Is looking for autistic women a realistic option?

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I'd like to address some of your points:

1- I only developed my current attitude after more than a decade of nothing but constant rejection from women. My attitude cannot be the cause of my problem, since it only exists as a result of the problem which predated it by several years.

2- I have known many women over the years who have found me charming and likable and who have gone out of their way to be friends and spend time with me. But all of them have always liked me only as a friend but have never felt sexually attracted to me. If it was true that my attitude is repelling women, they wouldn't want to spend time with as a friend either. As you said yourself, if I was so negative all the time none of them would want to be around me at all.

3- Of course nobody is 100% successful. But there is a huge disparity between less than 100% and my own 0% success rate.

4- I do not have access to large numbers of single women. I can't simply just choose to meet more single women. I work in education which is female-dominated field. I am surrounded by women and meet significantly more women than men regularly. But I have no control over the fact that 99% of women in the appropriate age range for me are either married or in relationships. It's the same when I go out to local events of social gatherings; everyone is taken. Of the few I encounter that are available, many are smokers, excessive drinkers, too serious about religion, etc. Andon the extremely rare occasions that I have met single women that I was interested in dating, none of them wanted to date me. and TBH, whenever someone talks about "large numbers" I feel what they mean is that I should have no standards at all and just take whoever happens to be available; doesn't matter if we have nothing in common whatsoever, doesn't matter if I do not enjoy her company in the slightest, doesn't matter if she has 37 kids from twice as many fathers, doesn't matter if she's a methhead, doesn't matter if srhe's uglier than a turd statue of Donald Trump; if she technically still has a pulse and a vagina then just take her and be grateful. Beggars can't be choosers after all, right?

4- I've already tried online dating hundreds of times. I've spent the past 13 years on Match, eHarmony, OkCupid, POF, Tinder, AdultFriendFinder, and every other dating site or app you can think of and some you probably can't. and never once have I found any success. No long-term or short-terms relationships. No casual flings. No FWBs or one night stands. Nothing. I've been ghosted or used for attention countless times, but very few were ever serious. Out of all of this, I actually met maybe 4 or 5 women in person; all of which had no further interest after meeting me once. The closest I ever came was a woman who openly told me she had no self esteem and slept with every man who gave her any attention; she gave me 2 STIs and couldn't even contract.

5- I've changed many times in many ways over the past 20 years of my life. I used to be a Muslim. That came with a lot of baggage including homophobic attitudes and very strict rules on what is and isn't proper regarding gender and sex; all which have completely changed since I left religion behind. I didn't get my drivers license or my first car until I was 30. I've changed jobs and fields a number of times; going from manufacturing to nursing to customer service to education. I've grew up in Libya and moved back to the US when I was 20, and I moved from Oklahoma to Ohio in 2015 then back in 2017. I recently returned to school and earned my masters. I've been through many changes of my world view and personal beliefs, my environment and surroundings, and my finances and living circumstances; and my situation regarding women and dating has never changed with any of that. It is clear that what is repulsing women is my disability itself, and there is nothing I can do to change that.

6- I've been attempting to learn and improve for two decades, but nothing I do ever helps at all. I'm still stuck in the same rut I've always been in no matter what I try. And time is not on my side: I am already turning 40 this year. At this rate, even I do finally crack the code in the next few years the only women I'll be able to date at that point will be grandmas.

I have a weird high pitched voice that makes everyone I talk to on the phone think I'm a woman. If I talk to someone on the phone before meeting she'll think the whole thing is just some kind of prank or scam.



I'm confused. Is your point that I should talk to women on the phone first or that I shouldn't?

I can see why you'd be confused. Sorry. No, I think speaking to people (the way we did in the old days when I had to pick up the phone and ask a girl out) is a great way to make a connection and also screen out people.

Sounds you like have a knee jerk negative reaction to that suggestion too.

I don't have a "kneejerk negative reaction" to anything. What I have is decades of life experiences trying everything that's been mentioned and failing every time regardless.

Well it seems from other posts that the OP perhaps maybe has the psychological advancement of a teenager maybe? I do not mean this as a knock against the OP at all. But it seems that he could use a woman who is also of the same advancement level. If actual teenage girls are out of the question obviously, then someone who is older but has the same advancement level.

This isn't directed at any one poster, but the OP has been through some hellish experiences. It would be more helpful to remember that before offering advice.

some things are simply unfixable, lack of interpersonal compatibility is unfixable inasmuch as mixing oil with water is futile. some people on the spectrum simply cannot mask or assimilate to save their own lives.

So so so very true.

There is a strength to Dorkseid which even Dorkseid might not know about.

Somehow, amid all that's going on with him, he succeeded in obtaining a Masters Degree.

i envy [nicely ] his raw intelligence and strength of mind/stability of his self-identity. i should do as well as he.

That's because school is the only thing I've ever been good at. But eventually I have to go out into the world and find a job and pay my loans. And without any of the skills needed to network and find jobs and get hired all the degrees in the world are useless. I don't even know what kind of job I want let alone where to even start looking.

And all the degrees in the world won't do anything to make me any less alone and unwanted.

I totally agree. It is common amongst us to focus and sometimes become obsessed on what can't be done, the difficulties. I believe in you Dorkseid, there are things you can do that you don't know yet. Getting a Masters is very impressive. You are articulate in written communication. You have strengths.

I have a Master’s degree in MIS and a focused diploma in programming.

So what?

It’s basically because of your gender, you are a male, a male is often given this advice because the society subconsciously knows (evolutionary, collective subconsciousness) that we men often have very little choice in picking our partners, we usually pick whoever accepts us in our lifetime (who are very few unless we are a top alpha) and hope they turn out sane enough.

Tinder stats showed that men swipe right on most women hoping to be liked back, while women only swipe 14% of men. It’s not because men find all women attractive, no, but because they realized it’s the the only way to maximize their chance to get a date, if you have zero date you can never have a partner. And yes, real life is similar when it comes to first impressions.

That same advice is never given to women btw, because everyone knows that women have tons of options to choose from (unless she has serious conditions or too old). Women often complain about no finding a suitable person but not about not finding someone willing to date them.

Back in October, I got set up on a "blind date" with an autistic woman who went to my college. Long story short, it went pretty bad. She was your stereotypical sorority girl who's idea of fun was drinking, partying, and hooking up with chads at a bar, and she was also into drugs as well. Meanwhile, i'm a more introverted guy who doesn't do drugs, has never been drunk in his life, and would rather stay at home and play video games or play sports with a group of friends. We also had nothing in common other than the fact that we were both autistic. We wound up hating each other and blocking one another after 2 months of talking. Looking back, I don't think she was a bad person, we were just a horrible match for each other and had nothing in common in terms of lifestyle or values.



What i'm trying to get across to you OP is that just because a girl is autistic doesn't mean you two will actually have anything in common and be a good match for each other so I would say don't just limit yourself to autistic women.

It's even worse if you're short, fat, ugly, or a minority. Basically the further away you look from the ideal man of your culture, the harder dating will be for you (on average).

Although plenty of unattractive men date although it's likely for one the below reasons:

1. They lower their standards and go for women at their level or below.
2. They have above average charisma/social intelligence which makes up for their below average appearance.
3. They get really lucky.