Someone special is back in my life a bit.

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I can't help thinking this is all linked to overall public acceptance of autism & strange identities like mine. Neither of us have fully accepted my condition(s), in fact I might be drastically behind her in that regard. I think I need to meditate more on the structure of these invisible walls rather than who built them. Blame is pointless & so is separation anxiety. I have work to do on myself & I'm OK with that. I also have to accept that "NT" is an essentially meaningless acronym that only describes a hypothetical normal person.

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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

...

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Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

The biggest threads on here right now are about love as a "deal". I don't see this as any kind of transaction. If the ideas on this forum aren't elevating your mind, disregard them.

I'm bumping my thread because I feel good about loving someone, not because inadequacies prevent me from loving her more. I'm only physically attracted to someone capable of understanding my mind. Without that understanding I'm lost. If I'm lost for now, so be it, that's not permanent either.

Chill out & appreciate each other.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Could I argue that love isn't a 'deal' but a relationship has some deal like aspects?

Love is and happens many ways and when it happens, you don't get a lot of choice in it. you get a choice in expressing it, accepting it, acting on it, and whether or not you are going to grow it though. A relationship is different though. That's something you kind of have to make a conscious choice to do or not. That's not to say there aren't plenty of people that will half-arse it.

I love you is just I love you with or without a relationship.

Relationships can happen without love, and they can fail even with love. Sometimes it is best to walk from a relationship even when there is love there. A relationship is an agreement of sorts to be dedicated to that other person, but you wouldn't want to make that agreement with someone that you know isn't going to be good for you, for instance. That's where the deal breaker or deal maker things come into play.

Some people are pretty rigid with that stuff though. So it does often look that they are saying "I couldn't have a relationship with them therefore I could never love them". Maybe they are saying that but I feel like that's kinda unreasonable and seems to lack and understanding of how love works XD

I should certainly point out that I think anyone & everyone's ideas about this stuff are worth considering. I'm a hyper-focused engineer who often doesn't do much else.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos