30 years old and still alone

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Why do you think so?

Seriously, if you work all the time on getting all the status items you must have and think your career is extremely important, chances are you will be a lousy family person that puts work before family. Which is just one reason why "working on yourself" might not always be so good after all. Another reason is that if you buy all that PUA stuff and work to implement that, that's not very good either.

Still, the "moral of the story" is that it shouldn't be status issues, a career or physical appearance that determines if you will be a good partner or not. And if somebody think that is all there is to it, then I won't be very interested in them.

We want to see you do well. I believe you can make it.

I’m struggling with my freelance work. It seems lately I can’t even get a gig playing at a nursing home for FREE.

I would say make a habit of just saying hello and seeing if girls will just say hi back. It’s not the same as getting a coffee date any more than getting a nursing home gig will actually pay anything. But at least you’d be interacting. It beats nothing.

"Working on yourself" does not involve obtaining material items.

Instead, it involves improving your physical health, education, and social skills.

Any man can attract the attention of a woman with his "bling", but if he lacks health, is stupid/ignorant, and has no manners or 'class' at all (even less than an average 'jerk'), then he likely won't have her attention for long.

What are indicators of interest in your book?

Social status is both material things and "working on yourself". You might say the material things are rewards for being a successful person (in a way that pays you money). So, these things are linked. If they weren't, then material things would not be part of social status.



Social skills can be so many things, and I don't think many NDs cares much for the typical social skills. At least, I couldn't care less.



Now you are talking NTs again.

Whatever you need to tell yourself, buddy.

If I were to wake up as a heterosexual male, with all else unchanged, I don't think I would be able to tell if a woman was interested in me in most instances, only if she were most definately not interested in me. For example, I would take terse replies with no attempt to carry the conversation, walking away from me, and signs of distraction as not being interested in me.

A lot of men here have mentioned women giving them "dirty looks" at first glance but a lot of this might be what us women call "resting b!tch face". It is just how some women look with a neutral expression. You might just try striking up a conversation with some of these women anyway provided you can do so without being awkward. If she isn't interested it will probably become more apparent.

What are you talking about?

What "stupid and baseless assumptions," have I accused you of, ever?

If you're going to post fabrications about me, Marknis, then I'm going to ask you where you got those ideas from.

As for this topic, meh, I rolled passed 30 as a single man nearly 6 years ago. In just over a month I'll be 36 with a perfect track record of being single my entire life. It's not exactly ideal, but it's also not nearly as awful as you convince yourself it is. I don't really expect it to be very depressing for me save for momentarily here and there, and perhaps a bit more so when I turn 40, and then again at 50 etc - milestone birthdays that tend to make people reflect on their lives. Other than that, *shrug*, it is what it is and life goes on.

Oh, also, I noticed in another thread that Peacesells and a few others gave you some great advice for increasing your attractiveness to the opposite sex. I bet if you spent a little time and energy trying it out with a little action instead of keeping yourself in a state of perpetual "analysis paralysis," as you dwell on your single status, that you'd improve your chances. It seems you've spent your 20's thinking about it, and I think you'd fare better if you spend your 30's doing something about it.

Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh...

What I find most disturbing is the concept of ND-supremacy that keep cropping up. If we’re sooooo superior, why aren’t we ending up more often with folks like us? I have two things to say to that. First, finding another ND to partner with in the first place is a challenge, let alone finding one you’re actually COMPATIBLE with. Maybe we should all be more open-minded and more girls should be diagnosed. But that isn’t happening on enough of a scale for us guys to actually who’s out there. Second, it’s worth considering that ND-ND partnerships are less than ideal, that perhaps what’s best pairing with those who are understanding and love us the way we are and are capable AND WILLING to take the roll of carer. I don’t mean go out and find a new mom. I don’t mean find a slave while you act like you’re still 13. I just mean find someone who understands how to fill in those gaps while still challenging you to be better (iow, encourages you to contribute and be productive, gives you a reason to take pride in participating in the relationship).

The plain FACT is past behavior is almost always indicative of future behavior. Money/possessions are signs of independence. You are FREE to do whatever you want. You have room for a relationship. If you are struggling, you will cause your partner to struggle. Physical attractiveness is a sign of good health, that you don’t bring issues into the relationship that would lead to an early separation and all kinds of grief for a partner to clean up. What happens LATER due to circumstance is another problem, but at least you have signs that you’re off to a good start. Perhaps two people have different reason to pair and physical appearance is beside the point, but at least those two people are AWARE of what’s going on when they begin the relationship and know what to expect.

PUA stuff is somewhat rooted in psychology. Take PUA, along with ALL other relational advice (including mine), with a HUGE grain of salt.

As both the OP and GF STILL continued to bicker - the OP started this new round - despite being told not to continue, by two moderators, this thread is locked.

If you don't learn from this final advice to stop this feud, and continue to try and prolong it by blaming each other, you are both out of here next time it occurs, so please take time to consider whether you will stop or want to be banned permanently.