Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

Page 52 of 100 [ 1585 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55 ... 100  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,803
Location: the island of defective toy santas

28 Nov 2018, 9:15 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Aspie19828 wrote:
Single men get nothing from the government and have to pay to support single mothers and couple with children living it up on off hard working unwanted single guys.


Because single guys can't afford condoms?

I think he might've just made a slap at down under's tax and welfare system.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

28 Nov 2018, 9:18 pm

auntblabby wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Aspie19828 wrote:
Single men get nothing from the government and have to pay to support single mothers and couple with children living it up on off hard working unwanted single guys.


Because single guys can't afford condoms?

I think he might've just made a slap at down under's tax and welfare system.


(Sorry, I'm a bit testy today).


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Aspie19828
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 336

28 Nov 2018, 9:53 pm

The problem incels have isn't sex. No amount of sex workers will cure their issues. There are plenty of guys that have had sex with lots of sex workers and women still do not want to date them. Lonely and socially awkward guys are unattractive.

They're angry because they're socially rejected - you can't buy your way out of that with infinity sex workers. They're especially angry because it seems so arbitrary: There are guys just as ugly who get laid. There are guys just as poor who get laid. There are guys who are bigger jerks that get laid. How do you explain to these guys why they aren't getting the validation they want when it seems like people doing the same things are getting validated? The anger is fueled by that; it's only barely about sex at all, and certainly not really about sex workers.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

28 Nov 2018, 10:03 pm

Aspie19828 wrote:
The problem incels have isn't sex. No amount of sex workers will cure their issues. There are plenty of guys that have had sex with lots of sex workers and women still do not want to date them. Lonely and socially awkward guys are unattractive.

They're angry because they're socially rejected - you can't buy your way out of that with infinity sex workers. They're especially angry because it seems so arbitrary: There are guys just as ugly who get laid. There are guys just as poor who get laid. There are guys who are bigger jerks that get laid. How do you explain to these guys why they aren't getting the validation they want when it seems like people doing the same things are getting validated? The anger is fueled by that; it's only barely about sex at all, and certainly not really about sex workers.


Do you appreciate that women are socially rejected too, and especially aspie women who are uncomfortable with the standards set by other women? Not only do many women feel lonely and rejected, but they stand the chance of being raped, being branded as sluts, or becoming pregnant if they meet the wrong person? If women are very successful they are considered intimidating or overly-feminist (whatever that is). If they aren't overly successful they are ridiculed by other women and they risk being manipulated by partners (male / female) who exploit their vulnerability.

I'm not saying it's worse for women, but rather that both sexes experience what you describe.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


AspE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,114

28 Nov 2018, 10:08 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Aspie19828 wrote:
The problem incels have isn't sex. No amount of sex workers will cure their issues. There are plenty of guys that have had sex with lots of sex workers and women still do not want to date them. Lonely and socially awkward guys are unattractive.

They're angry because they're socially rejected - you can't buy your way out of that with infinity sex workers. They're especially angry because it seems so arbitrary: There are guys just as ugly who get laid. There are guys just as poor who get laid. There are guys who are bigger jerks that get laid. How do you explain to these guys why they aren't getting the validation they want when it seems like people doing the same things are getting validated? The anger is fueled by that; it's only barely about sex at all, and certainly not really about sex workers.


Do you appreciate that women are socially rejected too, and especially aspie women who are uncomfortable with the standards set by other women? Not only do many women feel lonely and rejected, but they stand the chance of being raped, being branded as sluts, or becoming pregnant if they meet the wrong person? If women are very successful they are considered intimidating or overly-feminist (whatever that is). If they aren't overly successful they are ridiculed by other women and they risk being manipulated by partners (male / female) who exploit their vulnerability.

I'm not saying it's worse for women, but rather that both sexes experience what you describe.

You can be as lonely and rejected as you want, you still won't be an incel. They constitute an on-line community of misogynistic a-holes who think they are entitled to love and sex without doing any work for it whatsoever.



Aspie19828
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 336

28 Nov 2018, 10:20 pm

AspE wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Aspie19828 wrote:
The problem incels have isn't sex. No amount of sex workers will cure their issues. There are plenty of guys that have had sex with lots of sex workers and women still do not want to date them. Lonely and socially awkward guys are unattractive.

