How to tell if a girl is interested in you

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See PLA's comment.

I've really had to broaden the scope of my definitions over the last year or so. I think that for people like us, hugging someone we are so strongly attracted to is the same thing. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that "sex" for me starts the second I make initial eye contact. I get the same emotional charge from kissing as I do from intercourse. Actually, truth be told, sometimes more. If a woman can't kiss I know she's not worth my time. The most intimate and rewarding thing for me is reading her. Every woman likes different things, but there are methods for discovering them.

I like to touch the small of her back very lightly, like I'm tickling her really slowly. Some girls don't care, others instantly lose their minds, others fall somewhere in between. What I do, is listen to her breathe - sharp intakes, gasps, sighs, holding their breath etc., watch for goosebumps, blushing (nothing like a red glowing neck and chest for feedback!) feel her shivers, EYE CONTACT, basically learn what makes her tick. I usually build this data set over a few days, starting with a back rub, a socially acceptable "in" for body contact. Since I'm a sneaky bastard, I refrain from making this overtly sexual, which helps her be relaxed and trusting when I touch her. You're taking her tension and anxiety and turning it into anticipation and desire. If you really pay attention, you can learn what they like before even THEY know it. Not to get too lewd, but its like she's masturbating with your body. I love that happily confused look on their faces when they say, "you know just where to touch me..." It's not magic, its just following her cues.

So, for me, sex lasts about a week. Being pushy about intercourse ruins everything, so by the end of the week the anticipation has built so much that she won't wait another second. Even your absences can be sexual if you leave on a high note with her wanting more. The more you give the more you get. My satisfaction doesn't come from MY orgasm, it comes from hers.



This is why I keep telling people on this board to try and trust their own instincts. Yours are working just fine. See the following:

Pathology of Love

Using functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki of University College in London showed that the same areas of the brain are active when abusing drugs and when in love. The prefrontal cortex - hyperactive in depressed patients - is inactive when besotted. How can this be reconciled with the low levels of serotonin that are the telltale sign of both depression and infatuation - is not known.

Other MRI studies, conducted in 2006-7 by Dr. Lucy Brown, a professor in the department of neurology and neuroscience at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, and her colleagues, revealed that the caudate and the ventral tegmental, brain areas involved in cravings (e.g., for food) and the secretion of dopamine, are lit up in subjects who view photos of their loved ones. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that affects pleasure and motivation. It causes a sensation akin to a substance-induced high.

On August 14, 2007, the New Scientist News Service gave the details of a study originally published in the Journal of Adolescent Health earlier that year. Serge Brand of the Psychiatric University Clinics in Basel, Switzerland, and his colleagues interviewed 113 teenagers (17-year old), 65 of whom reported having fallen in love recently.

The conclusion? The love-struck adolescents slept less, acted more compulsively more often, had "lots of ideas and creative energy", and were more likely to engage in risky behavior, such as reckless driving.

"'We were able to demonstrate that adolescents in early-stage intense romantic love did not differ from patients during a hypomanic stage,' say the researchers. This leads them to conclude that intense romantic love in teenagers is a 'psychopathologically prominent stage'".

But is it erotic lust or is it love that brings about these cerebral upheavals?

As distinct from love, lust is brought on by surges of sex hormones, such as testosterone and estrogen. These induce an indiscriminate scramble for physical gratification. In the brain, the hypothalamus (controls hunger, thirst, and other primordial drives) and the amygdala (the locus of arousal) become active. Attraction transpires once a more-or-less appropriate object is found (with the right body language and speed and tone of voice) and results in a panoply of sleep and eating disorders.



Good call. Every feeling like that has a source, we just have to be strong enough to backtrace it. It's hard and takes a long time, I know. I'm not done and won't be for years.

Now, here is a big clue: you don't say "middle school" for no reason. From what you've written, I can glean certain key pieces of information and create a rough working model. Middle school sucks for aspie girls because of puberty: every girl they know piles on and rips them to shreds. My sister had gotten in with a group of girls and became "friends" with them. One day she was at "Amy", the "leader's" house with four other girls. Amy picks up the phone and calls the guy in their class that all the girls are in love with. They had told her that he liked her, and she was just giddy out of her mind. She's handed the phone, and the guy says, "You're fat and ugly."

