But it’s all about personality >.>

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To be honest, I cannot even afford overseas holidays, and I don’t work a minimum wage job.

It cost me a couple of months salary to pay for a trip to Hong Kong, so it’s not something I’m going to be doing very much.

It just seems like an unrealistic thing to expect in regards to dating, and something someone is very unlikely to get. I really cannot see it as being a deal breaker, as so few people can afford it.

funny story about "ambition and incentive" coupled with lack of foresight:

a friend of mine who was in his late 60's at the time related an hilarious story to me.

he knew a guy who had a great entrepreneurial idea and he sold his house and borrowed money to get it going.

what he wanted to do was buy a large barge (flat bottomed) and a front end loader to remove excavated dirt from newly released land with residential developing the islands in some riverways.

so the scene is the island was sold to rich people all who had an idea for an idyllic mansion on the island, and they needed to remove the residual dirt from leveling the land and have it transported away to a terminal somewhere.

the residents intended to transport themselves to the mainland using boats. the idea of isolation and tranquility appealed to them.

anyway, the guy in question bought a barge designed to transport dry materials such as dirt or grain etc.
the barge was not capable of being driven onto by the front end loader, so he had the front end loader transported to the river island using some sort of vehicle ferry.

so the work started. he was given an idea of how to gauge when the barge was full because there were lines painted on the sides of the barge which indicated how deep it was sinking in the water according to it's load.

well he worked merrily all afternoon on the first day, and he was able to pile the barge high with dirt, and according to the lines, the barge could accept more.

at one point however, it occurred to him that the barge does not seem to be sinking any further down as the load increased, and the investigated, and to his horror, he found that because the tide was out, the bottom of the barge was wedged on the river bed and could not go down further.

it dawned on him that the barge was disastrously overloaded and would be swamped with water when the tide came in.

he frantically tried to scoop stuff out of the barge, but the tide beat him, and flowed over the edge of the barge and it filled with water.

now he was faced with an unwinnable situation because the wet dirt weighed much more than the dry dirt, and it some of it wafted out of the boat and settled as silt on the shore approach to the island.

so he was faced with bankruptcy because it was also demanded that he dredge the spillage out of the shore approach.
he lost everything in one swipe. he did not even have the funds to get his front end loader back to the mainland so he abandoned it there.

that is ambition without due care and foresight.

That’s extremely high risk with little reward. It was extremely silly of him not to certify the maximum load the barge could handle.

Sometimes it pays off, most of the time it doesn’t.

Silly idea, but who am I to judge. At least he tried.

as far as success and ambition is concerned, the only reason i worked hard was because i am essentially lazy.

i wanted to achieve an existence where i did not have to do anything at all except indulge myself in my mental pursuits.

i got it, i am happy with it.

when i was making lot's of money (i redesigned a company after being employed as simply a software support person (someone who installs windows and stuff on new computers. i saw ways to make it more efficient. i learned a computer language that the company used (foxpro) and i saw why things were taking so long to do).

whatever....
at that time, i always paid for the entertainment of people who i was interested in talking to at a pub.

i never acceded to requests for the provision of another drink and suchlike.

after about 2 beers, i felt unable to proficiently continue my designing of mathematical structures and stuff which kept me occupied before that, and so i then put all my paperwork back in my briefcase, and if someone approached me, i would talk to them.

sometimes they were tiring, and sometimes they were stimulating.

if they were stimulating and i liked to talk to them but they had to go home because they ran out of money, i would always give them enough to stick around if they wanted to.

some girls who wanted my attention were too intense, but they were physically attractive in a stereotypical way. i did not care.

once, a girl came to my table and we were talking about imperialism, and she got more and more animated, and she started to rant about the injustices that her race has suffered.

her: you don't know anything about our suffering? let me tell you about it....

me: yeah don't bother. i'll be right.

i got up and left leaving her in whatever state she was in was not of concern to me.
____________

another girl sat briefly at my table when things were crowded, and she was stereo typically good looking, and she said a few things to me but i was not interested and continued to work on my stuff, and she went kind of crazy.

her: you know i am sought after by many guys in this pub.

me: hmmm...i'm sure...

her: you know most of them would give their right arm for someone like me to talk to them.

me: whatever...i'm busy...

her: don't ignore me!! ! you haven't even looked properly at me.

me: so you are pretty. pretty people are a dime a dozen these days, leave me alone or i will get security.

she left.

don't be a floppy eared lonely dog who shoves his snout into the groin of the first person who shows interest in you.

i do not care whether she needed to be taken down a peg or 2.

i just did not want her attention. she was a painted up tart who's mascara was flaking of her face onto the table and whatever.
even if she was truly beautiful in my mind, i still would have been too busy.

on another note, i will comment about your lamenting about your "chubby thighs".

i did not think that would bother you. it shows you want to be "sexy" yourself in a way.

but you know, the greatest of all physical gifts is the beauty of the face, and you certainly have been granted that.