29 Nov 2018, 1:29 pm
29 Nov 2018, 1:36 pm
Fnord wrote:
magnetowasright wrote:
I was beaten by my father. I was molested and raped multiple times as a child. As an adult, I was in an abusive relationship with a physically disabled woman who isolated me from any social circle outside of her friends and family and often told me about how other women find me repulsive. She gaslighted.
I had gone back to Libya (where my family lives) to find a job after college because the economy was terrible. I was forced to leave due to visa complications without any money or anywhere to go. And when I was at my lowest point she and her friends ganged up on me and called me a worthless lazy bum. She went around spreading lies, saying that I abused her and cheated on her. And everyone believed her lies while nobody believed me when I told the truth. That was 10 years ago, and since then I have struggled to maintain employment and have even been homeless at least seven different times. I have not had a girlfriend at any time during all these years, have had no support from my family who all still live in Libya, no social circle and very few friends. I owe over 65K in student loan debt with no way to pay it.
My hopelessness is not an "ideology", it is my reality.
Now I feel chastised. I had gone back to Libya (where my family lives) to find a job after college because the economy was terrible. I was forced to leave due to visa complications without any money or anywhere to go. And when I was at my lowest point she and her friends ganged up on me and called me a worthless lazy bum. She went around spreading lies, saying that I abused her and cheated on her. And everyone believed her lies while nobody believed me when I told the truth. That was 10 years ago, and since then I have struggled to maintain employment and have even been homeless at least seven different times. I have not had a girlfriend at any time during all these years, have had no support from my family who all still live in Libya, no social circle and very few friends. I owe over 65K in student loan debt with no way to pay it.
My hopelessness is not an "ideology", it is my reality.
Except for the sexual assault, the part about your ex-wife being disabled (mine was taking anti-psychotic medications, however), and the events of your last 10 years, your history and mine run parallel.
I'm sorry that I added to your grief.
السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to chastise anybody. I just feel frustrated an I get tired of having to explain my whole life over and over.
She wasn't my ex-wife. We never were married. Thank goodness for small favors I suppose.
kraftiekortie wrote:
I feel like you are a strong person.
Are you in therapy at this moment, Magneto?
It's not going to be easy. But your situation is not hopeless.
If you have student loan debt, and don't have a job, you can "defer" the debt. This means you don't have to pay up on it for now.
Are you in therapy at this moment, Magneto?
It's not going to be easy. But your situation is not hopeless.
If you have student loan debt, and don't have a job, you can "defer" the debt. This means you don't have to pay up on it for now.
I've been in therapy on and off for ten years, and it has yet to do anything to help. I just started a thread about my current situation with therapy if you want to check that out.
Deferred student loans continue to incur interest.
The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Nov 2018, 2:05 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,459
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
29 Nov 2018, 2:10 pm
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Fnord wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
... Many jobs in the United States require a Bachelor's Degree. Many of these jobs don't ask "in what?" The possession of the degree is the most important requirement.
These jobs are mostly in management or supervisory roles. For line workers and their "bosses" skill and seniority count more.Personally, I would rather answer to a manager who has a relevant business or STEM degree than someone who wrote their Master's thesis on something like "The Impact of Shakespearean Syntax on Modern Teaching Practices in Private Schools Along the Aleutian Island Chain".
I did very well by my Arts degrees, personally.
The world needs more literacy, research skill and critical thinking. Arts degrees are also useful in Law.
BTW: Do you have a link for that Shakespeare paper? It sounds interesting
Fun fact: women in the Middle East world enroll in STEM fields way more than the West, especially in Iran and Saudi Arabia. o.O
29 Nov 2018, 2:26 pm
29 Nov 2018, 2:37 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,459
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
29 Nov 2018, 4:18 pm
29 Nov 2018, 5:29 pm
29 Nov 2018, 5:33 pm
29 Nov 2018, 6:36 pm
29 Nov 2018, 6:48 pm
29 Nov 2018, 6:58 pm
29 Nov 2018, 7:01 pm
29 Nov 2018, 7:02 pm
29 Nov 2018, 7:04 pm
magnetowasright wrote:
sly279 wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'm curious about your statement that mechanics is a horrible field for aspies? All of the men on my father's side of the family including my brother have been engineers including mechanical engineers, and they've all been excellent at auto mechanics. One even designed huge roller coasters throughout the UK. All of these men were autistic to the best of my understanding. My mother's father was also very aspie and he was an aeronautical engineer. Just piping in some food for thought, although I know you aren't a trained engineer.
I meant working as a mechanic which is what people who work on cars are called here not the field of mechanics.
Ones ina. Noisy dirty shop where everyone yells at you and rushes you to move faster faster faster. Do a 10 min job in 5 they say but don’t mess up or damage the car.
The other tends to be office jobs. My cousin is an engineer he works in a office drawing plans and makes good money.
Most aspies and I’m one are sensitive to sound and shops are full of loud air tools and people banging metal on metal. And we most don’t seem to care for being yelled at and everyone’s yelling at each other.
I’m not fast pace perso. I’m a detail person.
It takes me 5 mins to pull a car into a stall and properly position the mounts(otherwise you damage the car frame and total a car, or worse case it falls off the lift which happens far too much) so 1 I don’t want to damage the car as then I get fired, 2. I’m under the car and don’t want it falling in me.
So along with the above there’s tons of anxiety, I once did a job and then it turned out I got given wrong order which the boss got mad at me about even though it wasn’t my fault, and being an aspie I was like well he was due a oil change soon anyways so isn’t that good, wel no cause now he got a free one.
To do a proper oil change and inspection takes 15-20 mins but they want it done in 5 mins. Corners have to be cut, people are super impatient, as my teacher said people today want to pull their car in and have a total overhaul in 30 mins and be back to work. Repairs take time. Quality takes time.
It’s no wonder tired get on lose, bolts don’t get out back on etc.
and that is why it’s a terrible field for autistics
I wish I’d done a degree in some kind of office job. Maybe then I’d be middle class with a wife and kids
Like many, I rushed into going to college at a young age, before I had any realistic idea of the working world. I had no knowledge of the demands of the work market and a very poor understanding of my own strengths and weaknesses. So basically I was extremely ill-equipped to make decisions about my education. I ended up with a degree that's completely useless and a mountain of student loan debt, and even after 10 years I still cannot secure a decent job. I would love to go back to school to get a better degree now, but FASFA will only pay for an individual once. I would love the training/education to be either a mechanic or mechanical engineer, but it's too late. I'm screwed.
Indeed it’s a big scam the colleges know they can charge whatever they want and the government will pay for it or give loans.
One thing I agreeed with Obama about is the last year or two should be spent having kids try different jobs to see what they are good at or want to do rather then just getting them ready for college.
29 Nov 2018, 7:09 pm
