05 Jun 2020, 7:36 am
05 Jun 2020, 7:38 am
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05 Jun 2020, 8:04 am
kraftiekortie wrote:
I like “Thatweirdgrrl”—but she misinterpreted what I said.
I like flirting, but not the really overt type.
I take exception when someone says men only evaluate women based on the desire to sleep with them. That’s an absolute generalization and an incorrect one. I don’t evaluate women that way. Only idiot men evaluate women that way.
I was the type of guy that was willing to wait for marriage before I made love to a woman of my dreams.
I like flirting, but not the really overt type.
I take exception when someone says men only evaluate women based on the desire to sleep with them. That’s an absolute generalization and an incorrect one. I don’t evaluate women that way. Only idiot men evaluate women that way.
I was the type of guy that was willing to wait for marriage before I made love to a woman of my dreams.
Good comment.
I'm a bit bitter from the bad experiences I've had. It's nice to hear a positive view
05 Jun 2020, 8:13 am
05 Jun 2020, 8:48 am
05 Jun 2020, 9:01 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
05 Jun 2020, 9:14 am
hurtloam wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Assuming OP is still reading this thread, I have a couple of observations. Like many people here, I don't think she adequately explained her situation. After thinking about this way too much, it would seem that she has had success attracting guys but has never gotten into a serious relationship with mutual respect. I guess she wants to know how to either a.) attract the attention of guys she's interested in but don't notice her or b.) appropriately respond to expressions of interest on the part of those who do show interest in her.
My advice would be to forget the traditional notions of "flirting" and simply use a blatantly straightforward approach. If she wants a date with somebody, she should tell the guy directly, preferably F2F but if not via some other means of direct communication. Why I say this is because, she is not a typical young woman and this sort of direct approach would be consistent with how she and the guy might routinely communicate if they became a couple. My point is that guys who respond positively and respectfully to this approach are probably her best candidates for a relationship.
One other thing. I understand this is personal, however the OP has previously indicated she is religious and has placed restrictions on her sexual behavior. It would greatly help to know a bit more detail about this. This could mean anything from refusing to engage in sexual encounters beyond kissing before her wedding night to simply refusing to have sex outside a serious relationship. The problem is that very few young men her age are going to commit to a long-term relationship that doesn't include some sort of sexually gratifying aspect, although I suspect many would be willing to forgo canonical PIV sex. In saying that, I also don't think many men would be satisfied if given the impression their lover wasn't also enjoying that aspect of the relationship. So whatever her "rules" are, I further recommend that she discuss them in a frank manner with any of her dates, preferably on their first meet-up. Again, if the guy can't handle that discussion on the first date, he's probably the wrong guy.
My advice would be to forget the traditional notions of "flirting" and simply use a blatantly straightforward approach. If she wants a date with somebody, she should tell the guy directly, preferably F2F but if not via some other means of direct communication. Why I say this is because, she is not a typical young woman and this sort of direct approach would be consistent with how she and the guy might routinely communicate if they became a couple. My point is that guys who respond positively and respectfully to this approach are probably her best candidates for a relationship.
One other thing. I understand this is personal, however the OP has previously indicated she is religious and has placed restrictions on her sexual behavior. It would greatly help to know a bit more detail about this. This could mean anything from refusing to engage in sexual encounters beyond kissing before her wedding night to simply refusing to have sex outside a serious relationship. The problem is that very few young men her age are going to commit to a long-term relationship that doesn't include some sort of sexually gratifying aspect, although I suspect many would be willing to forgo canonical PIV sex. In saying that, I also don't think many men would be satisfied if given the impression their lover wasn't also enjoying that aspect of the relationship. So whatever her "rules" are, I further recommend that she discuss them in a frank manner with any of her dates, preferably on their first meet-up. Again, if the guy can't handle that discussion on the first date, he's probably the wrong guy.
Another good comment.
Hopefully our friend comes back and we can get past the arguing.
I was in the same boat at her age.
Can we assign you as her mentor?
She really sounds much like you, attitude wise (that's a compliment, WT).
05 Jun 2020, 9:35 am
That's probably not a good idea Boo. I've not been very successful. 
What can I teach?
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,669
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
05 Jun 2020, 9:55 am
hurtloam wrote:
That's probably not a good idea Boo. I've not been very successful.
What can I teach?
What can I teach?
Not to make some past mistakes for example? If you live early 20s again what would you do?
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