If each gender saw itself through the others eyes...

Post Reply New Topic

Lol, you could say you're a dolphin or grizzly bear at that rate. Its just creating a verbal disconnect.

I'd tend to think though that if you were anatomically female but really debated that you were male in all other ways - that in and of itself isn't something you could flip on a dime and call yourself female (in the same sense) without just saying things to say them.

Are you talking to me, techstepgenr8tion? I don't understand your premise in that statement

I overlooked this one:

Gender does matter to many/most people. Most people base some portion or all of their identity on it. I don't understand why but I don't deny that they do. My premise in this thread has always been that isn't that clear cut between male and female and what each means to each person. Society puts people into categories and I don't think it is that simple or that complicated. People are people and should be evaluated on an indvidual basis. Each individual person's physical chemistry/genes/culture etc is different. Each of us have our own experience. I don't feel that I share more of an experience with other females than other males.

As for why people care? Agan, I can't answer that because that's the very part I don't understand.

Yeah, but it was just in response to stating the opposite. Our world would be in deep trouble if words had that much power.

That's exactly my point. NarcissusSavage just keeps saying "they're so different!!" and I'm saying that just saying it doesn't make it true because if it did, I could just state the opposite and make it untrue.

Again: for anyone still following this I'm not saying people are all the same. I'm saying that everyone is different to a certain extent and I don't see gender as any sort of large divisive factor like most people seem to. Not larger than anything else, anyway.

I'm personally more of a what they call genderqueer than anything. I really don't see the need to classify myself. I recognize that I am biologically female but I fail to see how that is relevant to anything other than whether or not I am capable of theoretical child birth.

Ah, got it. I originally thought you were replying to this:

A couple things I wanted to say on this earlier. I think you may have a point that those who are kind of weeded out or alienated by the other gender will be more apt to notice these difference because... well... they're kind of forced to over-analyze them to figure out what's going wrong. On the other hand though I'd have to argue that while there perhaps are some losers out there who are good at the self denial game, the dating pool and process isn't quite as simple as 'if you have yourself together and want someone but can't find anyone either a) you've got problems or b) you're not being honest with how well you think you have it together'. You may agree with all of that for all I know but I just wanted to throw it out there as a clarifier.

I wrote long responses that were far more than that. Disagree with what I have to say, that’s totally fine, but at least recognize I'm not repeating three words over and over again. If you're going to simply ignore what I have to say, fine, but responding while ignoring it simultaneously is a touch insulting.

I'm inclined to think you don't "get" what I was saying, and that is why you dismiss it as empty or void of content, as you didn't understand any of the content... Was my vocabulary too complicated? I can simplify my argument or break down various points that require a prerequisite education level/field if that helps. I tend to wrongly assume people have a college level understanding of biology....or HS level for that matter.

I agree with much of what you've said in this thread, but responding to comments that you perceive as insulting (which was likely unintentional) with outright intentional insults is helpful to no one.

To clarify, I don't think people who can't get dates are "losers." I was just observing that some of the biggest advocates of the notion that the "genders" are completely alien to each other, with little or no common ground, are usually the ones with the most troubled romantic lives.

Of course, people are entitled to their opinions, but I've also noticed that this attitude can lead to a general "dehumanization" process of the opposite sex that isn't helpful or necessary. Thinking of other people as completely and utterly different from ourselves is the first step towards not being able to extend them any empathy. They begin viewing men and/or women as objects to be used rather than people to be cared for.

Just anecdotal personal observations. *shrug*

That said, as CrazyCatLord and NSavage have previously illuminated, I believe there are certain biological/social aspects of being a particular sex that someone of a different sex can never TRULY understand fully. I will never truly understand the male sex drive. Being asexual, I don't understand ANYONE'S sex drive. But I believe there are biological/evolutionary drives that affect female behavior that men will never truly understand either; hence, the number of men I see on here complaining about women being "picky." The nature of human female pregnancy dictates that women really can't afford to be "not picky."

Overall, I think a good first step towards understanding each other is admitting what we don't understand.

You're right. I don't understand what you're saying, that's why I asked for clarification and specifics. I have a hard time grasping large, many-faceted ideas and always need examples and fine details in order to process things. If you would break down your points and explain more clearly, that would help me a lot.

In regards to biology, I understand that there are biolgocal factors that seperate males from females. What I don't understand is why people think those factors make their life-view or thought process so different because they the differences seem to be mostly geared toward reproduction to me. For that reason, you saying that they are so different biologically doesn't compute to me because I don't see how that relates to a persons life-experience, thought process, likes and dislikes, or sense of identity which are really the ways that I have been saying aren't so clear-cut as male vrs female.

Right, and I suppose I agree - reflexively they'd have more reason to have that perspective. Then again I can't rule out the happily married who might say the same thing; I'm sure they're out there but in what proportion I don't really know.


Yeah, I suppose certain people will take the self-aggrandizing road out since its easier than just accepting that equality and difference aren't necessarily in conflict. Its incredibly dissapointing to see when it happens.

The way I perceive my experiences in the world fluctuates depending on my hormone levels, some of which are specific to my gender. I think the differences between genders (of which there are more than two, of course, but let's leave that for another conversation) are vastly less specific and concrete than many conventional modes of thought would lead us to believe.

Here is a very interesting/insightful article I read a while back that documents one person's thoughts on experiencing two different genders:

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-cont ... with-this/