They had this planned out for days. She had to wait there for hours to get a ride home.

She wasn't fat and she wasn't ugly. She was gorgeous. And a threat.

I've seen this over and over again, the most beautiful, intelligent, caring and decent girls are broken this way. Compliments are taken as lies, trust is a non-starter, self-loathing is almost total. The world is turned on its head.



Perhaps you're just hysterical?



Ever think that from their perspective its too good to be true? If you're really good looking, that's a possibility; they might think you're teasing them or being mean. That's actually a good test of character, now that I think of it.

If you still want to play it coy, I recommend that you use double-entendres to display that you are thinking of a)sex and b)them in the same context. All that "is she/isn't she" stuff plays on us huge. Finally, the best way to show affection in an all-around "safe" way, is to initiate handholding. It's non-sexual, but carries a lot of meaning and weight, and if other people see you its not like you're giving a lapdance, right? I still have no idea about the handholding protocols, when I should let go, am I breaking her bones, that kind of stuff, so if a girl wants to hold my hand if we're in public, it says to me that she wants people to know we're a couple. Don't say anything, just take his hand as if its the most natural thing in the world, and if he is surprised or looks at you funny, just look back and smile an "it's okay" smile. And if you can master the "Am I being bad?" look, well, damn.

If you want a great lesson in how to bend men to your will, go hang out at a Hooters. A friend of mine worked there (a guy, as a cook) so I used to hang out there sometimes (for the record I can't stand strip clubs because I can see straight through the artifice of the whole thing. Like Hooters, it's just women fooling idiots into giving them money for nothing.)

See, Hooters is sexy but not sexy. Its a "family" restaurant, see? Hooters are OWLS, and those are OWL EYES, silly! They all have a routine and a role to play; there will be one girl at the entrance with a hula hoop, which is at once sexy but childishly innocent, coming out with a chirpy "hi guys!" You're brought to your table by another girl who sits down with you, tells you her name and makes a big show of pointing to the nametag on her chest. There's a few minutes of chitchat, during which she'll light your cigarettes for you, call you "hon" while touching your arm, and just before she's gone to get your beer (no double Jameson's OTR for me there, only beer) says, "Now, if there's anything I can get for you, just let me know," and drops a wink.

Ninety-five percent of men think these girls are in love with them. "Uhhhhhhhhh.....here, take my wallet!"

Now, you don't have to go there if it makes you uncomfortable, so the next step down is a restaurant or bar where all the waitresses are good looking. Shooter girls are a good one to watch too. They do the same thing, intentionally giving out false body language cues for attraction. They get drunk idiots to consistently hand them 5 dollar tips all night on crap drinks they didn't want in the first place in exchange for a little arm-touching...



Yeah, this is why it irks me when guys say women are shallow. It may appear that way on the surface, but once you actually bother to do some analysis you can see that it's for the survival of the species.



Yeah, I've known a few girls like you; it's like an insult, right? Like calling you incompetent. When you've had a life of nothing but invalidation, it's "normal" to feel that way. We're born problem solvers, its where we excel, and for someone to criticize the ONE THING you can do better than anyone you know, it's hard to take it as it's intended. It is something to watch, though. Certain (abusive narcissists) will take it as a licence to control you, and when you protest can say stuff like, "well I guess you don't appreciate ANYTHING I do, blah blah blah." There's a difference between him lightening your load, and him grabbing things away from you "so you don't screw it up".

One of my biggest problems was always trying to come up with fixes ASAP. Women would get super-mad, none of my ideas were any good, a zillion dumass reasons why nothing would work EVER!, but it seemed like I had to do something. I didn't realize that when she said she had a problem, she didn't want an immediate fix, she wanted someone to know that she felt bad, to acknowledge the reality of her emotions, emotions which seemed crazy and purposeless to both of us. What she needed was someone to hold her and say, "aww, I know you feel bad right now, that's okay, I've gotcha now." Translation: your problems matter.

