Will I always be told "I have a boyfriend."?

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Some guys would rather be punched by a guy thanking rejected by a female. It is obvious you are not good enough for her by the tone of her voice when she delivers that line. It translates to "how dare you ask me out!"

Not necessarily, you brushed her off- why would she do a second attempt?

Teaching somebody how to drive is not something that people take lightly. It's actually dangerous to teach someone how to drive.

I wouldn't do it---unless the "learner" was somebody very close to me.

That makes sense.

What I've seen a lot is "I have a boyfriend" doesn't necessarily mean what it literally means, nor is it 100% absolute "back off." It's a culture of game-playing that ruins it for some people who don't get how the game works. And no, I don't mean "game" in the PUA sense, but part of why "game" is such a thing with PUA is because it becomes obvious that some women are doing this whether men are conscious of it or not...or whether women themselves are conscious of it or not.

And that means "I have a boyfriend" has multiple meanings. It could mean "Not interested, but I can't SAY that because I don't know if I can trust you. So back off."

It might mean, "Not interested, PERIOD."

It might mean, "No, really...I have a boyfriend."

It might mean, "Just how hard are you willing to work to get me?"

It might mean, "I have a boyfriend, but that's not necessarily a permanent situation/I'm open to cheating."

It might mean, "My boyfriend is cheating on me/not satisfying me."

It might mean, "My boyfriend and I are fighting."

It might mean, "He's leaving me/I'm leaving him."

It might mean any number of things. If you don't pursue this woman even a little bit, you'll never know. You won't have any kind of chance. And so it's useful to take it a few steps further to see exactly what "I have a boyfriend" means. If she becomes belligerent in the slightest, she's not open to anything with you. Let it go, because no matter where she is on the "IHABF" spectrum, she's made herself clear. Anything else, she MIGHT be willing to be friends. And if you're friends and in regular contact, you have an opening to possibly something more down the road.

I would say something like, "You have a bf? GREAT! Bring him with you and I'll buy him lunch, too."

OR...

"What does your boyfriend have to do with me?"

Or...

"That's fine. I just think it's so cool we both are into ____. There's no harm in me buying you some coffee and hanging out so we can talk about _____. And you don't owe me anything afterwards!"

Or...

"Wait...did you think I was asking you out on a date? I mean, SERIOUSLY? I thought we were just friends. Friends hang out, too, y'know? Your bf has nothing to worry about from me!"

Or...

"You have a bf? Why isn't he here right now?" (although that's a 1-2-PUNCH line best saved for a later conversation)

Or...if you want to go more direct:

"You have a boyfriend? Oooookay...just how much boyfriend do you have?"

It's not so much that you are going to win the girl necessarily. It's more of a mindset that stays open to beginning a relationship from where ever you are, or where ever she is. The decision to participate in cheating or "stealing" is entirely a matter of conscience. But you aren't obligated to just let it go when someone drops the boyfriend line on you.

One thing that will defo defeat the BF-bomb is if you already know the woman well to begin with. If that's the case, you probably have already met the bf and can gauge the health of her relationship. As long as you keep regular contact with her, you'll know whether a breakup is imminent and whether you have a chance, or if she's best left alone.

It means...."I don't want you as a boyfriend. And I don't want to hurt you, or get you angry at me. It doesn't mean you're not attractive enough to find a girlfriend. The spark just isn't there for you and I."

You don't know how many girls have told me that!! !! !

It's honestly the fear of rejection that's set me back more than actually being rejected but the times I've been rejected are still painful.

Because I've been paying attention to your posts here and agree with your philosophy that interest women will go out of their way to get a guy's attention. A one-off non-committal suggestion is hardly a sign of interest.

Hmm you have a point there, if that was a one-time suggestion from her then it probably means nothing. Did she ever initiate texting with you? Did she ever come to you to talk to you? If no, then it was nothing.

I brushed off the one who is now my gf before and she still kept trying to approach me.

Usually you would notice it obviously even before any outing suggestion.

She did once or twice, and we got along well. There weren't any of those awkward, creepy silences. And she liked a few mundane photos of myself on FB (no animals or exciting events in them, just me), laughed at my sense of humour, stuff that could be interpreted as some level of interest. But she never showed anything that couldn't be passed off as general friendliness, as she's a rather friendly person.

The thing about lonely guys is we tend to read way to much into anything women do. I'm not so naive as to believe somebody being friendly is interested in me.