Would You Date Me?

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But a 34 year old should have made some progress, don't you think?

If you do not work full time, or are in education, or have a physical disability or looking after children, most people will assume you are lazy.

This is more so once you are over 25.

This is not less so for women than for men.

If you are female and young and very pretty you will still get lots of dates, but people (including your dates) will still judge you as lazy.

If you are female and over 30 you are less likely to be questioned about why you aren't working full time than a male, until someone know you don't have kids, then they will judge you as lazy.

Nobody wants to date someone they think is lazy, unless they can afford to support them and think they are getting something worth it in return, ie someone stunning and usually younger.

I believe the being thought lazy is a much bigger problem than the actual lack of earnings (which don't help).

Being thought lazy is not the worse trait to have, however, but it is one that comes up very early in any relationship. I've never been on a date when a guy didn't comment on me working part time in some way. When younger with confusion, when older with something along the lines of 'so you just expect someone else to support you' (despite the fact that I had clearly stated that I support myself fully).

I've also been told by a previous boss that she didn't respect me because I didn't work full time. I reminded her that I was a writer on top of the 27 hrs I worked for her, she said that didn't count because I wasn't published.

I recommend something in your life that works as a counter to the false assumption of laziness. For me, my novel does help as far as most people judge, particularly since I finished it (I actually stopped working altogether to achieve this). Basically something to account for the time and effort you aren't working. Running is a good balance, if possible, because people don't associate someone who runs as lazy. And anything you do voluntarily for other people, same reason.

Or you could just explain your autistic and how that affects you.

But a 34 year old should have made some progress, don't you think?

Everyone thinks so, but it's impolite to admit it so we lie instead.

So you wouldn’t date someone who works minnwage and has no special talents?

Some maybe want a provider, but a lot including women on wp. Want a guy who makes as much as them or more. They say it’s about living the lifestyle they desire and s guy making less who doesn’t have his life together not being able to do that. They want a guy who can afford a 4 bedroom house, two new cars, and vacations to Europe few times a year. Where as I’m content with no car, staying in my town maybe going to the coast once a year. The US is very superficial and materialistic. It’s all about your status, what you own etc. people fight with each other over what kind of $1,000 phone they have.

I’ve never seen or met a woman besides few on wp who don’t care, that’s the honest truth. Out of tens of thousands of profiles I’ve seen and hundreds I’ve met. Most women don’t see wanting a guy with his life together as superficial even here in wrong planet. But a guy who wants a thin blond woman they say is very superficial, message is it’s not ok to only like certain women based on their physical form but it’s completely fine to only like certain men based on how much money they make. No they aren’t gold diggers. Thayer require them going after rich men. Honestly it’s cause everyone is raised to want middle class lifestyle, ut less then half the nation is middle class and shrinking. So how can everyone epexct to be middle class? Who will do the many service jobs required to keep society running? Those middle class people need retail works or they get utterly lost and confused on what I’d consider simple stuff. They need trash collectors, janitors,bank tellers, waiters,cooks, etc. world runs because of low paid lower class workers, it’d ground to a halt without us, but most women even those working said jobs won’t date low men, cause they desire to be middle class. I’d love to be middle class and date a cute thin small woman, not going happen. In my opinion most women are crazy in the sense they hold on to unobtainable dreams so tightly they refuse to date men who’d make them happy in all other ways besides income status.

How would I find women who don’t care about mans life being together if they don’t go online?

Why did we allow society to define life together as meaning middle class with two cars and a home? Why do we belittle 1/3 of the nation for not being middle class. On the news we here middle class this middle class that, all anyone cares about is the middle class in this country. I hate the middle class. I hate that they all that matters besides the rich. The middle class blames us poor for all their problems too all while relying on us to keep their life going. Everything they use, eat, etc is made by lower class poor people.

So i dont know but if yiu make a male account in any dating site in America you’ll find most women say at the bottom thst to message they’d yiu must have: good job, car, home.

Or their say I have my life together and you must too.
FYI I wouldn’t say someone working two jobs, so they can pay for a car and house have their life together but I too shy and respectful of them saying I can’t message them to tell them. Why do they put themselves through such crap and lose so much sleep so they can have status symbols?

If you do not work full time, or are in education, or have a physical disability or looking after children, most people will assume you are lazy.

This is more so once you are over 25.

This is not less so for women than for men.

If you are female and young and very pretty you will still get lots of dates, but people (including your dates) will still judge you as lazy.

If you are female and over 30 you are less likely to be questioned about why you aren't working full time than a male, until someone know you don't have kids, then they will judge you as lazy.

Nobody wants to date someone they think is lazy, unless they can afford to support them and think they are getting something worth it in return, ie someone stunning and usually younger.

I believe the being thought lazy is a much bigger problem than the actual lack of earnings (which don't help).

Being thought lazy is not the worse trait to have, however, but it is one that comes up very early in any relationship. I've never been on a date when a guy didn't comment on me working part time in some way. When younger with confusion, when older with something along the lines of 'so you just expect someone else to support you' (despite the fact that I had clearly stated that I support myself fully).

I've also been told by a previous boss that she didn't respect me because I didn't work full time. I reminded her that I was a writer on top of the 27 hrs I worked for her, she said that didn't count because I wasn't published.

I recommend something in your life that works as a counter to the false assumption of laziness. For me, my novel does help as far as most people judge, particularly since I finished it (I actually stopped working altogether to achieve this). Basically something to account for the time and effort you aren't working. Running is a good balance, if possible, because people don't associate someone who runs as lazy. And anything you do voluntarily for other people, same reason.

Or you could just explain your autistic and how that affects you.

Everyone thinks so, but it's impolite to admit it so we lie instead.

And obviously having a car or owning a home is not a problem. The problem is not being able to afford a car or rent.

If you can, get best education and a well paid job. There is no disadvantages in having a well paid job. Even if you still get no dates, you will have more money for yourself.

What if I can afford a car but I choose not to have one. What if I have no education beyond community college but I still have a well paid job. Am I still datable?

+1

WP in a nutshell.

honestly, I feel you're exaggerating. OK, there is a point on wanting someone more or less similar to you when it comes to money. We want to be with someone who we have things in common, and money plays a role on how we live our lives. But, the world or the US isn't a place where the majority have two cars and travel to Europe every year. And ok, maybe woman want someone who aim it because they aim it too... and it's ok, but you don't want this things and it's ok too, but you can't complain that people dream of such things. I'm sure a lot of people don't enjoy traveling or care for cars or big houses, they maybe be more rare but they exist. But it doesn't make wrong for people who care about the mainstream idea of success, and you can't obligate people to agree with you.

The blonde thin woman is a quite different thing. It doesn't envolves a lifestyle. If you are a fit person who value exercise and want to have a fit partner too, it's not superficial. If you are a white supremacist who want a blonde partner, you're racist but ok it's still not superficial. If you want a blonde thin woman just because all you care for a women to be is pretty, and you are reducing the women as a pretty thing... then, yes, you're superficial. That's ok too, but it's superficial still.

Anyway, I still believe you are focusing on the wrong ideas about dating and this sort of attitude are disturbing you to find women who is a good match to you.