They're angry because they're socially rejected - you can't buy your way out of that with infinity sex workers. They're especially angry because it seems so arbitrary: There are guys just as ugly who get laid. There are guys just as poor who get laid. There are guys who are bigger jerks that get laid. How do you explain to these guys why they aren't getting the validation they want when it seems like people doing the same things are getting validated? The anger is fueled by that; it's only barely about sex at all, and certainly not really about sex workers.


Do you appreciate that women are socially rejected too, and especially aspie women who are uncomfortable with the standards set by other women? Not only do many women feel lonely and rejected, but they stand the chance of being raped, being branded as sluts, or becoming pregnant if they meet the wrong person? If women are very successful they are considered intimidating or overly-feminist (whatever that is). If they aren't overly successful they are ridiculed by other women and they risk being manipulated by partners (male / female) who exploit their vulnerability.

I'm not saying it's worse for women, but rather that both sexes experience what you describe.

You can be as lonely and rejected as you want, you still won't be an incel. They constitute an on-line community of misogynistic a-holes who think they are entitled to love and sex without doing any work for it whatsoever.


There are plenty of successful guys that are not Autistic and for some bizarre unique reasons of their own they fail to connect with women. There are plenty of normal guys out there that can not get dates and spend their time playing sports and drinking with their mates. Not everyone is going to be successful in the dating world regardless if they are male or female. There are plenty of normal guys that have the inability to connect with women despite being successful and sociable.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

28 Nov 2018, 10:29 pm

AspE wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Aspie19828 wrote:
The problem incels have isn't sex. No amount of sex workers will cure their issues. There are plenty of guys that have had sex with lots of sex workers and women still do not want to date them. Lonely and socially awkward guys are unattractive.

They're angry because they're socially rejected - you can't buy your way out of that with infinity sex workers. They're especially angry because it seems so arbitrary: There are guys just as ugly who get laid. There are guys just as poor who get laid. There are guys who are bigger jerks that get laid. How do you explain to these guys why they aren't getting the validation they want when it seems like people doing the same things are getting validated? The anger is fueled by that; it's only barely about sex at all, and certainly not really about sex workers.


Do you appreciate that women are socially rejected too, and especially aspie women who are uncomfortable with the standards set by other women? Not only do many women feel lonely and rejected, but they stand the chance of being raped, being branded as sluts, or becoming pregnant if they meet the wrong person? If women are very successful they are considered intimidating or overly-feminist (whatever that is). If they aren't overly successful they are ridiculed by other women and they risk being manipulated by partners (male / female) who exploit their vulnerability.

I'm not saying it's worse for women, but rather that both sexes experience what you describe.

You can be as lonely and rejected as you want, you still won't be an incel. They constitute an on-line community of misogynistic a-holes who think they are entitled to love and sex without doing any work for it whatsoever.


I didn't even know the word Incel or the concept of its philosophy until I joined WP. (I don't follow politics at all).
Let's just say I was horrified to learn. You're right; I would never in my wildest dreams be one, nor can I understand it.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


AspE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,114

28 Nov 2018, 10:35 pm

Aspie19828 wrote:
There are plenty of successful guys that are not Autistic and for some bizarre unique reasons of their own they fail to connect with women. There are plenty of normal guys out there that can not get dates and spend their time playing sports and drinking with their mates. Not everyone is going to be successful in the dating world regardless if they are male or female. There are plenty of normal guys that have the inability to connect with women despite being successful and sociable.

The dating world you describe is a status game and has nothing to do with finding love. You say people fail to connect with "women" not "a woman", meaning you are only considered successful in some social circle if you connect with more than one. You say people can't "get dates". This is meaningless. You only need to impress one person, connect with someone you like; cultivate, however awkwardly, a relationship. It takes time and effort.

Similarly, I believe self-identified incels want the status of a partner without effort or even frankly the desire for an actual connection with a human being. In this sense, they want to fix a broken ego, not their hearts.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

28 Nov 2018, 10:37 pm

AspE wrote:
Aspie19828 wrote:
There are plenty of successful guys that are not Autistic and for some bizarre unique reasons of their own they fail to connect with women. There are plenty of normal guys out there that can not get dates and spend their time playing sports and drinking with their mates. Not everyone is going to be successful in the dating world regardless if they are male or female. There are plenty of normal guys that have the inability to connect with women despite being successful and sociable.

