I'm tired of this s**t!

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I wasn't lying. Your looks have nothing to do with you not being able to get a date. It's obviously personality and attitude.

Frances

Most people who say you look good are lying? okay then, you just see what you want to see i guess...
Stop telling US that you look UGLY because we have our own OPINION. If someone looks good its not a FACT he looks good...

You`re just always telling us we`re wrong when we say something positive but if we are negative we`re right, even on opinions, this is BS! You ask us our opinion and then you procceed to tell us they`re wrong, that is now how it works.

Also you remind me a lot of an emo kid i met a while ago, he was so convinced he had a sh***y life and he told EVERYONE (Emo`s don`t like "normal" attention, they hunger for pity)

Also my honest opinion has changed, i do think you`re ugly. Not necessarily on the outside...

Last edited by Basagu on 21 Nov 2011, 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Right, it has nothing to do with me being poor, ugly, slow, stupid, uneducated, uninteresting, and irritating right?

It has nothing to do with me acting weird and being interests in weird things. I guess me not having any charisma doesn't have anything to do with it either, it's just my attitude.

Bottom line, looks MATTER, whether females want to admit it or not.

I come from Brixton, in a predominantly "black" neighborhood at the time. Being different was always a problem for me, I was called ugly, stupid, ret*d, all sorts of stuff for quite a few years. Sure I had friends, but very few at the time. I had to have speech therapy until I was 10 because my verbal reasoning and speech was uncoordinated and poor. That was why I learned how to rap, as I wanted to get better at speaking normally.

It was also the only way I gained any friends, because I had cultivated a talent. I still harbored the problems of yesteryear all through school and college and still suffered from poor confidence, never dating, never really being invited to places. Even now, I have yet to completely purge this stuff out of my system, but I want to show you that if you make the effort into doing something, anything, then it will make life a little bit more bearable. I am somewhat lucky to have been blessed with some kind of willpower, which has served me reasonably well on the rare occasions I have had to rely on it. Having analyzed my life and how things could have gone, I am now becoming more relaxed with where things are going and how to proceed. I understand this may be difficult for you as it has been for me too, and will no longer try to forcefeed you advice. I still feel you should consider what we are saying, but it is your prerogative.

I want to send you some literature I've been reading, if you like, as well as some audio books.

Yes, looks do matter. I'm one of those women who admits it. I could never date a guy I'm not attracted to. But it doesn't mean he has to be conventionally attractive or that others need to find him attractive.

You are not ugly on the outside. You are unkempt, perhaps, so you should take more care about your personal hygiene. I know it's annoying to keep hearing this, but this is how I feel. I don't think you're ugly.

Now, let's see about the other things. You are poor and I guess you can't change that (I'm poor so I know it sucks). But you don't seem like a slow person at all. Maybe it's because you're good in written communication, but you're able to formulate your thoughts well and express your opinion. I guess you might be lacking in the verbal and real life communication, but please don't feel like there's something "wrong" about you because of it. Many people have the same problem. Don't hate yourself because of it even if some jerks you know in real life wanted you to feel like this.

I know that but it doesn't make me feel any better about my situation. How am i supposed to get over this stuff huh? How can I get over not having real friends. How I can just forget about not ever being on a date and no girl/women ever being interested in me. How I can I get over not being able to ever visit different states and continents, and missing out on things like snowboarding, road trips, etc.

I can't get over not being respected by people, and being able to enjoy life.

I just wish the depression, loneliness, and feelings of despair would just go away.

Well, maybe it can make you see it's not like this because you're some kind of a unlovable, worthless person you sometimes present yourself as. (I mean, you talk about yourself that way).

I'm not saying you should "get over" not having real friends or a girlfriend in a way that you should just accept it as your fate. You don't have control over some aspects of your life, so you should try to take control over the things that depend on you. Take small steps. I know things won't be better overnight, and probably they won't be better in a month. But you should never dig yourself deeper and you should never accept the image certain jerks you've met have of you.

Maybe the first thing is to stop obsessing over thing things you can't change. I don't have a passport, for example, and I don't have money to travel, and I live in a part of the world that's in deep, deep economical and political s..t. I do envy people who don't have to worry about any of this but I try not to focus my energy on it.

Honestly, I do think there's a lot of will to live in you, no matter what you say. Why don't you start interacting with people online, for example (be it here or on another website)? It's not much, but it's a start. I know it's not "real life" but maybe having someone to talk to on a daily basis would make you feel at least a bit better.

Well to Aspies, that is hard to do, even more so if you are not taking meds, usually when you take medication, that would supply a more Nuro Typical side of the personality.

