Why don't more women make the first move?

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Women don't have ask a guy out.....that shouldn't be the issue. Guys can still ask a girl who they like.

Just women should approach more guys and initiate conversation if they really want to be "equal".

If a girl approached me and I was interested in her, I would ask her out. She doesn't have to do everything. It just helps bridge the gap a bit if girls don't sit back and make guys do all the work all the time.

I seem to go for guys who aren't intersted. I even went for one guy who at first claimed he may be bisexual but finally said he was gay after I stupidly confident by getting liquered up to ask him out. The other guy had a gf which is strange because he told me his "gf" was just a friend....


Since then people in general confuse me. I'm not pretty or maybe I'm not that desperate even though I fantasizes about it, but I feel like maybe I shouldn't bother at 30! Now it seems if I'm not good enough or have to try and compete why should I bother with a guy who isn't into me in the first place? I would rather be alone than with someone who expects me to be something I'm not or is just not into me.

/Thread


It's crystal clear, I don't get why this thread is being discussed any further.

So would you be more comffie with a nasty boo woman at her knees? Not like a hot one by oh someone you'd prefer?

a boo woman??? It has been a long time last time since I'v seen someone of my species :love:

ya.. its so awesome to have someone approach you saying 'i like you'. i mean.. how cool would it be if you were attracted and interested in them, too? tha'd be the bestest ever.

as a guy, im basically conditioned to either make a move at all, or see no one. not only that, us guys typically are expected to pay for the first date, or first few dates. clearly you can negotiate, but in doing so you basically label yourself as a cheapskate, so good luck winning that girl over XD.

iuno. its kinda BS that we put these stereotypical roles on people.

especially considering, if girls would initiate more, there would be more love in the world.

so, if you are a girl, and you like a guy, think about the best course of action, then TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM! is there a bigger compliment than someone telling you they like you, and are interested in getting to know you better? i certainly dont think there is, other than maybe getting married, or saying 'i love you'.

also, what % of guys are oblivious to your nonverbal ques saying 'HEY I LIKE YOU, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT'?

like 90% oblivious rate. that should also factor in.

Alright but I guess it's the reject part that really hurts not to mention being uncomfortable around like a friend after you've been rejected him. But yeah I see what you're saying.

Women generally don't make the first move because they have been stigmatized for doing such things for the past few thousand years, and that stigma and perceptions on how women should act have only begun to dissipate in the past few decades.

Other issues with women making the first move are as follows:

Of those men who accept her advances, many do so for the wrong reasons. They envision casual sexual relations occurring...sometime that day, and in some instances, this assumption can put her in danger. This is one reason why women are usually taught not to greet random strange men on the streets.

Another issue is, of the men who accept her advances who do not harbor such ill intent, or visions of quick sexual encounters, many were not fond of the women enough such that they are interested in anything more than a fling. If they are particularly smitten with a woman, and serious enough about possibly securing a long term relationship with her, they will take the initiative to initiate that relationship despite the risk of rejection.

Despite that, many women have approached, and been rejected by men. Men generally don't expected to be approached by women, however, and have more of a tendency to respond poorly due to the initial shock. Poor responses range from a flight response, to rudely phrased rejections.

Women, on the other hand, though they might only rarely be approached, tend to handle these situations much better when they are not interested.

yea, but we have to deal with that stuff, too! you girls have it easy in this regard :X

Most guys envision casual sex at first whether they're asking out or being asked out, then when they get attached to the girl they start thinking about in a more serious way.

But when asking her out, they realize it's probably not going to happen. When a woman approaches a guy he thinks there's a chance it could. In fact he might think that's her only intention.

Hang on. Many women look for casual sex too and having a one night stand doesn't automatically make it rape, even if you regret it afterwards.

In any case, if you are going to start making advances on strange men, then how is that any less dangerous than accepting the advances of strange men who make a move on you? I mean, if most guys guys go up to a strange women in a bar and say "hey baby", they won't usually get a positive response. When we talk about women making the first move, this is not actually what we're suggesting you do any more than men making the first move is about men picking up strange women in bars. I think you would at least have to know the person on some level first.

That goes both ways, like jono said.

Excuses ..... just admit the upper hand thing .

No where did I imply that having a one night stand was rape.
Some women do look for casual sex, however it is generally much lower on a woman's list wishes and priorities than men.



A man who approaches a woman generally has different expectations than a man who is approached, and so his perception as to her intentions might very well be different. Remember, just 20 years ago many men were of the opinion that if a woman dressed or acted in a certain way, she was "Asking for it" or clearly wanted sex even if she said no and physically resisted. This perception was held to the extent amongst society that there were public service campaigns to address the issue.



I wasn't speaking of picking up people in bars. I was speaking of approaching people in more general situations.

See my reply to Jono.

Just in the same manner as women reject someone they dont like men would be able to reject someone they dont like. But no, that would mean being equal. So it will never happen