Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;).

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Boxman108
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30 Mar 2012, 12:52 am

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Straight to the point, i prefer it that way.

But again, it's not about the initial messages.

i always sent the final message and did not leave anyone hanging. the disadvantage to that was that my response rate showed as green ("always replies"), which apparently makes people think someone is desperate. i remember reading somewhere that it is better not to reply all the time so that you look choosier.

i thought courtesy was important (sort of - if i was truly courteous i wouldn't block anyone).

That's odd. I'd rather avoid people who only respond rarely because often they come across as stuck up and really not friendly in general.

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30 Mar 2012, 2:40 am

hyperlexian wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Straight to the point, i prefer it that way.

But again, it's not about the initial messages.

i always sent the final message and did not leave anyone hanging. the disadvantage to that was that my response rate showed as green ("always replies"), which apparently makes people think someone is desperate. i remember reading somewhere that it is better not to reply all the time so that you look choosier.

i thought courtesy was important (sort of - if i was truly courteous i wouldn't block anyone).

Seems strange to have that option showing. They is no reason to show it really. Since it has a negative word attached to it.

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ValentineWiggin
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30 Mar 2012, 3:07 am

So demanding a response in the initial messages = rude
Demanding a response in subsequent ones = a-okay.

Got it. :lol:

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30 Mar 2012, 3:11 am

But there's one big question:

How can one tell if someone is ignoring them deliberately, or just busy and haven't had the time to reply? It isn't like we can get inside their minds and know for sure what they're thinking.

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ValentineWiggin
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30 Mar 2012, 3:16 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

Why does it matter what the reason is?
Either they don't wanna talk or can't.

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30 Mar 2012, 3:17 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

Why does it matter what the reason is?
Either they don't wanna talk or can't.

That's what I meant. But is there a surefire way to know which of those is the case?

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TechnoDog
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30 Mar 2012, 3:29 am

Tim_Tex wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

Tim_Tex wrote:

Why does it matter what the reason is?
Either they don't wanna talk or can't.

That's what I meant. But is there a surefire way to know which of those is the case?

Either way, you just take it as they are ignoring you. That way you don't need to think about it. Then if you do get a reply... Saves you wondering.

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30 Mar 2012, 5:40 am

I've occasionally sent women messages online similar to what you did, The Face of Boo. Not on any dating site (I won't use them) but on other forms of online communication. Seems like you were lucky to get the type of replies you did. Most women are not as polite as that in their replies to the types of messages we sent.

I've sent such messages when frustrated at being ignored for no apparent reason. Most of the time I know it's pointless to get upset about it, and will leave them be. Live and let live. It's their prerogative to reject us, unfortunately, as much as I hate it. Just as I exercise my own right to ignore or block most people who send me messages online, as they're almost always messaging me to ask stupid questions or to make homosexual advances, when I categorically don't share their sexuality.

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30 Mar 2012, 8:35 am

Daemonic-Jackal wrote:

Stop being moronic.

Stop being rude.

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30 Mar 2012, 8:45 am

What I dislike about this whole thread is that the guys make it out that the women have the advantage and are rude to guys "because they can", which is such BS.

And Faceofboo, if you spoke to any women IRL like you do on here, I'm sure you'll be avoided like the clappers. Either that, or you'll attract a doormat. Your rejection of me wasn't so polite now was it?

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30 Mar 2012, 8:57 am

Surprised this thread hasn't been locked yet. Lots of mudslinging going on around here.

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30 Mar 2012, 10:26 am

Erisad wrote:

Surprised this thread hasn't been locked yet. Lots of mudslinging going on around here.

Seems like more hot and bothered :roll:

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30 Mar 2012, 12:37 pm

curlyfry wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Surprised this thread hasn't been locked yet. Lots of mudslinging going on around here.

Seems like more hot and bothered :roll:

Lol, right. This thread is totes filled with sexual tension. :lol:

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30 Mar 2012, 12:45 pm

Erisad wrote:

curlyfry wrote:

Erisad wrote:

Surprised this thread hasn't been locked yet. Lots of mudslinging going on around here.

Seems like more hot and bothered :roll:

Lol, right. This thread is totes filled with sexual tension. :lol:

It's a mad mad thread indeed.

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30 Mar 2012, 12:50 pm

the thread itself is quite inflammatory, yes. but it looks like people responded to the posts that had some rudeness (and one person was warned) and it doesn't have to descend further into flames.

i am seeing a gender divide where there doesn't need to be one at all. i'd encourage people to try to explain their perspectives as calmly as possible without attacking anyone else, and to try to understand that everyone posting in this thread seems to have been frustrated by online dating, except that they may have been burnt by different aspects of it.

this seems like a good opportunity to talk - respectfully - about these issues.

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30 Mar 2012, 12:52 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

It does seem like the guys on WP are often negitive towards women in most threads havent seen that from the girls though.

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