Bigotry against involuntarily celibate men

Page 55 of 100 [ 1585 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58 ... 100  Next

magnetowasright
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2018
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 195
Location: USA

29 Nov 2018, 1:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I do understand the trauma of what you went through. Obviously, I feel bad for what you went through.

I don't mean to minimize what you went through.

In reality, though, it is never hopeless. Many people do rise up from having such things happen to them. it's a documented fact.

I'll give you one such person: Elie Wiesel. He was an inmate in a concentration camp. Those were places where various ethnic groups were placed to do manual labor, and were also places where people were gassed to death. He rose from that experience to be one of the greatest writers of our generation.

If I do a little research, I could give you many more examples.

One has to acknowledge what one went through. And others do, too. I have to acknowledge it, and to respect it.

But....nothing is ever "hopeless."


Others who have risen have had something to work with. Family, friends, or some kind of financial resource. I have absolutely nothing to work with. You can't simply point to anecdotes and claim the same will happen for everybody.

I know I'll probably catch flack from this, but after the Nazi were defeated, inmates who survived in the concentration camps were given all kinds of assistance. Heck, they were given an ENTIRE F***ING COUNTRY! I'm don't register on anyone's radar to receive any help from the outside world. As far as society is concerned, I'm just a "privileged" white male and it's my own fault if I can't make it.



Last edited by magnetowasright on 29 Nov 2018, 1:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

magnetowasright
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2018
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 195
Location: USA

29 Nov 2018, 1:36 pm

Fnord wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
I was beaten by my father. I was molested and raped multiple times as a child. As an adult, I was in an abusive relationship with a physically disabled woman who isolated me from any social circle outside of her friends and family and often told me about how other women find me repulsive. She gaslighted.

I had gone back to Libya (where my family lives) to find a job after college because the economy was terrible. I was forced to leave due to visa complications without any money or anywhere to go. And when I was at my lowest point she and her friends ganged up on me and called me a worthless lazy bum. She went around spreading lies, saying that I abused her and cheated on her. And everyone believed her lies while nobody believed me when I told the truth. That was 10 years ago, and since then I have struggled to maintain employment and have even been homeless at least seven different times. I have not had a girlfriend at any time during all these years, have had no support from my family who all still live in Libya, no social circle and very few friends. I owe over 65K in student loan debt with no way to pay it.

My hopelessness is not an "ideology", it is my reality.
Now I feel chastised. :(

Except for the sexual assault, the part about your ex-wife being disabled (mine was taking anti-psychotic medications, however), and the events of your last 10 years, your history and mine run parallel.

I'm sorry that I added to your grief.

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ‬


I'm sorry. I didn't mean to chastise anybody. I just feel frustrated an I get tired of having to explain my whole life over and over.

She wasn't my ex-wife. We never were married. Thank goodness for small favors I suppose.

kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel like you are a strong person.

Are you in therapy at this moment, Magneto?

It's not going to be easy. But your situation is not hopeless.

If you have student loan debt, and don't have a job, you can "defer" the debt. This means you don't have to pay up on it for now.


I've been in therapy on and off for ten years, and it has yet to do anything to help. I just started a thread about my current situation with therapy if you want to check that out.

Deferred student loans continue to incur interest.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,456
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

29 Nov 2018, 2:05 pm

Do you know Arabic, magneto?



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,456
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

29 Nov 2018, 2:10 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Fnord wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
... Many jobs in the United States require a Bachelor's Degree. Many of these jobs don't ask "in what?" The possession of the degree is the most important requirement.
These jobs are mostly in management or supervisory roles. For line workers and their "bosses" skill and seniority count more.

Personally, I would rather answer to a manager who has a relevant business or STEM degree than someone who wrote their Master's thesis on something like "The Impact of Shakespearean Syntax on Modern Teaching Practices in Private Schools Along the Aleutian Island Chain".

:roll:


I did very well by my Arts degrees, personally.
The world needs more literacy, research skill and critical thinking. Arts degrees are also useful in Law.

BTW: Do you have a link for that Shakespeare paper? It sounds interesting 8)


Fun fact: women in the Middle East world enroll in STEM fields way more than the West, especially in Iran and Saudi Arabia. o.O



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

29 Nov 2018, 2:26 pm

Even if you don't have the "support" that the people you mentioned supposed had, your situation is not "hopeless."

Nobody's is.

I have student loan debt, too. 65K worth! And I'm not paying it off anytime soon! I've had stuff happen to me---though not to the extent of the stuff that's happened to you.

I don't have nearly the trauma you've incurred, that's true.

But does that matter? Is that relevant to you?

I know your situation is hard----but I still don't feel you are hopeless.

You still have brains----that's relevant.



