Physical attractiveness — a rant

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I wonder if attention to physical appearance is more important to those on the spectrum or if I'm just weird. I'm terribly lonely. I absolutely hate it. I also know other guys who I can safely say are objectively better looking than I am. They're dating or married to women I don't find attractive at all and would never approach or try to interact with with due to their looks despite my loneliness. Granted, if I was to interact with these women in a totally platonic way for a while and gradually get to know them in a non-romantic sense, an attraction may develop and would spur my interest in a romantic relationship.

I just think it's odd that other guys would be willing to pursue and date them, but I would not.

Maybe people should think about their daughters or sisters before posting such nonsense if caring about the women on WP isn’t enough:

Maybe I should write a book titled: Handjobs and Blowjobs: An Ugly Woman's Guidebook. It'll be jam-packed with sound advice, such as: "Bite hard. It'll drive him wild!"

Or perhaps even better: Self-Pleasure for Dummies: A Step-by-Step Guide for Shallow, Cynical Men.

I'm full of great ideas.

I'm OK, You're Not OK: But I'll Do You Anyway

Gaslighting Girls: Five Easy Ways to Lure the Ugly Ones to Bed

How to Use People and Influence Your Own Ego

Hop Inside: Creative Uses for Cloth Body Bags (Scissors Included)

In the Dark: Blind Sex with Chicks You Don't Desire

"Chapter One: Break Your Glasses"
"Chapter Two: Break Your Lightbulbs"
"Chapter Three: Break Her Heart"

^ Maybe we should consider coauthoring.



How To Make Him Want You: Help for Unattractive Women
Farting, burping, yawning, and expressing concern about his mother’s health during sex will all be covered extensively. As with Handjobs and Blowjobs: An Ugly Woman's Guidebook, all strategies have been tried and tested by the author herself. Mouth-watering recipes with an onion and garlic base can be found in the appendix.

A Minimalist’s Guide to Love
Who needs Shakespeare when love can be reduced to a good shag?

In this forum there are consistently new threads being started where autistic men describe their loneliness and their lack of success with women.

Often they go on to describe their wants and needs from a relationship without any apparent consideration for how the other person in this relationship may feel. Not that they don't care, even, just they literally haven't even considered it. They don't ever seem to think about what they can bring to a relationship, just how they themselves would benefit from being in one.

They talk about attractiveness as if it were an objectively measurable thing, like height. They're usually talking exclusively about the way a woman looks, not the many other things that make up a persons attractiveness. They talk about their 'standards' for women who they would consider dating, excluding loads of women based on appearance alone. And often it sounds like they are just talking about sex and don't really understand what a relationship is.

And I think, because they are so focused on aesthetics when deciding who they are attracted to, they find it very difficult to imagine that anyone could be attracted to them because they think of themselves as ugly.

The result is that they end up talking about women in a way that's really insulting. Because they think about women in a way that's insulting.

But if you suggest to them that if they changed their way of thinking about women they might find women are more interested in them, you hit a brick wall.

I actually feel bad for these guys. I do know what it's like to be lonely and have a sex urge that isn't getting what it's insisting it needs. It's a horrible feeling. I also understand why the women get angry. They're right to be angry.

I think a lot of the messaging all men get around sex and relationships is terrible. There's a common belief that men are more interested in sex, women are more interested in relationships. I think a lot of that is BS. I don't think men are very honest with themselves and each other about what they want from women. I've known a few shaggers, who sleep with anything that will have them and leave a trail of misery behind them. Beyond the bravado of their reputation, they don't seem like very happy people. I honestly believe that most men are just as interested in the emotional part of the relationship as the women, we're just taught that we're not. And believing it excuses a lot of bad behaviour which suits men just fine.

Whether it's that autistic men are reading these cues from culture at large and taking it more literally than NT men, I don't know. It may be that they genuinely don't feel the need for the rest of the relationship but see it as the price you pay for sex, but that's really problematic because people, usually women, are going to get hurt.

I don't know how you change these guy's minds. You can explain, try to help them see another point of view, but you can't make them accept it, and they're generally really resistant to accepting it.