I noticed after a while that I got that way too. All I wanted was someone to acknowledge that I was hurting, that it was okay to process my emotions. When someone says that you "shouldn't feel bad" or "you should do X" what they are saying is "shut up, what do I care? You don't matter. You're a nuisance. I'm only helping you so you'll leave me alone."

So, here's how you tell "good" help from "bad" help - after they act, are you feeling better or worse about things? When we're irked or irritated by someone and we don't know why, they're either AS or an A-hole.



Have you ever questioned the need for compromise? See how these little things just sort of slip in there like sand at the beach? See how that sneaky dichotomy is set up in your mind? It's physical and emotional intimacy VERSUS self-preservation - you can either stay alive or be happy.

I know its weird, but it feels like you're in danger, right, like you're going to die. Do not underestimate the effects of the early shaming and terror brought on you by religion. We are taught not only that we are going to DIE if we sin, but that once dead there will be eternal torment and hellfire. That isn't something you just snap out of because someone points it out, either. It becomes a fundamental part of your psychology (it CAN be changed, with effort and time) and many attitudes and beliefs are built around it, and in time so many layers have been added that we no longer recognize the nucleus of the problem, like a pearl forming around a grain of sand.

When sin is used as a moral club with which adults control children, what is going on is an implicit death threat. I mean that literally. It is a death threat. Who cares if "being bad" carries no consequences? It's a much different scenario if your "bad" actions will cause you to burn forever in the Stygian pits of hell.

Once that is installed in your brain, it acts like a Trojan horse downloader, picking "bad acts" to avoid out of the ether, and you begin anticipating consequences at an exponential rate.

This is what they want. They want you to be self-policing, they want you to be filled to the brim with moral terror each time you think of this so-called sin and the joy, the immense joy it gives you, and curse yourself and hate yourself for wanting what is evil, and pretty soon you begin to think that you ARE evil, and it seems the only ways out are either giving in and BEING EVIL, or denying and stamping on and crushing your feelings to the point where something as good and beautiful and life-affirming as the act of love is fused with horror and moral terror.

You're allowed to be a little bit stressed about this, I'd say. I am. Just because I can decode people doesn't mean I'm not a massive mess.

My mom would pull stuff like shoot up from the couch if there was kissing on TV, radiating hyperkinetic disgust that we all had to share in, staring us down in turn. She always looked so ugly. "Why does there always have to be this SMUT ruining everything?" Translation: kissing is disgusting and evil and if you do it or watch it happen you are disgusting and evil too, and I will hate you forever and abandon you if you don't start parroting this bulls**t back to me."

My first "real" girlfriend was a 4'10" satanist with an upside down cross hanging between her....

The problem with people like you and me is that we can't even conceive of what evil is, or that a "bad person" could exist. It's quite literally unthinkable. It HAS to be something else, it HAS to be our fault. When someone uses that type of abuse on us, it is with full knowledge of what they are doing. They know good and well that they are assaulting you. They know that they are trying to break your sanity, to control and manipulate you for their own crass, petty personal gain.

A dog that chases its tail doesn't bite its master.

Oh, and if you're looking for a reading assignment, I recommend Job: A Comedy of Justice by my main man, Robert A. Heinlein. This was pretty affirming and therapeutic to me, as well as pure entertainment. "Stranger in a Strange Land" (oh, how could we relate? is probably his best and most iconoclastic work as far as rational sexual liberation goes, but this book bears a bit more on shedding the religious nonsense. A great passage about the situation the protagonist Alex faces:

* Hypotheses:

a) Something preposterous has happened to the world around me, or
b) Something preposterous has happened to Alex Hergensheimer's mind; he should be locked up and sedated.

I could not think of a third hypothesis; those two seemed to cover all bases. The second hypothesis I need not waste time on. If, I were raising snakes in my hat, eventually other people would notice and come around with a straitjacket and put me in a nice padded room.
So let's assume that I am sane (or nearly so; being a little bit crazy is helpful). If I am okay, then the world is out of joint. Let's take stock.

I'm an aspie woman too and am not scared of spiders and other creepy crawlies (well not very much), If I see a spider inside the house, I just put a jar over it and take it outside.

