When's the last time you went on a date?

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last friday.

Around 1,8 years - it was nice, i liked her and she liked me
but i never do what woman seem to expect men to do as
soon as they get to know them, so she thought i wasn`t
interessted and moved on. After that i gave up. Every
relationship i`ve been in started with a girl picking me up,
i`ve never picked up anyone in my life. Now i`m never out
anymore so its pretty hopeless. I respect them and treat them
nice. To bad many want the bullshitartist that threat them like
crap, guess they`re too used to it or something. You get no where
by being a gentleman these days. My best and longest relationship
started with a girl grabbing me and saying "you`re mine!" So easy,
so spectacular, who was i to say no. That was a little like winning the
lottery, only better.

Never dated before, personally I've never had much faith in women romantically before. But hey, you're putting yourself out there, and if certain women aren't interested, that's just there preference. If you keep trying, you'll strike gold one of these times.

A little over four years ago, or maybe three...

Never.

Living in Colorado Springs meant that by the time I had reached the maturity level of 16-17 year old, I was very closed off because of being constantly attacked backstabbed for my opinions. As a result, I can not trust a vast majority (but not quite all) of conservatives, let alone develop a relationship with one. Libertarians are okay though! I do have to admit it hurts when you see so many other people around you that are with someone they fell in love with and you're alone. But when (and maybe if) the aspie find that person who is right for them in all ways, they will be one the best people you can find.

October 2006

Yesterday. We went out to shoot for a while, then went on a long drive in the convertible to nowhere, then for a short walk by the canyon near my house. This was our second date.

When a girl thinks that's an awesome date, I know I've found a good one. If I follow LPPs definition, pretty soon I might not be able to call these dates anymore.

Very good! Hearing that always brings me hope most of us, if we try, can find someone. I just have to look very hard for that cute, unusually forgiving lady who isn't taken.

Yeah. I wouldn't have said it myself, but there are girls out there who want a nice guy and are willing to work with us.

In order to avoid any unpleasant surprises, I told her in advance about my AS and that she might have to make certain hints more obvious if she finds I'm not picking up on them. She seems more than willing to work with that.

It's probably not usually a good idea to tell a girl about your AS right off, but this fine lady has a personality that made me feel comfortable doing so.

Yeah. The girl, if she likes you, will know you are just a little bit on the eccentic side, to say the least. They will accept that, and the AS portion can be told about later. But before I even consider a relationship with a lady, I need to get rid of the anger against conservatives I have right now, considering the fact that when I see a red elephant, my blood boils.

My last date was 2 and a half years ago, when I was barely eighteen, undiagnosed and wandering around in a haze of total confusion about my sexuality and about being an Aspie.
I met the guy (who I will refer to as The Jerkoff, largely because if you omit one F, that was his surname)on the top deck of a bus one evening after work and I clearly remember telling him in a candid way that he shouldn't eat McDonalds (he was munching a burger) as the hygine standards were lax.
We got talking (though awkwardly on my part) and through some MIRACLE, I got his number.

Now, at the time this happened, I was in Art College and had struck up a friendship with a fellow student named Ant.
He was a fellow nerd and we had more in common but as he lived many miles away and worked a very demaning job, the only way we could communicate was via text-messaging on the phone.
This turned into about six months of text flirting leading into explicity steamy text sex but whenever I suggested we go ona REAL date, he'd use work as an excuse and blow me off.

The one real date we had, we went to a pub in town and had a quiet drink. Afterwards, he walked me to the bus shelter and he asked if he could "meet me".
Well, at the time I didn't know what he meant. I assumed he meant for us to become a proper girlfriend/boyfriend couple but apparently, I was wrong.

To "meet" someone, in Dublin slang is to engage in French tongue kissing with gratituous boob groping.

I was completly unprepared for it as before all this, I'd never even held hands with a boy so for me to be sitting at a bus stop with a guy shoving his tongue down my throat, his glasses smushing into my face and his hand up my top, it was a terrifying experiance.
The only thing I could do was smack his hand away and pull back. I laughed it off saying I didn't want to rush things and he apologized but in hindsight, I think I put him off because I wasn't offering it up on a plate.

