There's no point

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Thank you

Ah but in real life there is awkwardness and lack of understanding of body language and stuff. I find dealing with someone I like very difficult. Or if they seem to like me. It turns into a mess.

Many of us are with you in that same boat but anyway, I am a real person saying that I like what you just described about yourself. The fact that I'm behind a keyboard right now is beside the point. Thinking of yourself as someone who can't be loved is completely untrue. There must be something in a deeper level that makes you want to feel like that.

I mean no offence, don't get me wrong, but ... in fact, you think of yourself as someone who's above average, with good culture yet you come here saying it's impossible to be noticed by men. These two thoughts don't add up. You're probably either very lonely or just trying to seek attention. Maybe both things. I'm not saying it's on purpose and maybe you really need that attention.

Try to get these things off your head and a partner will show up when you least expect. Focus on yourself, a partner comes next.

I wish you all the best.

You are right I have low self esteem.

That's a big issue. I get anxious around people and it's not my personality per se, it's how I act, which I guess a lot of people here relate to.

I think I do get noticed, but only noticed. There's no moving forward. The interpersonal intricacies are confusing and difficult to navigate. It's like 2 people trying to high 5 and missing.

I feel like I'm fed up trying to figure out what to do and I'd rather not stress about it any more.

I think that means a dead end. Because one has to make some effort with the other person or how do they know you like them? But my efforts never work sigh.

I think the work mate didn't realise I wanted him to come out for drinks with us. I only went because I though he was going. That was in a previous job to this one.

Thanks for not taking my statements in a negative way.

In defence of your mate, I should say we men in general don't get these fine subtle clues women usually think that they are giving away in order to attract their person of interest. We are absolutely clueless! I mean, that's not an autistic trait only. That's common to most men.

Sure there are some men who think that every girl is attracted to them, especially the most overconfident men really think like that. I bet this is not the kind of man you are trying to attract though, otherwise your work mate would have hit hard on you.

Plus, there are numerous reasons why a man won't attend a social gathering. Maybe he doesn't like the bunch. Maybe he's had an appointment. Maybe he would rather watch paint dry. Maybe he's had these movies downloaded overnight and is anxious to watch them. It's not all about us. This starts to make sense when we think that people in question are absolutely clueless about our feelings towards them.

Low self esteem blinds us. Makes us self-centred and self-conscious. That's an immature trait and if I can advice you on something, that's the very first thing you should eliminate in order to find a sane relationship. Reason: if you happen to find someone who can live with the fact that you think so little of yourself, this person could be just taking advantage of that weakness. He probably feeds on your misery.

If not that, people who have little self esteem in the end will spoil everything for themselves because by their internal logic, they are impossible to be loved. Once they think they can't be loved, makes no sense that the partner is still with them. So people with low self esteem put up the most negative scenes like for example, they may put up fights, alcoholic episodes, emotional blackmail, the "nobody loves me" speech... until the partner can't stand it anymore and gives up.

Consider this.

^ A hint for you:

She's not going to date anyone on the forum. All you guys see is the tip of the iceberg.

Really that's all we see of each other.

I present my nicer side as much as possible on here, with the occasional rant and argument. But I'm just as flawed as anyone. I was completely unreasonable with my ex-flatmate and I know I was. I was mean to her for no reason. I'm sorry about it, i shouldn't have been difficult and called her names. But a piece of me feels justified. That's not a good thing.

Sometimes it seems men on here present their worst side. They are polite and easy going in real life, but petty, grumpy and argumentative on here.

None of us really know each other

You're spot on hurtloam ^

I present my absolute most monstrous side on this forum.

In real life I actually often go out of my way to help people.

Why do you do that? We come here for support, not for other members to be monstrous to us. Why don't we deserve the same consideration as the people you meet face to face?

Have you run out of protest rallies to attend?
Stop finding male posts to pick on and shame.
It's obvious, and tiring and seriously friggin unhealthy.

Look, here's an easy pass. Report this post. Get some joy out of that and leave this man alone.

I understand that you don't like me. I'm OK with that. However, I have just as much right to be here as you do and I won't be denied support just because I'm a woman and I have opinions about being an autistic woman and that makes some autistic men like you uncomfortable. As long as I'm not breaking any forum rules--and I don't believe I am, correct me and report me if I'm wrong--I won't be shooed off by you. You don't have that power over me.

-Your gender isn't important to me nor does it determine how I treat you. The content of your words do and there is an undeniable thought process and agenda to your posting on WrongPlanet. Your post history pays monumental tribute to that assertion (they're targeted, motivated) and I think you'll find you are projecting your prejudices onto people like myself.
-I'd like to remind you that trying to do what you do, and figuring out ways to do it that don't break the rules is considered to be circumventing them. It's a tad creepy if you ask me, but from a moderation standpoint it seems to be dealt with differently from mod to mod. I have a problem with it, it appears they do not. So be it. But needless to say I feel it's worth pointing out.
-What makes me uncomfortable is the above. I'd rather just say it as it is.
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hurtloam, you're a good person whether you remain single or find someone who appreciates that or not.
I kinda agree about focusing energy elsewhere. Focusing too much energy on relationships can be toxic.

You can think what you like about me and my "agenda". You won't succeed in scaring me off because you don't like my opinions, though. If the mods don't have a problem with me the fact that you personally do matters little.

Actually it's a good question. Why do we get more argumentative on line?

I really don't think it has to do with gender.

We like to vent online because we aren't able to vent to people we know. It doesn't matter if strangers online don't like us. It's a free space to say what we really think.

Does that mean online we shouldn't be as careful as we'd be in person?

I think it has to do with gender, atleast partially. All over the internet you tend to see more men venting.

The reason is that it can be very risky in real life. Part of climbing the social dominance hierarchy is showing control. When you're calm and controlled other men respect you, and women want to f**k you.