The dating world you describe is a status game and has nothing to do with finding love. You say people fail to connect with "women" not "a woman", meaning you are only considered successful in some social circle if you connect with more than one. You say people can't "get dates". This is meaningless. You only need to impress one person, connect with someone you like; cultivate, however awkwardly, a relationship. It takes time and effort.

Similarly, I believe self-identified incels want the status of a partner without effort or even frankly the desire for an actual connection with a human being. In this sense, they want to fix a broken ego, not their hearts.


Brilliant ^ :heart:


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


Aspie19828
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 336

28 Nov 2018, 10:52 pm

Guys that were rejected by women during their 20s never become successful at dating in their 30s or 40s. High school/college years predict future success in life in regards to dating. Success leads to more success. Failure only leads to more failure. I am sick of those fraudulent gurus online that claim making improvements can turn things around, it is a scam and spreads false hope. It is like the 7 minute work outs to perfect abs or another get rich quick scheme that never works.



AspE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,114

28 Nov 2018, 11:01 pm

Aspie19828 wrote:
Guys that were rejected by women during their 20s never become successful at dating in their 30s or 40s. High school/college years predict future success in life in regards to dating. Success leads to more success. Failure only leads to more failure. I am sick of those fraudulent gurus online that claim making improvements can turn things around, it is a scam and spreads false hope. It is like the 7 minute work outs to perfect abs or another get rich quick scheme that never works.

There's no special technique to being a good person. Women that can see you are a good person will want to be with you. Young people may be more superficial, but eventually, this matters less and less. Just don't let things bother you if you are presently alone.



cberg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Dec 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,183
Location: A swiftly tilting planet

28 Nov 2018, 11:04 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
AspE wrote:
Aspie19828 wrote:
There are plenty of successful guys that are not Autistic and for some bizarre unique reasons of their own they fail to connect with women. There are plenty of normal guys out there that can not get dates and spend their time playing sports and drinking with their mates. Not everyone is going to be successful in the dating world regardless if they are male or female. There are plenty of normal guys that have the inability to connect with women despite being successful and sociable.

The dating world you describe is a status game and has nothing to do with finding love. You say people fail to connect with "women" not "a woman", meaning you are only considered successful in some social circle if you connect with more than one. You say people can't "get dates". This is meaningless. You only need to impress one person, connect with someone you like; cultivate, however awkwardly, a relationship. It takes time and effort.

Similarly, I believe self-identified incels want the status of a partner without effort or even frankly the desire for an actual connection with a human being. In this sense, they want to fix a broken ego, not their hearts.


Brilliant ^ :heart:


Yeah, I'd prefer the time & effort any day over someone I only met because of some database.


_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos :mrgreen:


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,160
Location: Adelaide, Australia

29 Nov 2018, 12:14 am

Aspie19828 wrote:
Guys that were rejected by women during their 20s never become successful at dating in their 30s or 40s.

Yes I did.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Aspie19828
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 336

29 Nov 2018, 12:59 am

Social acceptance is everything, being socially rejected destroys many people's lives. There are lots of guy out there in the same position as me in their 30s and 40s and were rejected by society and will continue to be rejected by society because nothing changes. Most of us work hard as wage slaves in various jobs and it does not matter what changes we make, nothing ever changes. It is just the bad set of cards that we have been dealt and it is hard struggling through life being constantly rejected by society. An outlier may get lucky and things turn around, but that is a needle in the haystack and is unlikely to happen to most guys that have been rejected in the past.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,160
Location: Adelaide, Australia

29 Nov 2018, 1:30 am

Aspie19828 wrote:
Single men get nothing from the government and have to pay to support single mothers andz couple with children living it up on off hard working unwanted single guys.
I imagine incels wouldn't have to to worry about paying child support.

Believe me that child support payments aren't as much as you'd be paying to raise a child if you were still actively parenting.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Aspie19828
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 336

29 Nov 2018, 1:42 am

Social maladjustment: there are people who for various reasons (such as a phobia or just lack of social skills) aren’t able to express their attraction to others, or can’t do it in a way that’s appealing enough to meet with any success. They may also have some more intractable disadvantages on the dating scene (such as a disability, or not having conventionally attractive facial or body proportions, or low social status for reasons outside their control, or living in a country with a very skewed gender ratio); in some cases these could leave someone perpetually single even if they do everything right. But more often, the sufferer is burdened with psychological barriers to dating (including body dysmorphia, i.e. the person believes they are incredibly ugly or deformed when they actually look normal).