After that one date, we went back to text-sex but he grew distent and unresponsive.
As a result of low self esteem and other issues to due with abandonment, I freaked out and became clingy which culminated in him asking me out on a date only to to have him pull a raincheck SECONDS before I arrived at the meeting point.

We fell out after that.

Naturally, I was crestfallen so I phoned up The Jerkoff and asked him out for a date.
I was running on hormones and angry, which may explain the lack of awkwardness.

Anyhoo, after a quick pint in our local, we ended up in a nearby field where we made out under the stars and he felt me up. This went on for about a week until, teenage hormones combined with a morbid desperation to "pop the cherry" before I was twenty going into overdrive, I wound up losing my virginity to him in the very same field, abiet very briefly.

It was awkward, painful and he was completly insensitive to the fact that I was a virgin. He kept urging me to be "the top" and contort myself into fiddly positions while he gave no consideration to my own pleasure.

I stayed with him for about anoher six weeks on and off out of loneliness, during which we had reletively mediocre sex a further four times which resulted in a terrifying pregnacy scare.

Thankfully, it was a false alarm but it gave me a rude awakening. He'd become condescending and patronising and scoffed at my claims that I couldn't help being socially awkward and introverted. He made me feel so cheap and dirty and after I saw how nasty he got when he thought I'd "trapped him with a baby", I just couldn't cope with him anymore.

He dumped me shortly afterwards and hooked up with an old aquintance of mine from high school.
Amazingly, they're still together though how she puts up with him is beyond me.

After that episode, I suffered a horrifying depressive episode combined with a broken heart (as well as several other very important but unrelated stressful factors) whih culminated in an overnight stay in a psychward and a trip to an evangelical condescending theraphist.

Two years on, I'm still seething at the thought of the little b*****d but it's not because he broke my heart.
It's because I never got a chance to tell him how muh I venomanthly hate him for putting me through that level of stress.

If I never saw him again in my entire life, it would be too soon.

Subsequently, because I'm so terrified that this episode will repeat itself, I'd sworn off dating for as long as I could stand.

Nowadays, I feel strong enough to handle rejection but the same time, I worry that I might come across as aloof and cold because the fear of being hurt again prevents me from being open and trusting.
I'm getting better each day, little by little but the fear hasn't fully left me yet.

One thing's for certain, though.

If I ever saw The Jerkoff in the street, I would not hesitate for a second to kicking his head in.

That's horrible! He obviously it not much of man, this Jerkof dude. A true man would not take advantage of any women, physically or mentally, and would think of manipulating a woman's emotions. I hope that the pain is better now, and eventually, karma will bite in the butt.

In relation to my problem, where should I post for advice. It has to do with all relationships, not just romantic.

Thanks, Delta. The pain is better now but I do have days where I get very down about the whole thing and days where I just want to rip his throat out. It's made difficult by the fact that he only lives five minutes away from where I live though I've only seen him out and about once or twice in the last two years.

The last time, he came right up to me and said, as though we were still aquinted: "Maaaan, I'm so tired. I hate work. I hate my job. Long hours are so laaaaame." Basically, he thought he could go on whining to me about why he hates everything.

I just stared at him blankly then carried on walking. It was at a busy traffic light crossing so I should've just shoved him into oncoming traffic and left it at that... >_> ;;

As for posting about relationships in general, I'm no expert but I'd say you'd be fine posting either here in the Love&Dating forum or in the Adult Life Discussion forum.
If you want a little more privacy, there's also the Members Only forum.

Thanks for clarifying this Shastania. I think I'll do a post at the Social Skills and Making Friends forum. Come over and read it. Just keep hopeful about the future, not all males are weasels (I apologize to the animal in the Mustelidae family).

About 3 or 4 months ago

Spent two weeks in Atlanta recently... probably doesn't count, but it should.


M.