Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?

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Chronos
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13 Sep 2017, 12:49 am

FunkyPunky wrote:

Chronos wrote:

FunkyPunky wrote:

Okay so lets say a guy and a girl are friends. They get to be really close friends. The guy develops feelings for the girl and would like to date her but the girl is only interested in him as a friend. The guy says "I've been friendzoned." Suddenly the guy is being attacked by a horde of angry women. They say the friendzone doesn't exist. They accuse him of being sexist and misogynistic. They say he feels entitled to sex because he's a "nice guy." They ask him where his fedora is. They point out over and over and over how a woman is not obligated to return his feelings. The guy never said or even hinted at any of these things but the women are 100% convinced that they all apply to him and that he deserves every bit of abuse they throw at him.

Why is this such a common thing?

A guy is not friendzoned by the fact that the girl would rather be friends with him alone. The guy must then continue to maintain a relationship with the girl under the false cover of being a friend. And to this end, women become upset by these guys because they are liars. These guys claim to be a friend when they have ulterior motives, and often grow to harbor resentful and hostile feelings towards the woman.

"The guy must then continue to maintain a relationship with the girl under the false cover of being a friend"? What are you talking about? You can't secretly have a relationship with someone. I can't pretend to be a girl's friend when actually I'm her boyfriend but she doesn't know that. If you're not her boyfriend all you are is her friend regardless of what you actually want to be.

He pretends to be her friend when his motive is to not be her friend but be her boyfriend, and then, as his resentment grows, he becomes a "frenemy". He misrepresents himself.

Chronos
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13 Sep 2017, 12:51 am

SilverStar wrote:

Chronos wrote:

Yes, guys lie about, and hide their intentions with women.

If a guy suddenly starts hanging around you all the time, or goes out of his way to talk to you, he is probably romantically interested, no matter if he tells you or not. Guys don't do this for no reason. If he asked you out and you turned him down, and he still wants to hang out with you, he is still interested, but he is just trying a different approach (pretending to be your best friend).

Which is dishonest and lying and almost never works. He has a better chance if they part ways on positive terms and cross paths again in the future when they are both in different places in life.

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13 Sep 2017, 1:20 am

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Nope I don't even have a pc.

What's E?

Estrogen. And the reason I ask is because you learn a lot about life from it imo. You learn people think they know everything, people are stupid, and people will ignore answers right in front of their face regardless of how it is presented to them because people are stupid.

But back to the E thing, I blame E solely because women have extremely powerful emotions because of this, and their emotions can be their reality which is........not very good for making the most logical decisions at all times.

If you would really like to know the truth about estrogen, it does not actually have a strong influence on emotions or judgement like testosterone does. It's a far more mild hormone, and female estrogen levels overlap with male estrogen levels during part of her cycle. In fact, female estrogen levels only get significantly higher than that of a male's for just a few days around the time of ovulation. This faciliates ovulation and also makes her look and smell more attractive to heterosexual males. "Female" hormone related mood and emotional liability in women is something that only affects a minority of women, and is actually typically from hormone withdrawal which typically occurs from the rapid drop in progesterone near the end of the menstrual cycle, or shifts in the ratio of estrogen and progesterone. I put the word female in quotation marks because both men and women actually have testosterone, estradiol (estrogens) and progesterone, and they are thought to play an important part in the health of both sexes. If, for some reason, you had to take exogenous hormones...for example, perhaps you have some type of endocrine problem such as hypopituitarism, the only one that typically comes with a warning about behavior (aggression and risk taking) is the testosterone.

funeralxempire
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13 Sep 2017, 4:21 am

bobchaos wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

college educated women apparently struggle with finding suitable partners

I remember reading a study that said most woman will look for a man they perceive as slightly less intelligent as themselves, and being a man I'm in a solid position to tell you my ego would not allow me to date a woman I perceive as intellectually superior to myself

could this explain the difficulty educated women have? Guys don't want to date them because their egos won't allow it?

Sounds likely.