When I told guys I couldn't do something they nearly always just said I had to do it myself and suck it up. Any wonder I don't often ask for help? TheChosenOne is one of the rare exceptions; he cares enough to help.

I thought in high school I had zilch personality, was unattractive, and not too smart. It later turned out I was attractive and smart but was seen as some kind of threat and brought down to some lower level. Decades later, I am still fighting that conditioning.

I'm glad you stopped seeing abusers.

I spent some time looking through the picture posts, and I have yet to see an ugly woman. To the contrary, you're all absurdly sexy. Add that to smarts and lack of "princess" attitude...damn, no wonder you guys had to be stomped on.

You know, I think you're onto something there. Could it be that we were treated badly because we were also seen as a threat to guys? It used to annoy me no end when women who acted bitchy and greedy (ie. wanted their guy to buy them all kinds of expensive presents) got the nice boyfriends when people like me were passed over.

No. And yes.

Again, if you see that the dynamic is women v women, and men v men, it will make more sense.

Women compete with each other to get the best men, and men do the same with each other for women. "Battle of the sexes" is a ret*d false dichotomy.

Men do not want to lose status by being with "inferior" women, aka those who are put down by other women.

A male's attractiveness depends on his social value among both men and women. If that falls, he is not as attractive any more. Not pretty, but understandable.

They may be attracted to you, but won't move on their desires in order that they may keep their high status, and thus get more women overall.

Again, my sister had this problem, but she was always being put down by her "friends". I always told her that once she graduates high school, and is no longer in that weird artificial social structure that she would find that guys would be all over her. She wouldn't believe me, but she was proven right this year when she left Toronto for British Columbia, when all the guys that she always wanted were all over her. ( she has a bit of a cowboy fetish, and just about lost it at a rodeo in Wyoming.)

See, once she was taken out of that context, she became more attractive.

Basically, if you live in a small town or keep the same friends and social circle as you had in high school, you will still be in that ugly ret*d social dynamic, and thus will be seen as a social (and therefore reproductive) risk.

Check out that video I posted - http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt48774.html

Uhhhhhhhhhh, not really. If an attractive women is scorned by other women, men will still wanna get with her. But thats certainly not the case with men. If a high status man were to "fall" in terms of social rank and lose favor amongst the guys then women will not want to be with him.I personally never paid attention to the social status of the women Ive been interested in and turns out that Im not alone.

I think you misunderstood me. I agree that they find her attractive, it's just too risky. If nobody were to find out, then that's another story.

I remember an old joke from highschool:

Q:What's the similarity between fat girls and mopeds?
A:They're fun to ride until your friends find out

See, WOMEN create the fashion standards, the rules, the problems. In the hunter-gatherer times, there was a finite amount of resources to be divided between a group of 50-250 people, and that means that it is a zero-sum game, where one person's win is another's loss.

The way this applies to women in a polygamous society is that resources given to a lower status woman literally takes food out of her and her childrens' mouths. So, they sabotage the reproductive chances of other women. More importantly, women will form cliques, alliances between enemies, as a way of overpowering the Alpha females, a mutual threat.

Men do the same, but differently.

It is a big competition between sets of genes, not people. We are just handy vehicles for DNA.

When queen bees hatch, they kill off the other unhatched females who would compete for resources.

In wolf packs, only the Alpha pair mate.

The reason I had brought up the al Uzzah cult is BECAUSE it was destroyed, not by Mohammed, but by his wife.

His wife was the one that wanted all the hot chicks covered in tents. What kind of man invents a religion like that?

What kind of man invents a religion where priests cannot marry?

The real God of Catholicism is not the trinity, but THE VIRGIN MARY.

Matriarchies are intrinsically violent, sexist hellholes. Middle eastern countries may seem like patriarchies, but I say: the hand that rocks the cradle is the hands that rules the world. You don't end up with such seething hatred of women by mere chance, it takes systematic abuse.

Japan has one of the lowest sex crime rates in the world, but their age of consent is 12, it is okay for older men to date teenage girls, pornographic comic books are both common and socially acceptable for public viewing, female submission is the norm, and there is no taboo on "rape" fantasies; to the contrary, they're famous for it.

