Marknis wrote:
People I expressed my frustrations about my chronic singlehood often told me that women in their 30’s get tired of the “bad boys” or “jerks” and will start to consider “nice guys”. However, I am 31 and this still hasn’t happened in my world. I don’t know if it’s because women just don’t see anything special in me or if they are still waiting for men to make the first move. But is it really true women grow tired of “bad boys” in their 30’s. My 20’s are behind me and they were squandered. If my 30’s go the same way, I will probably snap.
It is amazing to me how despite being a social outcast for all of elementary school and being teased terribly from first to 4th grade, somehow I slept with loads of girls. Maybe I did not know how to maintain a relationship, and maybe the hot popular girls thought I was too weird, but somehow, I figured out how to sleep with lots of girls. Now, I know some of you will criticize me for whatever reason, let me tell you this, nothing, and I mean NOTHING is as validating for a guy NT or Aspie as a young women who is willing to get naked and crawl onto your couch and do the simian side-dance with you.
The problem I had always had is the ones I wanted did not always wanted me and when I did sleep with some NT, I often found her confusing and boring and dull and tedious. The same was with male friends. I found it difficult to make sense of the friendship rules. I did have friends, but the relationships were not always satisfying.
Things have gotten better now that I am much, much, much older. I figured out all that eye contact stuff.----You know that eye contact used to really confused me. Teachers would demand eye contact but, MAN it was physically painful. Eye contact was either way too intimate or is was a challenge for aggression. Somehow, I finally figured out how to live among the NTs and find the ones that didn't find me weird.
What am I saying? Well, when I read the misery posts like the one written by the OP I want to offer him guidance and mentor him and coach him on how to get the things he wants. Yes, I am convinced I can help any above average IQ Aspie guy how to overcome what keeps him from having a girlfriend or friends in general.