How important is money really?

Post Reply New Topic

This post has mentioned most of my thoughts before me. Nice

I believe this is similar to the argument as to what the civil war was about. Some say slavery, some say states' rights. In actuality they were coupled subjects. Most southerners did not own slaves and were not fighting to uphold the institution of slavery, but were fighting against what they saw as a threat to their freedoms and way of life. But of course, this whole thing was started by the notion that Abraham Lincoln would eventually abolish slavery.

Money tends to couple with certain personality traits. Or rather, lack of money tends to couple with certain personality traits. It really isn't so much that a person is poor, but why they are poor.

Is he young and poor because he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life yet? This is usually acceptable, especially to girls in his age range.

Is he poor because you are an aspiring actor or artist and just haven't made it big yet? Many women wouldn't have a problem with this, because he is pursuing a passion in life. He is ambitious enough to attempt to get what he wants, and many women find that more attractive than his lack of wealth.

Is he poor because he's an underachiever who lacks ambition and creativity in life? Does he just watch TV or play video games in his spare time or engage in some other non-productive hobby....or at least a hobby he doesn't have the aptitude to make productive? Most women are going to find this unattractive.

Is he rich for some reason but meets the third personality profile? Some women will still date him but her motivations would be questionable I think.

Does she want a traditional family where she stays at home and raises the kid and he works? Then money is going to be more of an issue simply because it takes a reliable income to sustain a family.

If a woman met a man who was dirt poor and had no ambition but she well in love with him for some reason would she date him? Probably.

Money gives you higher status to be sure,but it alone won't get you a true relationship me thinks.Not unless you want a gold digger that likes you for your pocketbook and not real affection.
a lot of guys say that if they had a whole lotta money they could buy a girl everything she wants,or buy expensive cars and other nice toys to impress her.
But I don't think that is a very good tactic.I actually agree with the PUA guys in that it makes you seem pretty needy and clingy when you do things like that.You're trying to buy other peoples love and approval basically.

Instead I think money could better be spent improving things about yourself.If you got more free time after you find financial freedom maybe you could afford to buy that gym membership you've been wanting to get in better shape.Maybe you could change your style of clothes etc,take yoga or other courses to improve your confidence and decrease social anxiety.Those kind of things are better investments when it comes to attracting women in my opinion.Having money alone won't mean much at all if you still have low self esteem and walk around pessimistic all the time.

I agree with you 100%

I've made a fairly significant investment in myself: hired a personal trainer, amassed a decent wardrobe, found a Black-Belt gay hairstylist, etc - but I still find myself trying to "buy" or impress people to make up for my low self-esteem. I've come to the conclusion that thoughtful gifts and venues for dates are FAR more desirable than expensive ones.

Now, if I could only get an actual date...

Lol I'm with you there Grisha,I've come to the same conclusions.
And in some ways it's a relief,and others a burden.

Glad to know I don't have to drive a sports car,buy expensive jewelry,or look like brad Pitt to get a date.
And it's a burden because I'm still trying to strike the ideal medium between 'jerk' and 'nice guy',having lived the first 26 yrs of my life completely as the latter.
Wanna be the kind decent fellow I am,but at the same time know when to be assertive and put my foot down.I often have trouble discerning where that line should go exactly.I feel I've gained more confidence through affirmations,hypnosis etc,but there's still always that lingering bit of social anxiety in the back of my head I can't seem to shake no matter how much I try to socialize.