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13 Sep 2017, 4:31 am

funeralxempire wrote:

bobchaos wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

college educated women apparently struggle with finding suitable partners

could this explain the difficulty educated women have? Guys don't want to date them because their egos won't allow it?

Sounds likely.

Women date upwards, and men date downwards.
It is equally correct to say that women are not turned on by men who are below them, or percieved as below them anyway.

SilverBoltsisWmax
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13 Sep 2017, 5:54 am

Closet Genious wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

bobchaos wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

college educated women apparently struggle with finding suitable partners

could this explain the difficulty educated women have? Guys don't want to date them because their egos won't allow it?

Sounds likely.

Women date upwards, and men date downwards.
It is equally correct to say that women are not turned on by men who are below them, or percieved as below them anyway.

Which is why lots of women end up in a state of unhappiness because they are never satisfied. Also I call bs on what you said before becuase women and men do not have the same levels of E in their body not by far. And considering what I've read, been told from doctors etc about estrogen as a whole I'm pretty sure your information in that last post is off the mark.

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Aaendi
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13 Sep 2017, 6:43 am

funeralxempire wrote:

MRAs like to pretend to be the equivalent to feminists, but unfortunately (at least online) they often seem to focus on issues like 'why can't we have sex with women who are passed out drunk?' instead of more reasonable concerns.

Prove it. You just committed a false rape accusation right there.

Last edited by Aaendi on 13 Sep 2017, 9:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Sep 2017, 9:06 am

Chronos wrote:

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:

sly279 wrote:

Nope I don't even have a pc.

What's E?

Not sure about that:

http://www.hemingways.org/GIDinfo/hrt_ref.htm

In the Estradiol table, men have almost equal level of it to post-menopause women only.
All other categories of women have significantly more of it.

Aaendi
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13 Sep 2017, 11:48 am

If honesty is so important, then people should just let men be honest with their intention, and not be like "this man thinks he is entitled to sex just because he's biologically attracted to me."

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13 Sep 2017, 2:34 pm

Boxman108 wrote:

Women peak in their 40s? You mean after they can't have children anymore? That's hilarious. Very confusing how there are so many single moms or women who rode the carousel looking for beta bucks, while there are plenty of guys with women who are actually in their prime.

Women can have children after 40. It isn't unusual at all. I could have had children into my early 50s.

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DW_a_mom
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13 Sep 2017, 2:37 pm

sly279 wrote:

DW_a_mom wrote:

sly279 wrote:

wanderlust77 wrote:

Maybe you don't see women commenting how sexy Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg is but trust me, if they met in real life, most women would bend over backward to please and impress them. It doesn't matter that they are unattractive nerds.

Women are triggered by the friendzone because if you are friendzoned as a woman that means you are not attractive enough. Circumstances don't matter. Women are judged by their looks and if they are not attractive enough...
Also a lot of women have narcissitic traits, basically "how dare you not find be beautiful????"

Are you saying it's cause of their money and status? Cause me saying that people say I'm misogynistic. I don't disagree it is interesting to see a woman here say it. I see women everywhere else admit to it though.

There is a super fine line with that one. You can say that A FEW women SEEM to only be interested in a guy's money or status, because that is actually true. We women know it, and we do not respect it in other women. But to suggest that would be the only reason those women might be attracted to guy, or to suggest that women, in general, are like is a problem. It isn't true, and it is insulting. It is a bit like saying men are only capable of liking a woman if her assets are falling out; the insinuation is far too broad and negative. But to say it is a possibility for a particular individual when all the evidence in front of our eyes is suggesting it? That is Ok. Just be really careful to limit and couch the comment.

My friend's BIL got famous and she watched as women suddenly got very interested in a guy she knew to be below par. She was pretty blunt after meeting many of those women: its usually the money, although not always.

Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates made very intelligent marriages. They married women who are true partners; intellectually compatible and similar in pre-fame social status. We like and respect those women. And it is a pretty big signal to most women that these men aren't going to be easily torn out of their marriages. I don't know how many women throw themselves in front of them anyway, but it seems like it would be a waste of time.