Countries that wallow in their sexual desires and refuse to be ashamed of them are generally healthier.

Men are puppets, stooges, hired goons caught up in the Machiavellian power games of women. In truth, most men are afraid of women, as they should be. They have power that is quite incomprehensible to us, and they do not hesitate to use it.

We do not need to be conscious of our motivations for them to hold sway over us, either. Humans don't reproduce, GENES do.

I've got to agree with Kurtz on this one. I saw it in high school with my friends and experienced it myself. My group of friends was pretty much hated by our entire class because we were "weird". I only once dated a guy from my high school and he was in our clique. I had no trouble attracting guys outside of school, but anytime I heard about a guy from school liking me, I automatically assumed the person was playing a joke on me.

Two of my best friends were absolutely beautiful and guys practically fell over them when we all went out. At school, it was a completely different matter. One of these girls was actually physically abused on several occasions by both girls and guys.

I hate to jump on the NT hating bandwagon in any way, but it never ceases to amaze me how some people can be such sheeple.

Isn't it sort of self-defining that a country that legalizes what is elsewhere defined as a sex crime will have a lower sex crime rate? And if female submission is the norm, who is going to report sex crimes?

I've not been to Japan but I've lived in Guatemala, a country where it is not legal for men to date 12 year old girls, but it is common practice anyhow. As you describe, female submission is the norm, pornography is found inside mainstream newspapers, men sleep around as they please, there are prostitutes in every bar ... They also have supposedly low rates of sex crimes, but in my experience what actually goes on is women are raped with some frequency but don't report those crimes, because they're oppressed and frightened. During my stay there, the current crime trend was that girls who managed to displease gang members (by declining sexual advances, reporting rapes, etc.) were hunted down and beheaded.

I think you're romanticizing something that isn't so great of a system.

That isn't the first time I've heard something along those lines. A neighbor I used to have mentioned that one of his sisters was raped when they were traveling through Guatemala from Ecuador to the states. Supposedly his dad retaliated in a very brutal manner, but who knows what really happened...

Exactly. When it is illegal to smoke pot, you have to go and associate with criminals to get it (if you don't grow it yourself).

When it is considered perverted to be attracted to postpubescent women who have been scientifically proven to have the same decision making capacities as older women, but are below a certain arbitrary age which is decided upon by the ever-popular pull-it-out-of-your-bum method, only truly dangerous committed deviants will engage in said behaviour.

In Canada, the age of consent is 14. Almost nobody up here knows this, because we are all stupid and get all our info from American TV which is actually watchable and so never bother to know anything about our own ret*d country so we think she has to be eighteen. I don't need angry dads swinging pickaxe handles at my face while trying to cite precedent from a law text. If I had sex with a woman that young I'd be run out of town on a rail.

By "sex crime" I meant rape, attempted rape, etc, not a "crime" which is defined into existence by jealous women. They call it "statutory rape" because it is not rape.

And with Guatamala, you'll see that they have a generally high crime rate, so I would say that's the problem. Japan has VERY low crime rate, maybe because they focus on public restitution and shame as punishments, rather than locking someone away in a cage so they come out a monster who has learned nothing other than "don't get caught again", and leaving the victim on their own to sue for damages at their own expense. Or get killed for squealing.

Now, one thing I need to clarify, as this confuses a lot of of people - submission is not oppression. When you go to the dentist and get your teeth drilled, you are submitting to him, but you are the patient, and you have the final say, you cut the checks, you are in control. When you hire a lawyer and he tells you not to talk to the cops, you are not being oppressed into silence, you are submitting for your own good, and you are glad to do it.

Rape: the woman's ultimate weapon. Women don't attack outright unless they have a large advantage over their victims. What they do is use their intuitive grasp of social dynamics to manipulate someone into attacking someone else.

