of that, but its still not a good idea for one to over-strain themselves further mentally, because I think it can create missed opportunities and make you feel like it will 'never' happen and thus you should give up. Also is early 30's really considered old? I am 26 and my boyfriends 31 I mean granted it seems like a lot of people get LTRs in their early 20's so 30's may be a bit later than most but I wouldn't really see it as like biologically running out of time per say like realistically even if it feels time is running out that is still a good few years before functioning starts declining. But yeah I am not judging people feeling like time is running out, I felt the same way myself in the past.


Well, can you really blame them for feeling like it will never happen? I've tried to get out of my rut constantly but it seems like nothing I do is ever enough. People tend to have a "Don't approach me" vibe whenever I see them and the conversations fizzle out no matter how hard I try to make it interesting. I feel like I have a good reason to feel the way I do.



Marknis
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30 Dec 2016, 10:51 am

I know I am going in circles but I really don't know what I need to do with myself. If I make it to 30 without a girlfriend, I will most likely snap. I've read too many horror stories of guys my age and older never getting out of their ruts and they were also considered "weird" for being single at their ages. Some have told me there is no time limit but the fact I have only had dead ends in regards to dating only reinforces the fear that my time is indeed running out.



sly279
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30 Dec 2016, 7:57 pm

I'm almost 30 and seems only thing I have to look forward to is suicide :( but I guess it's all guys like me are good for. Perhaps the nazis and eugenics were right to exterminate people like me



WantToHaveALife
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31 Dec 2016, 3:26 pm

How long have you been single OP?



IstominFan
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31 Dec 2016, 5:02 pm

I'm 52 and have never been married. I haven't lost hope, however. I know it's a tall order for a man to put up with the likes of me, but I am working on myself and expanding my social outlets daily. I have used my unusual interests to build social contacts.



Nick22
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31 Dec 2016, 5:18 pm

Be yourself and good things will follow. I know its hard but you just have to keep going. Try to find some good things and interests to follow in the meantime. The more things you do, the more chance of meeting someone with similar interests. Reckon 2017 is going to be your year!



bamsaidthelady
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31 Dec 2016, 7:27 pm

Nick22 wrote:
Be yourself and good things will follow. I know its hard but you just have to keep going. Try to find some good things and interests to follow in the meantime.


This might an unproductive reply, but here goes.....
Aspergers is *very often* coupled with something else that makes it hard to know who "you" really are or should be. I have been depressed since I was 18 (probably longer) and have a general all-around dopamine addiction. I'm very self-aware and introspective, but still speak in monotone, often ramble about an anecdote or random trivia, and have a lot of trouble "switching on" to this hidden person that people seem to occasionally be okay with/enjoy. I'm trying to stick with positive habits this next year but fear the self-defeating cycle and SAD will win over.
I'm not going to kill myself, or stop searching for the next job that won't work out (I currently have one right now, but it's part-time), or intentionally shut myself off from speaking to strangers or other people. [b]But being the "self" that has existed for a long time is not the answer.

As for the interests things, I live in a small-ish metropolitan area and haven't found much on Meetup.com.
* Anime - no idea. There are conventions 5 hours away, but that's potentially wasting money.
* Krav Maga - not taught in non-major cities
* Movies - This is more of a "find a group of friends first" thing
* Video games - similar to above (lounging around Gamestop or the one indie store doesn't sound helpful)
* Visual art - no idea


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 94 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 123 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


Bataar
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02 Jan 2017, 3:28 am

After so many years of being single/lonely/alone, I've been forced to develop hobbies and interests that I can participate in by myself. It's hard to meet people when you're by yourself and can't think of anything else to do.



auntblabby
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02 Jan 2017, 3:36 am

IstominFan wrote:
I'm 52 and have never been married. I haven't lost hope, however. I know it's a tall order for a man to put up with the likes of me, but I am working on myself and expanding my social outlets daily. I have used my unusual interests to build social contacts.
if you don't mind, why is it "a tall order"?



Peacesells
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02 Jan 2017, 3:45 am

auntblabby wrote:
Marknis wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I still have fears I will have to become someone like my older brother if I want things to change. He's a complete racist, sexist, homophobe, and self-serving "Christian" but it seems like those are the only men who succeed, atleast here in the Bible Belt.

don't give in to the dark side, you can only go with one team- either the mammon team [dark side, all the foul mercenary things of earth] or the light team [the good guys who wish to transcend the limitations of earth]. if you go with mammon you stay down with mammon until the end. resist.


The dark side in the Bible Belt: crappy pop country music, lame churches, dive bars, celebrity gossip, cheap beer, crappy cigarettes, yellow paged books, gobs of snot on the ground, public urination, heart attack inducing food, roadkill, domestic violence, teenage pregnancy, STDs, smell of gasoline everywhere, and Wal-Mart.

gee :o that sounds similar to my [red] county.

You should totally emigrate to a blue state, it's all ranbows and ponies and s**t there!



314pe
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02 Jan 2017, 4:11 am

sly279 wrote:
Suicide should be legal

Suicide is legal in most of the world and united states. It's interesting that suicide wasn't decriminalized in the GB up until the 1961, however.



auntblabby
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02 Jan 2017, 4:16 am

314pe wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Suicide should be legal

Suicide is legal in most of the world and united states. It's interesting that suicide wasn't decriminalized in the GB up until the 1961, however.

I think he may have meant physician-assisted suicide.



314pe
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02 Jan 2017, 5:01 am

auntblabby wrote:
314pe wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Suicide should be legal

Suicide is legal in most of the world and united states. It's interesting that suicide wasn't decriminalized in the GB up until the 1961, however.

I think he may have meant physician-assisted suicide.

Maybe, but that would be very hard to implement. I personally, don't think that it would be ethical for a doctor to prescribe lethal medication to a depressed person. You could argue that an alternative puts such person person through more pain, however.



sly279
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02 Jan 2017, 5:42 am

314pe wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Suicide should be legal

Suicide is legal in most of the world and united states. It's interesting that suicide wasn't decriminalized in the GB up until the 1961, however.

Suicide isn't legal in the us. They'll stop you, even so far as shooting you, lock you up and then take you to trial. We aren't allowed to decide when we die. We must serve society and government be good little taxe makers.



314pe
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02 Jan 2017, 5:48 am

sly279 wrote:
314pe wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Suicide should be legal

Suicide is legal in most of the world and united states. It's interesting that suicide wasn't decriminalized in the GB up until the 1961, however.

Suicide isn't legal in the us. They'll stop you, even so far as shooting you, lock you up and then take you to trial. We aren't allowed to decide when we die. We must serve society and government be good little taxe makers.

Shooting someone who's attempting a suicide would be the most ironic way to stop it.