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

29 Nov 2018, 2:37 pm

@Magnetowasright: Assuming that you are Muslim, a local Imam might be able to connect you with others who offer jobs, financial relief, and so forth. If my assumption is wrong, then I apologize.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,456
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

29 Nov 2018, 4:18 pm

Look into the imam’s beard, you will find plenty of cash!



magnetowasright
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2018
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 195
Location: USA

29 Nov 2018, 5:29 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you know Arabic, magneto?


شوية بس



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 60,939
Location:      

29 Nov 2018, 5:33 pm

magnetowasright wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Do you know Arabic, magneto?
شوية بس
Translation: "Just a little."



magnetowasright
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2018
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 195
Location: USA

29 Nov 2018, 6:36 pm

I'm actually fluent. I went to Libyan school and I can read and write.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

29 Nov 2018, 6:48 pm

Maybe you can be a court translator.

Do you live in a city?



magnetowasright
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2018
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 195
Location: USA

29 Nov 2018, 6:58 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Maybe you can be a court translator.

Do you live in a city?


I've been trying to break into translating for years. But despite Arabic supposedly being in demand, I could never find anybody who wanted to hire me. The problem with jobs like court translators is that I won't get paid for several months until they finally have a case they need an Arabic translator for, at which point I would have to drop whatever prior commitments I've made in order to work one or two afternoons. It's simply not sustainable.



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 72,433
Location: Chez Quis

29 Nov 2018, 7:01 pm

Would you be interested in applying to Law School or a Legal Assistant type of program?
You may be able to get some serious grant money or bursary given your status, and your skills would be in demand.


_________________
I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

29 Nov 2018, 7:02 pm

I would research into whether there's a civil service test for court translator in your city. I believe they pay you a salary, rather than per diem.

I'm a civil servant for New York City.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

29 Nov 2018, 7:04 pm

magnetowasright wrote:
sly279 wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm curious about your statement that mechanics is a horrible field for aspies? All of the men on my father's side of the family including my brother have been engineers including mechanical engineers, and they've all been excellent at auto mechanics. One even designed huge roller coasters throughout the UK. All of these men were autistic to the best of my understanding. My mother's father was also very aspie and he was an aeronautical engineer. Just piping in some food for thought, although I know you aren't a trained engineer.


I meant working as a mechanic which is what people who work on cars are called here not the field of mechanics.
Ones ina. Noisy dirty shop where everyone yells at you and rushes you to move faster faster faster. Do a 10 min job in 5 they say but don’t mess up or damage the car.
The other tends to be office jobs. My cousin is an engineer he works in a office drawing plans and makes good money.

Most aspies and I’m one are sensitive to sound and shops are full of loud air tools and people banging metal on metal. And we most don’t seem to care for being yelled at and everyone’s yelling at each other.
I’m not fast pace perso. I’m a detail person.
It takes me 5 mins to pull a car into a stall and properly position the mounts(otherwise you damage the car frame and total a car, or worse case it falls off the lift which happens far too much) so 1 I don’t want to damage the car as then I get fired, 2. I’m under the car and don’t want it falling in me.
So along with the above there’s tons of anxiety, I once did a job and then it turned out I got given wrong order which the boss got mad at me about even though it wasn’t my fault, and being an aspie I was like well he was due a oil change soon anyways so isn’t that good, wel no cause now he got a free one.
To do a proper oil change and inspection takes 15-20 mins but they want it done in 5 mins. Corners have to be cut, people are super impatient, as my teacher said people today want to pull their car in and have a total overhaul in 30 mins and be back to work. Repairs take time. Quality takes time.
It’s no wonder tired get on lose, bolts don’t get out back on etc.
and that is why it’s a terrible field for autistics
I wish I’d done a degree in some kind of office job. Maybe then I’d be middle class with a wife and kids :cry:


Like many, I rushed into going to college at a young age, before I had any realistic idea of the working world. I had no knowledge of the demands of the work market and a very poor understanding of my own strengths and weaknesses. So basically I was extremely ill-equipped to make decisions about my education. I ended up with a degree that's completely useless and a mountain of student loan debt, and even after 10 years I still cannot secure a decent job. I would love to go back to school to get a better degree now, but FASFA will only pay for an individual once. I would love the training/education to be either a mechanic or mechanical engineer, but it's too late. I'm screwed.


Indeed it’s a big scam the colleges know they can charge whatever they want and the government will pay for it or give loans.

One thing I agreeed with Obama about is the last year or two should be spent having kids try different jobs to see what they are good at or want to do rather then just getting them ready for college.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

29 Nov 2018, 7:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I do understand the trauma of what you went through. Obviously, I feel bad for what you went through.

I don't mean to minimize what you went through.

In reality, though, it is never hopeless. Many people do rise up from having such things happen to them. it's a documented fact.

I'll give you one such person: Elie Wiesel. He was an inmate in a concentration camp. Those were places where various ethnic groups were placed to do manual labor, and were also places where people were gassed to death. He rose from that experience to be one of the greatest writers of our generation.

If I do a little research, I could give you many more examples.

One has to acknowledge what one went through. And others do, too. I have to acknowledge it, and to respect it.

But....nothing is ever "hopeless."


Yet for most those camps were hopeless
For quite a lot of people today it’s hopeless
It’s hopeless for me, all I have to look forward to is the same I’ve done last 3 years. Being alone and unloved working the same job until I die
Though it’ll actually get wors for me before I die. I’ll likely end up homeless eventually and stave to death or freez to death.