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Enough of the 'Damn women rejected me' threads please

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Sallamandrina
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16 Oct 2010, 7:53 pm

double post


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Last edited by Sallamandrina on 16 Oct 2010, 8:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sallamandrina
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16 Oct 2010, 8:02 pm

mechanicalgirl39 wrote:
I don't expect a guy to be a breadwinner.

Please tell me that's not just my AS traits preventing me from taking in the usual social values by osmosis? Please?


It's not. Most women I know don't have such expectations. I've recently been very annoyed with a post claiming 90% or women look for a men to leach off, but I won't start ranting again and just say that fortunately this doesn't reflect my experience.


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LittleTigger
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16 Oct 2010, 8:06 pm

If I had not quit on dating, and th elinke,
I would have no problem to stay home
to raise the kids whilst she worked.

No, I don't follow gender roles very
well either.


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hyperlexian
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16 Oct 2010, 10:10 pm

LittleTigger wrote:
If I had not quit on dating, and th elinke,
I would have no problem to stay home
to raise the kids whilst she worked.

No, I don't follow gender roles very
well either.

that's very sweet. my husband did that also, off and on.


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menintights
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17 Oct 2010, 12:42 am

BPalmer wrote:
sunshower wrote:
Women are hardwired to be more attracted to personality than appearance.

But that's all been destroyed. Nowadays they've been brainwashed into valuing looks just as much as we traditionally have (so-called gender equality and all that), whilst demanding to keep the right to judge us by our ability to be the breadwinner (do they think we can just walk into a job paying a living wage?).


Yes, how dare they demand anything from me when all I've done is objectify them and not treat them as a person.



BPalmer
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17 Oct 2010, 1:27 am

And males aren't objectified? You've gotta be joking. I'd rather neither sex (or rather, members of either sex) objectified each other, but that seems too idealistic! It would've been good to see both genders freed from overly rigid roles that don't take individual abilities and weakness (plus factors beyond one's control, such as economic conditions), but that hasn't happened.



hyperlexian
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17 Oct 2010, 12:50 pm

BPalmer wrote:
And males aren't objectified? You've gotta be joking. I'd rather neither sex (or rather, members of either sex) objectified each other, but that seems too idealistic! It would've been good to see both genders freed from overly rigid roles that don't take individual abilities and weakness (plus factors beyond one's control, such as economic conditions), but that hasn't happened.

but it has happened, and continues to happen. things are changing, but if you only focus on the negative you will only be able to perceive the negative. the exceptions are there, even with many people on WP, but you choose to reinforce the old ways.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Oct 2010, 12:57 pm

LittleTigger wrote:
If I had not quit on dating, and th elinke,
I would have no problem to stay home
to raise the kids whilst she worked.

No, I don't follow gender roles very
well either.


But you are not married and already given up.

Your atypical ideal values didn't do much for your mating chances.



BPalmer
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17 Oct 2010, 1:01 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
If you only focus on the negative you will only be able to perceive the negative. the exceptions are there, even with many people on WP, but you choose to reinforce the old ways.

It's not a case of choosing the old ways (at least not consciously), but rather about despondency and despair.



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17 Oct 2010, 1:09 pm

BPalmer wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
If you only focus on the negative you will only be able to perceive the negative. the exceptions are there, even with many people on WP, but you choose to reinforce the old ways.

It's not a case of choosing the old ways (at least not consciously), but rather about despondency and despair.

there's therapy for that.

but seriously you are prejudging people based on unfair criteria.


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BPalmer
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17 Oct 2010, 1:13 pm

I guess. Shame that my "default setting" is to see the dark side of things, and it takes conscious effort to see any good, instead of the other way round. Perverse, I know. [Edited to add:] It's probably because people have overall been negative towards me all my life. Almost everything I've done or said has been met with either hostility or indifference.



Last edited by BPalmer on 17 Oct 2010, 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Moog
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17 Oct 2010, 1:15 pm

BPalmer wrote:
It's not a case of choosing the old ways (at least not consciously), but rather about despondency and despair.


Your statement almost holds the solution within itself. Bring your unconscious choices into consciousness, then you will perhaps see how you can take responsibility for and power over them.


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Moog
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17 Oct 2010, 1:16 pm

BPalmer wrote:
I guess. Shame that my "default setting" is to see the dark side of things, and it takes conscious effort to see any good, instead of the other way round. Perverse, I know.


Not perverse. Well maybe, but pretty common among humans. You do have to expend some energy to change that bias, but it's worth it. What price happiness?


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LittleTigger
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17 Oct 2010, 1:27 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
LittleTigger wrote:
If I had not quit on dating, and th elinke,
I would have no problem to stay home
to raise the kids whilst she worked.

No, I don't follow gender roles very
well either.


But you are not married and already given up.

Your atypical ideal values didn't do much for your mating chances.


Correct so it does not matter now.


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hyperlexian
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17 Oct 2010, 1:33 pm

Moog wrote:
BPalmer wrote:
I guess. Shame that my "default setting" is to see the dark side of things, and it takes conscious effort to see any good, instead of the other way round. Perverse, I know.


Not perverse. Well maybe, but pretty common among humans. You do have to expend some energy to change that bias, but it's worth it. What price happiness?

i apologize for my juvenile reply, but i completely :heart: your answer.

i think it is necessary to reach outside of our default assumptions and easy bitterness in order to be open to love and acceptance. for instance, if a woman assumes that every man will judge her by the size of her boobs, then she will close herself off to all of the men who are different. she isolates herself from potential happiness. how can any man convince her otherwise if she already decided what any man will think about her?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Oct 2010, 1:38 pm

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