Being uninteresting or irritating is subjective so you can't really say that you're universally uninteresting or irritating, someone may find you interesting and by some of your posts, they are thought provoking and interesting in themselves so you're certainly not a boring character and that's just my perspective, people may hold other perspectives, it doesn't make it exclusively true or fact.

As for being ugly, again that's subjective, quite a few women on this board have stated that you are a good looking guy, you certainly have good facial features. If someone called you ugly, it doesn't necessarily make it true as beauty is subjective and as I believe, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Again charisma isn't necessary, not every girl likes a cheeky chap or someone who is witty, some women prefer guys that are thought provoking and challenging, sometimes being naive, unassuming and honest can appeal to the right girl.

Again being different can be a good thing if you believe in yourself, I've been called different by every girl that has been close to me and some have seen it as positive, not being a typical guy and having a different outlook can be an advantage if you allow it to be. You are who you are, the longer you compare yourselves to others or attempt to be someone else, you'll fall short.

You lack acceptance, you lack the ability to accept comments graciously because you've programmed your mind to believe the negative regardless of the positive, you lack the ability to show gratitude because you simply don't believe in yourself. The moment you accept yourself for who you are is the moment you will grow as a person and start to truly feel comfortable in your own skin.

Well said!

Cheers!

I personally do not find your pictures to portray you as attractive. However that is probably because you look miserable.

I think that in person you could be average. But you are not "hideously ugly," as you put it. And that is irrelevant anyway as beauty is subjective. The more you know a person and care for them, the more attractive they are. And different people like different faces.

Now on to the other complaints you lay out. You say that you do not shower or change clothes regularly. And you say that you can not change those things. That is absurd. Personally I do not like to be around anyone with poor hygene. And the majority of people in the world agree with me. You can change that by developing a routine. People with aspergers do far better with routines than without. I am one of them. If I have nothing to do and no reason to leave my house I wont shower for a week. But all you need to do is set a time to wash clothes and shower. And then follow it, it could be hard for the first week but after it is set it becomes much easier.

As for the rest of your complaints. I do not feel sorry for you. I can empathize with you in certain ways but not all. You clearly are not a total moron considering you do not write like this. "i no poeple wont be honets on hear." You take time to use punctuation and try to spell correctly. So even if it takes some time I bet you would not be the worst person to have a conversation with. I see that you like anime, well so do a million lonely average to below average looking girls. Go to an anime forum or RPG. There are plenty free ones online. Maybe even try Second Life. In there looks do not matter at all since you can create a perfect looking person.

But none of what I said matters if you think like that. I mean if you are really dumb and ugly and have no social understanding or money. Then I mean why would anyone want to be with that person? A person with the outlook such as yours will never amount to anything and never will be happy. Your outlook is your problem. I suggest looking into some kind of therapy (which you can get for free if you look) or seeing a doctor about anti depression medication if you can.

i think it's gonna take a bunch of face-to-face reality checks for you to get a better understanding on life.

These forums, while they are good to vent (i do not encourage it) about life, are not going to hold you with big arms and embrace your pain. It's about time you stodd up to a challenge and solve this problem.

If you're extremely frustrated on not getting a woman, im pretty sure there are a bunch of evil and demented places that will put you through torture.

If you talk to people you know in-person (don't use facebook, when i use it, i drop pipebombs and talk a lot of trash), instead of talking to those people over the internet, you are bound to look at dating from another perspective.

Let's eliminate categorizing people into NTs and Aspies (this is something I find a key factor in the blame game). You are a human being. Life will suck. It happens. You need to keep yourself busy, i don't care if you have to get 6 jobs or walk around the block and look at that big giant ball in the sky you used to know as the sun.

Let me tell you a little bit of what I have been through, if you're still willing to keep scrolling down and read this.

I've only been in one 2 year relationship, and it ended because my ex wanted to see someone else. Was I upset? You're damn right. I was quick to point the finger at everyone and tell the world that it wasn't my fault. I was wrong, I did screw up. I took part of the blame.

Until you stop going off of your own assumptions and start using that small tank of common sense you have left in that brain (here i go venting, PIPEBOMB), and start fessing up to errors in your ways, you will never find a woman. You will never find happiness. You will never be something, and people will never remember you for anything great other than the fact that you stopped bitching about how bad your life was. You'll be the next meme on this internet and people will only think negative of you.

You still looking at this post? Good.

Get off of this hook of being desperate and wanting what you cannot grab. Suck it up, shove a stick up your rear end to what used to be your spine, and stand up straight.

I don't give a damn if I find another date. My main focus is on making sure that I can support myself first, before I can support a woman.

Even if the OP cannot find a girlfriend, it's not like it is the end of the world.

There are other things that can give you pleasure and meaning in life besides women and having sex all the time.

Sometimes I just wish I could meet all of you guys, become friends and help you get along. Everytime I read a post like yours I feel the same urge.