Alcohole, peer pessure and big mistakes in love

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i_Am_andaJoy
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11 Dec 2007, 6:17 pm

well said-- sarah, alex, and mark

and LPP, there are plenty of useless emotions.

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Lonelybonesey
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11 Dec 2007, 7:29 pm

My mistake- giving into peer pressure and drinking irresponsible
My remedy- remove myself from these situations because avoidance is the best defence especially when you have poor impulse control

Now how do i deal with the feelings?
Ashamed- I deserve punishment i better isolate myself from the world i dont deserve friends after my behaviour

I deserve this shame i agree. But i must admit its not doing anything for me its making me feel worse.
Shame is a great tool for dieting i swear! Iv lost 2 kilos since friday night i guess i dont deserve nourishment either. Than theres

Paranoia- People are talking about me where do i hide? Why did that person stare at me do they know something? My friends hate me cause there not talking to me but can i blame them?

Iv made another mistake i acually believed i was a good person before but is it true that feeling upset and wanting reassurance such a depicable thing to do?

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alex
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11 Dec 2007, 7:58 pm

you're still a good person. you should not feel bad about what you did. It's not that big a deal. Seriously.

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Brian003
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11 Dec 2007, 10:39 pm

alex wrote:

i_Am_andaJoy wrote:

gwenevyn wrote:

This begs the question. Effective at achieving what end?

EXACTLY!

answer?

I honestly don't care what the answer to that question is since I don't respect the opinions of those who attempt to bully vulnerable members.

If anything that is a result of my personality.

I don't necessarily see it a bullying; because I don't try to bully other people and (As far as I can remember) I never have.

It is more likely due to my argumentative nature. To me; arguing and talking are basically the same thing. In fact, sometimes I can't even tell the difference between the two.

shadexiii
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11 Dec 2007, 10:50 pm

Brian003 wrote:

If anything that is a result of my personality.

That's not all that viable of an excuse.

Brian003 wrote:

I don't necessarily see it a bullying; because I don't try to bully other people and (As far as I can remember) I never have.

A rose by any other name.

Lonelybonesey
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11 Dec 2007, 10:51 pm

Quote:

I know you wanted me to understand what i did was wrong. The irony is i already knew it. i know your not a bully cause you did what you thought was right. Its Ok seriously.

Quote:

arguing and talking are basically the same thing

That is very bad communication through. talking in a non confrontive mannor is a less deterimental way of getting your message across and you will find people will respect and respond more kindly back.

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Brian003
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11 Dec 2007, 10:58 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:

Yes, I think honesty is much more effective , I don't agree with Brian's "She deserves that" or something like that but I do agree with him about the honesty issue. A true parent is the one who tells you honestly when you did wrong or when you did right , just imagine that it's your daughter/son who drank liters and went drunk with some friends and fell asleep in a public place and then she told you that she feels ashamed about all this, what would you tell her/him? "oh it's ok my dear , don't feel ashamed"???? Any responsible parent would tell her/him instead: "You must feel ashamed,glad to see you unharmed but don't ever repeat that again!" or a less emotional version "You must feel ashamed, don't ever repeat that!! !"

If I was a father I would take it one step further and place them at fault.

I know that many people will disagree with my way of thinking, but I feel that they should already know that what they did was wrong and I shouldn't have to tell them not to repeat the action again.

Objectivity- But then again; who am I to judge what they should or shouldn't be doing? If they are adults, then they should be able to make their own decisions and they shouldn't need my help or my compassion(Pretending that this would exist).

So; if they wouldn't have seen anything wrong with it then who am I to judge whether or not their action was wrong? That would be being self-righteous since that would be saying "You cannot make your own decisions and you must concur to the choices I have set out for you."

That is the problem with all problems; their is always a counter argument regardless of whether or not an action may seem morally right or wrong.

Lonelybonesey
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11 Dec 2007, 11:02 pm

Quote:

Quote:
If anything that is a result of my personality.

I don't necessarily see it a bullying; because I don't try to bully other people and (As far as I can remember) I never have.

It is more likely due to my argumentative nature. To me; arguing and talking are basically the same thing. In fact, sometimes I can't even tell the difference between the two.

I sincerly hope you don't become a farther i dont think taliking being the same as arguing is the right way of communicating. There would always be fights in your house and your children would learn the way to solve problems is trough conflict!

and when have you ever shown compassion its just you did something wrong your an adult shame on you. I am 19 yes but i have been delayed in my emotional muturity.