I have no idea of the prevalence of unreported rape from a statistical or objectively verifiable viewpoint. But, many if not most rape accusations are false, there is no "date rape drug" besides alcohol overconsumption, and regret and revenge are the most common reasons for filing charges. That is why I save my emails - it has come in handy to have a bunch of lewd, date-stamped messages from a girl who gets caught out by her boyfriend claiming you tried to rape her. If I raped you, would you write me a filthy letter the next day? I think not.

http://www.newswithviews.com/Sacks/glenn12.htm

According to a 1996 Department of Justice Report, of the roughly 10,000 sexual assault cases analyzed with DNA evidence over the previous seven years, 2,000 excluded the primary suspect, and another 2,000 were inconclusive. The report notes that these figures mirror an informal National Institute of Justice survey of private laboratories, and suggests that there exists "some strong, underlying systemic problems that generate erroneous accusations and convictions."

Women cry rape because they know that everyone will flock to their side without questioning her. Women cry rape because MEN HATE RAPE MORE THAN ANYTHING! They know that men won't stop and ask questions, they'll just gang-stomp the "offender" into the dirt.

Oh yeah, almost half of the rape accusations filed are recanted because the cops found flaws in their stories.

In the Duke Lacrosse case the prosecutor, Mike Nifong, knew that the "victims" were lying, but went ahead anyways because for the government, success is measured by conviction rate, not accurate convictions. He knew that a bunch of rich white boys gangraping a poor black girl would make him a media saint. Thanks to rape shield laws, aka the Wipe Your Ass on the Bill of Rights Act, women who routinely charge men with rape, then take them to civil court as a source of income are given free reign to bring down those in higher standing; their past false claims of rape are not admissable as evidence. How can you have a presumption of innocence and CALL HER A VICTIM BEFORE THE TRIAL EVEN STARTS?

There's nothing like championing the good causes for personal and political gain. Evil women and corrupt authorities find their interests intersect at all the right places. That dick Gonzales put a dragnet on the internet because "we have to stop child porn", even though hardly any new stuff is ever made and that which is extant is circa 1990 or older, and the only people who trade it are cops in different cities thinking they're catching molestors. Never mind that when he was governor of Texas he ignored one of the worst case of institutional child rape to advance his own career despite years of pleading from the public. Hey, can't piss off the prison-industrial complex, can we?

But that's okay, because it's for the children. Won't somebody think of the chiiiiiiiiildren?

About ten years ago a bunch of gradeschool students started coming forward about the weird, socially awkward computer teacher at an Ottawa school had been touching some of them inappropriately, and more and more kids started coming out. This guy was pilloried in the news, people on call-in shows were screaming for his head on a platter.

A week later the cops called a press conference. He was completely innocent. He had done nothing. A group of seven and eight year old girls had conspired against him for God knows what reasons.

In high school a girl that called herself my girlfriend (I never kissed her, called her, hung out with her, she was effed and I didn't understand anything at that point, a cork in the ocean...) started telling stories about one of out teachers, for whom she had a weird hate-on. She hated French people a lot, and she despised all the male French teachers especially. I was nominally "in on it" since I was her "boyfriend" (again, she just talked at me and I didn't have to do anything back), and she kept trying to get the other girls in on it. Her thing was telling people that he had told a group of girls, including her, that they had to go into a site trailer (the school was having a massive reno at the time) and take their clothes off.

What really happened was that he told them they could go inside the trailer to change into their boots from their expensive gym shoes they didn't want wrecked when we had to go outside for an impromptu broomball game in the middle of winter (broomball is a Canadian game like hockey, except with brooms. And a ball. We are ret*d.)

She stopped trying to get him in crap after about a week, because everyone loved this guy. It was weird, his mother had just died, his mother in law just had a brain aneurysm, and his daughter had just gotten a messy compound fracture in her leg. She smelled weakness on him.

I used to get weird letters from her at random intervals which I never answered. They stopped a few years ago, but they would be strange, multicolored collages of random photos and Airwalk ads, whole sentences made with cut-out letters like a ransom note...

Stranger rape almost never happens.

Rape is usually committed by a family member or a close friend.

THESE are the rapes which are not reported, because the matriarch was the one that set it up!

Women of a certain makeup will have children with the express intent of creating a mini-me, a tenth the size, but pure distilled evil. They create a tiny person they can control and abuse the same way THEY were controlled and abused. These are usually teachers, nurses, cops, customs agensts, (more commonly lawyers now that women don't have to actually get through school on merit) and other "unimpeachable" authority figures, including the "supermom" who just LOOOOVES her kid so much and micromanages them to death.

