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How can I ask a girl out in a public place?

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Alliekit
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03 Mar 2017, 6:56 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
yup, welcome to the world of being a guy


if you shout sexual remarks at anyone whether it be man or woman whether it be coming from man or woman its sexual harassment i.e. unwanted sexualisation. so no its not the world of being a guy its the world of not being a dick



RetroGamer87
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03 Mar 2017, 7:03 pm

^ I have a feeling you two are talking about two different things.


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AngelRho
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03 Mar 2017, 7:28 pm

Alliekit wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yup, welcome to the world of being a guy


if you shout sexual remarks at anyone whether it be man or woman whether it be coming from man or woman its sexual harassment i.e. unwanted sexualisation. so no its not the world of being a guy its the world of not being a dick

In Want's defense, we all do get pigeonholed as dicks.

To which I say, "haters gonna hate." I'm defo not looking for dates from that crowd.



Alliekit
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03 Mar 2017, 7:48 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
yup, welcome to the world of being a guy


if you shout sexual remarks at anyone whether it be man or woman whether it be coming from man or woman its sexual harassment i.e. unwanted sexualisation. so no its not the world of being a guy its the world of not being a dick

In Want's defense, we all do get pigeonholed as dicks.

To which I say, "haters gonna hate." I'm defo not looking for dates from that crowd.


I meant the catcallers being dicks for shouting at women not Want. I apologise to Want if it came across that way



kraftiekortie
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03 Mar 2017, 7:52 pm

Catcalling could be threatening at times.

It could be like a gang of kids who gang up on one kid in the playground.

It could acquire that sort of character.

I've seen this sort of thing happen.

A bunch of guys catcall, then surround a woman.

Imagine if you're sitting on a train, and a bunch of people, all of a sudden, surrounded you.



rdos
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04 Mar 2017, 4:15 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
So asking a girl out is sexual harassment?


Yes, if you do it in the wrong way, or if she is not interested. That's how today's feminism and Western culture feels about it.

We guys probably should lock ourselves up and never go out. That way we will not happen to offend anybody.



The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Mar 2017, 5:15 am

^Try to ask out strangers in an Eastern culture then; would they react differently? :lol:

I bet It doesn't work anywhere.



rdos
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04 Mar 2017, 5:25 am

I bet, with a little bit of luck (a woman that likes that method + find you interesting), you could get into a relationship with a stranger woman anywhere on the globe. :lol:

It's just women in our Western, feminist culture that are easily offended. They have forgotten about the possibility of just ignoring a guy, and think they must see any contact attempt as sexual harassment.



rdos
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04 Mar 2017, 5:28 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Catcalling could be threatening at times.

It could be like a gang of kids who gang up on one kid in the playground.

It could acquire that sort of character.

I've seen this sort of thing happen.

A bunch of guys catcall, then surround a woman.

Imagine if you're sitting on a train, and a bunch of people, all of a sudden, surrounded you.


Just because some jerks use catcalling like that, doesn't mean everybody does. The problem is that when catcalling is brought up, it is always this kind of behavior that people think about. Not a guy expressing appreciation for a girl he likes (oh, I forgot, that's objectification and sexual harassment too).



RetroGamer87
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04 Mar 2017, 6:21 am

rdos wrote:
I bet, with a little bit of luck (a woman that likes that method + find you interesting), you could get into a relationship with a stranger woman anywhere on the globe. :lol:

It's just women in our Western, feminist culture that are easily offended. They have forgotten about the possibility of just ignoring a guy, and think they must see any contact attempt as sexual harassment.
Yes. The line I've heard a number of times is if a guy asks a girl out, he thinks he's "entitled" to a date. Note that the guy asks for a date, not demands a date. Because he asks for a date, she can say no.

IDK, it's like they expect us to read their minds and only ask them out if we already kow they're going to say yes. They could say no. They could even say no politely rather than angrily. I guess they don't want to deal with a small amount of discomfort but they don't mind guys putting up with a bigger amount of discomfort.

But remember, us guys are all "privilidged".


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kraftiekortie
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04 Mar 2017, 6:37 am

I believe in feminism....but not in some of that Third Wave stuff.

I meow to women I know. They don't mind.



RetroGamer87
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04 Mar 2017, 6:49 am

Yeah! Old school second wave feminism was cool.

They fought the wage gap back when there was an actual wage gap.


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rdos
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04 Mar 2017, 7:18 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
IDK, it's like they expect us to read their minds and only ask them out if we already kow they're going to say yes.


That's the only safe method. However, if we don't express our interest, they will not even know we are interested, and we will not know if it is safe. So when a culture equals expressing interest with sexual harassment, then how would guys ever hope to find interested girls?



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04 Mar 2017, 7:50 am

rdos wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
IDK, it's like they expect us to read their minds and only ask them out if we already kow they're going to say yes.
That's the only safe method. However, if we don't express our interest, they will not even know we are interested, and we will not know if it is safe. So when a culture equals expressing interest with sexual harassment, then how would guys ever hope to find interested girls?
We're doomed!


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Alliekit
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04 Mar 2017, 7:52 am

rdos wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
So asking a girl out is sexual harassment?


Yes, if you do it in the wrong way, or if she is not interested. That's how today's feminism and Western culture feels about it.

We guys probably should lock ourselves up and never go out. That way we will not happen to offend anybody.


:roll: No you misrepresenting feminism.

Asking out is never a problem as long as the guy is respectful and not overtly sexual. Shouting sexual remarks at someone is harassment however because it's intimidating and somewhat predatory.

If someone makes sexual comments to me no matter how good looking they are it makes me feel disgusting and uncomfortable . If someome shouts sexual things it stays with me and makes me not want to go out in public. It makes me not want to go near any man (even though I know they aren't all like that)



Alliekit
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04 Mar 2017, 7:54 am

rdos wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Catcalling could be threatening at times.

It could be like a gang of kids who gang up on one kid in the playground.

It could acquire that sort of character.

I've seen this sort of thing happen.

A bunch of guys catcall, then surround a woman.

Imagine if you're sitting on a train, and a bunch of people, all of a sudden, surrounded you.


Just because some jerks use catcalling like that, doesn't mean everybody does. The problem is that when catcalling is brought up, it is always this kind of behavior that people think about. Not a guy expressing appreciation for a girl he likes (oh, I forgot, that's objectification and sexual harassment too).


How do you define cat calling?

I define it as shouting sexual comments at a person not expressing appreciation so perhaps we are on the wrong page.

I just think shouting at anyone is disrespectful