Unlike my friend's BIL, who got divorced as soon as he got wealthy and started dating trophy types. I don't consider a man like him to be a catch. At all.

Never said it's the only thing, but men could met 99% of all their other requirements and have a min wage job and they wouldn't date him. A mans income is one of if not the most important things women require. Most won't date a loser who's personality they like and share hobbies with

I meet a lot of women's requirements but I don't have a real job and this they say I'm not a real man.
Just like I've never called women gold diggers. I simple say most women won't date a guy unless he has a certain income and women get all defysnd assume I'm calling them gold diggers. Most aspie women here even say they won't date a guy who doesn't have a good job. It's pretty much a universal standard. It's a carryover from the past when women didn't work but women won't let it go. There's no meninism movmoto push to get rid of it either. It's going get worse to as labor jobs are replaced by robots. Men go to college less then women. So more women will get good jobs while more men will lose good jobs.

But here is the funny thing: a 40 year old woman who doesn't want kids (depends on the woman), has a career and probably already owns a house, is also less likely to care if the guy she dates has much income. Some women that age are just looking for company. That can be true of some women in their 30's, as well. Just saying.

(I'll be clear in case anyone gets confused: I'm married. Happily. Definitely not making any suggestions involving self-interest, just doing what older married women do: trying to help younger people find their person)

You've also touched on a subject that I could write pages and pages on: why fewer men than women are going to college. To keep it short, it isn't because men are less intelligent or have lower prospects, but because of changes in our education system and perceptions. Having both a son and a daughter, I think we've made a few mistakes in getting to this place, and it will make things more difficult for those in the dating world. Or ... the next generation will totally change their expectations, which would be positive for you. Who knows. But watching this all play out with my own children and their friends has been difficult at times. The rule of unintended consequences often has a huge effect on society.

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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 13 Sep 2017, 2:50 pm, edited 3 times in total.

jrjones9933
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13 Sep 2017, 2:40 pm

Aaendi wrote:

If honesty is so important, then people should just let men be honest with their intention, and not be like "this man thinks he is entitled to sex just because he's biologically attracted to me."

I think mature people feel exactly that way. It's not incompatible with wanting them to keep quiet about it and be polite. Some men do act entitled. It wasn't so long ago that no means no was don't take no for an answer and keep asking.

One of the few pieces of useful info I got from reading PUA material was to indicate sexual interest early and playfully, then drop it and forget about it unless you get a positive response. It turns out that second part has a huge impact on whether the other person feels complimented or threatened.

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funeralxempire
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13 Sep 2017, 2:47 pm

Aaendi wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

Prove it. You just committed a false rape accusation right there.

Oh, who did I accuse? :roll:

And, if you're familiar with their videos and message boards, you've seen the discussions I'm talking about.

funeralxempire
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13 Sep 2017, 2:49 pm

bobchaos wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

college educated women apparently struggle with finding suitable partners

could this explain the difficulty educated women have? Guys don't want to date them because their egos won't allow it?

Potentially. I've found a girl I'm convinced is smarter than me, and she's dating a guy she's convinced is smarter than her. We're both likely close enough in that regard that it's a waste of time to argue, so obviously it's the thing we argue about most often. :lol:

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13 Sep 2017, 8:15 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

Aaendi wrote:

funeralxempire wrote:

Prove it. You just committed a false rape accusation right there.

Oh, who did I accuse? :roll:

And, if you're familiar with their videos and message boards, you've seen the discussions I'm talking about.

Because false accusations totally are not a huge problem. At least if you happen to have a vagina, anyway. As soon as we see one face the same sentence a man would get, the courts will remain a joke.

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SilverBoltsisWmax
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13 Sep 2017, 8:50 pm

I think that the fact that drunk sex will soon be phased out due to the ability for a girl to say it wasn't consensual I was drunk is entertaining.

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Why are women so triggered by the friendzone?