I've noticed this as well thou sometimes the lonely guys are majorly hung up on some other superficial criteria instead of looks but their behavior is the same. I've tried to explain that lots of times to various guys on here & I usually feel like they are completely refusing to consider it

I do think that guys being considered physically attractive can make a difference with them getting initial interest from women online or offline but I don't think guys physical attractiveness is much of a factor after a bit of conversation.

I never really thought of myself as attractive physically but I never really thought my physical attractiveness was a big reason with why I struggled so much to get romantic relationships. I chalked a lot of it up to being disabled, being on the spectrum, & living in a more intolerant area. I did upload pix on dating sites but & had various people read my profile who thought it was written very well but I never had any interest on dating sites. I did have a woman hit on me 1ce when I got my hair cut at the mall. She asked if I had a girlfriend when I walked in & I said Yes because I was in my 2nd relationship at the time. The woman then said D@mn Me & her didn't really chat, she was focused on visiting with the woman cutting my hair after. My girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks after that I kinda wondered what woulda happened if she had broken up with me a few weeks before that experience at the mall. I'm sure nothing woulda came from it due to my social awkwardness, anxiety, & being disabled. I never gotten any other interest offline thou besides one of my cousin's roommates who was party girl type that felt sorry for me being a virgin. I'm not really sure how we got on that conversation. We were watching TV together after my cousin went to bed & her friend had been drinking a bit & we got to talking about whatever we were watching. I turned her down because I was in my 1st relationship at the time. Me & my 1st gf broke up a while after that If I was single I might of accepted the roommate's offer & then I woulda wanted a relationship after & gotten rejected & left feeling like cr@p; good time

What worked with me for getting my current relationship was posting about things aLOT online but instead of being mostly focused on why I wanted a partner & what I required in a partner, I talked a lot about what I had to offer a partner. I believe I have a bit of good qualities that the right type of person will appreciate if I'm given a real chance. Like I tend to be accepting of others with so-called issues & problems. I've been through a bit of sh!t in life & I like using my experiences as way of helping others when I can. I'm loyal to a fault & will do my best to try & make a relationship work unless I feel like I'm not the only one trying. Plus I'm funny & I'm very affectionate with the women I love. I also did not really care about looks(personality is aLOT more important) & I tried to make sure my standards were reasonable for someone with my issues & problems.

I would say that men actually have a better deal in terms of not being judged based solely on looks.

Men are more likely to judge in such a way, in my opinion, particularly in the way of women.

If a man has a good sense of humour, empathy, a sympathetic disposition, is relatable, kind and so on, a man can find a woman without having great or even average looks.

Particularly if the man respects those same personality traits in a woman and doesn't judge a a woman's looks too harshly.

Obviously this is just a post that concerns heterosexual relations.

I agree. In my case, the physical attractiveness of women is extremely important. It's more important than anything else in the world.

Furthermore, I find nearly all women to be highly physically attractive.
Sorry ladies, I would enjoy having wild and tumultuous sex with all of you, but I'm strictly monogamous and I'm not single, and my lady is physically attractive to a fantastic degree. I just can't get enough of her (there aren't enough hours in the day).

Yeah that looks bad, but was he recommending that women do that? Or was he just saying that it's possible to do that, without recommending it?
His meaning isn't entirely clear. He should clarify it.

I'd like to add that I pretty much only care about the physical attractiveness of a woman and nothing else.

I also have synesthesia, which causes me to see very intelligent women as being tremendously physically attractive and big-breasted. Beautiful, just beautiful.

It looks like a recommendation to me.

Then he should burn in hell for all eternity! No no, hell is too good for him. Let's banish him to... the USA! Oh yeah, that'll really make him regret his recommendation.

Meh.

No one on here is going to follow it anyway. Most of us have too much self respect to want a man like that.

Ugly NT man who has personality and charm will have more success than a better looking man with Autism. The Autistic man will not be able to deal with social situations or know if someone is into him or not. Autism is a hell hole that a person can not escape.

I don’t mind being autistic. Many autistic men and women on here have had success with relationships.

there are still worse things than being a reject. i knew of a fella that was so attractive that he had to peel women off of him, and a a result he was an unwilling father times 5, the child support rendered him homeless.