Social workers, battered women's shelter volunteers, special ed teachers, school bus drivers, old age home workers...wherever you can control and dominate a woman weaker than they, you will find them.

These women bring abusers into their child's life on purpose. They know what to look for, and set it all up. Then once something happens, the girl is told by her mother that it was her fault in one way or another.

Sometimes they will have a son and use him like a hired thug, a son they coerce into sexual acts. They send the son after the daughter like an attack dog, committing acts and omissions as need be. When the daughter complains, the mother calls her a temptress, a whore, it must be because of something she did.

One family I knew had a son that tortured and raped his sisters for years. The mother would call the daughters temptresses and whores, refusing to take them to the hospital for bruises and broken bones, lest her "golden-haired boy" fall into trouble. When he grew up, he was kicked off the police force for his alcoholism.

One girl told me that when she was nine her father started touching her in ways she didn't like, that felt wrong, she was so confused and scared to even say this to her mother. Her mother told her, "Why don't you just tell him to stop?"

This in no way excuses the men for what they have done. This is no excuse for what happened in Guatemala.

Do you know the amount of work it takes to turn a man into a sadistic rapist? Do you know the absolute bone-chilling horror that the mere thought of rape induces in me? Make no mistake, I am violent. But never ever once against the helpless.

Never once.

In a society run by men, there would be no rape.

The women abusers, the rapist's puppetmasters, they have been getting away with this for years and years and years. They have done no time, served no punishment, faced neither scorn nor reprimand. Their crimes are so premeditated that the victims have yet to be born.

Every false claim of rape makes each true one harder to believe.

A true rape victim deserves every bit of compassion and care and love and healing and protection and vengeance, yes vengeance there is to get. A true rape victim should be cradled and cherished and comforted.

And vindicated.

I must say, I am no expert on matriarchal social-mechanics, but I am inclined to agree with all the rest of what you say.

And I don't like to be a "nod-along".

Well, I've been gone for a while, and it looks like this post has boomed since then. I'm glad Kurtz has been able to help you guys out while I've been away, and now that I'm back, I'll be glad to keep helping anyone who needs it .

It looks like this post got a little off topic. Does anyone have any questions about anything they've run into on the topic of determining how interested a girl is?

Ah the patented "but you're my friend" ploy. Myself and my sister were both victims of that in middle school. On the surface the boys treated me like an equal but because of my AS I couldn't tell when they were joking or when they really meant it. So it was really easy for them to pull the wool over my eyes and "have a good time".

And then of course if you weren't "with the times" you got ridiculed for that too. "You don't look at porn and you're 12-13 you must be gay!" or "you don't know who that sports team/player is you must be ret*d" or my favorite "you don't dress like me, talk like me, or act like me and my friends so you must be weird/abnormal" Though if you asked me who got treated worse I'd tell you it wasn't me it was my sister.

Men can be cruel to one another but women are far crueler to each other. Mostly through the examples you've given Kurtz. Its kinda sad don't ya think? That people have to drag other people down to feel secure. Strip away our fancy technology, our material items, and everything else and at our very core we're still animals. Nothing has changed, the game of life remains the same albeit its far more "sophisticated" if thats even the word I'm looking for. Though of course ask anyone that and or point it out to them and they'll think you're nuts since we can't still be animals because we're "above" them.

Don't even get me started on the United States Legal system and court system. I'll just shorten my thoughts by saying its F**ked up. That people can abuse the system for all its worth and that stuff like this shouldn't be happening. And for all the REAL rape victims out there it wasn't your fault and don't you ever think that.

Oh c'mon. The only way there would be no rape in a society run by men is if the term's meaning changed. Men and women have very little difference in terms of psychological variables includingAnd, any difference in traits was likely because of social constraints.

People are more or less the same, and the majority of differences are either perceived, or brought about due to social assumptions. If ya think females are psychologically different, they are because ya think they are and this can color yer perception. But that doesn't mean they are in any quantifiable way. Bad people are bad people, good people are good people, and above all, people are just people. The main differences between males and females are anatomical.