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Brian003
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11 Dec 2007, 11:11 pm

shadexiii wrote:

Brian003 wrote:

At the end of the day their will always be 100 people who tell you that you made a mistake and one that will shove it right in your face. You can go on and hate that one person as much as you want; but in the end they are the only one who is really helping you anyway.

This couldn't be more incorrect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you do, you should learn from it, not beat yourself up over it for a lengthy period of time. You encouraged the latter more than the former, while others encouraged the learning part above all else. So just how much did you help again?

Brian003 wrote:

Well; I've never meant anyone in my entire life who has a stronger mind than I do.

The emperor has no clothes.

The second that you listen to the person that shoves it in your face is the second that you get over it.

Denying the problem or the person who keeps on reminding you of the problem is delaying the inevitable reality that will happen when you decide to come to terms and face it.

If you sit there and beat yourself up about what you did then you are not getting over it. Your are just making it worst.

Theres no possible way that you are going to agree with me(Just look at the last sentence you posted and how you choose to quote what I posted) but facing the problem directly is always the fastest solution.

Lonelybonesey
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11 Dec 2007, 11:16 pm

so in other words your telling me to get over it big adult cry baby

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shadexiii
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11 Dec 2007, 11:18 pm

Brian003 wrote:

Listening to the person that shoves it in your face will likely cause one to get even more down over it. So...your argument doesn't really do all that much.

If anything, your "methods" could...make it worse. It isn't always the sole responsibility of the other party involved.

Brian003 wrote:

Theres no possible way that you are going to agree with me(Just look at the last sentence you posted and how you choose to quote what I posted) but facing the problem directly is always the fastest solution.

Why would I need to look at it? I posted it.

You also don't seem to grasp that facing the problem directly doesn't have to mean facing the problem in the same manner you find to be best. How is learning from one's mistakes not facing the problem directly?

This all seems to be little more than an effort to justify your abrasive nature, like when you said it was due to your personality.

Brian003
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11 Dec 2007, 11:24 pm

Lonelybonesey wrote:

so in other words your telling me to get over it big adult cry baby

That wasn't my intent; I pretty much assumed that Shadexiii also likes to argue and he always seems to come up out of the shadows and hit me in the back. I reason that must be why he calls himself "shade."

This definitely isn't the first time he has done it either. I should be more cautious in dealing with the shadow creatures.

Disregarding all that nonsense; it looks like you got over your problem. I'm glad that you are over it(Being honest; no sarcasm).

Lonelybonesey
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11 Dec 2007, 11:34 pm

Quote:

Disregarding all that nonsense; it looks like you got over your problem. I'm glad that you are over it(Being honest; no sarcasm).

no not over it but im glad you are happy to welcome this outcome

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shadexiii
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11 Dec 2007, 11:36 pm

Brian003 wrote:

No, I just think your views and ideas on this subject could do a lot more harm than good. I'm not the only one, but I thought that was pretty apparent by this point.

Hitting you in the back? Hardly. I've only worked with what you've provided.

Brian003 wrote:

This definitely isn't the first time he has done it either. I should be more cautious in dealing with the shadow creatures.

Isn't the best way to deal with something to deal with it directly? I thought you had said that...

Strange, how you would take the time to comment to someone else about what I've said. That seems rather indirect.

Brian003
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11 Dec 2007, 11:37 pm

shadexiii wrote:

Listening to the person that shoves it in your face will likely cause one to get even more down over it. So...your argument doesn't really do all that much.

That is speaking from personal experience; but my experiences don't really seem to matter very much to you anyway. I guess arguing with the shadow legion over this point is a means to an end.

shadexiii wrote:

If anything, your "methods" could...make it worse. It isn't always the sole responsibility of the other party involved.

Of course they could, but so could yours. By not being direct with people you won't always help them solve problems.

shadexiii wrote:

If you have faced the problem directly and won why exactly would you seek help from other people? That either means you didn't win or you felt that you have not fully beat the demon.

shadexiii wrote:

This all seems to be little more than an effort to justify your abrasive nature, like when you said it was due to your personality.

And quoting everything I write and saying "You are wrong!" seems to be the way of the warrior. Honestly, you win.

Lonelybonesey
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11 Dec 2007, 11:39 pm

lets not argue anymore :cry:

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