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The Science of One-Night Stands

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bruinsy33
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19 May 2012, 10:31 pm

Kurgan wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


It doesn't require that much social confidence. Keeping the conversation flowing on a first date actually requires more confidence.
It depends on the setting,for me .I can converse quite well in a calm environment but in a bar I am a spooked deer.



BlueMax
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19 May 2012, 10:41 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
It depends on the setting,for me .I can converse quite well in a calm environment but in a bar I am a spooked deer.


I hear ya - too loud, too many conversations, too many things going on.... too many people playing too many head-games.



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19 May 2012, 10:43 pm

bruinsy33 wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Kurgan wrote:
bruinsy33 wrote:
cooldryplace wrote:
Aspie (guys) rarely have one night stands because we have a brain disorder that makes us unable to relate to other humans so girls find us creepy. For some reason I don't think anyone here will be impressed by hearing about your "league" or how good you are in bed.
A one night stand would require a great deal of social confidence ,not something Aspies generally have in abundance.I think it takes people with AS a longer time to feel comfortable around new people and often don't make good first impressions.I generally come off as odd or weird ,initially,it takes a longer time period for others to see my good qualities.


It doesn't require that much social confidence. Keeping the conversation flowing on a first date actually requires more confidence.


I would agree with this. There are higher stakes for a first date then a cold hook-up approach.
I think there is some amount of skill and confidence needed to pull off either. It can take a serious charm offensive to get a stranger into bed.
You are likely right but for me personally the only place I could hope to attempt a one night stand would be at a local bar/club and usually those places are loud and disorderly.I immediately go into sensory overload and become extremely anxious,not good traits to have if you are trying to attract a potential partner.


Maybe one night stands aren't your thing then.
I'm personally not a huge fan just because the sex is usually better for me with longer term partners, also I have to be really drunk to have a good time/stay calm in a loud/crowded place.


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MXH
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20 May 2012, 6:07 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
Maybe because you're playing way out of your league? No wait i forgot, you deserve them.


Even if that were true, my league is still way above fat girls, ugly girls, and girls with hairlips. Hey, if you don't mind being seen with them, more power to you.


Ive not talked about my "league" as I have other issues in the way. But do you really care so much of what people will say about you? If so then im glad youve not found someone, sounds like youd be better off with a dog to walk around with


Why would I want a dog? Then I'm paying for them, cleaning up after them, feeding them, and not getting anything out of it. No conversation, no communication, no intimacy, still being stuck eating all my meals alone, still stuck alone on Saturday nights. Not to mention the constant shedding. No thank you, in regards the dog. Cats are worse, they aren't even happy to see you when you come home.

On the other hand, I'm not surprised you're happy about other peoples misery.


They're happy that someone isn't having misery inflicted upon them by someone who cares overmuch about what other people think of them.


oohhh, thats a bingo!



galvatron
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20 May 2012, 7:47 am

So basically, what the study has found is that women are extremely shallow. Big surprise there!



ToughDiamond
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20 May 2012, 8:28 am

galvatron wrote:
So basically, what the study has found is that women are extremely shallow. Big surprise there!

No it was a study of one-night standers. One-night stands aren't really the deepest relationships you can have, sexually or socially, because of the time constraints. You can't argue from that population's data that the world's women are without a doubt extremely shallow. There are deep women all over this website.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 May 2012, 10:11 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
The costs of mating with less than perfect (whatever the hell that means in evolutionary psychology this week) mates are much higher for women. That explains everything from pre-menstrual emotional hypersensitivity to variation between sex drives in men and women to comparative "universal willingness" in men.



I don't think one-night standers operate in an evolutionary-conscious way.



Oh? They're some magical exception to millions of years of sexual-selection programming that we see evidenced in every other type of human reproductive strategy?

Oookay.


It's not really some exception, mating availability and "best-mate"availability (demand and offer) were probably always been into the equation.

What i meant that female one-night standers don't go for best-looking men because they'd think "oh those men have better genes" - but simply because there are a lot of available male-one-nighters of all looks-categories.

If you are offered a large box of apples then you'll naturally pick the shiniest and the most tasty-looking one to eat it, let it be a box of bad apples and you're gonna pick the least bad apple.

If you are in a desert with a one rotten apple, you're gonna eat it anyways.


"Least bad" is synonymous with "best". In the studies, both men AND women were asked if they would "go home with" a surveyor of the opposite sex, so it wasn't an instance of men being less-picky due to fewer options.


Yes, it is due to fewer options, what the MOST men in this study encountered (being asked BY women to 'go home with') isn't something that happen everyday to them during their lives (it's the rarity of one-night opportunities they get that made them more willing to take them) while it happens much more frequently to most women in one-night settings.

The study doesn't take this into account.


You didn't reply to this, VM.



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20 May 2012, 10:38 am

galvatron wrote:
So basically, what the study has found is that women are extremely shallow. Big surprise there!

You cant make a generalization based on a study thats so limited(you can in theory but theres a extremely high chance of being wrong).
Its like if you go to a WWE match and ask males what they like/their preferences and then assume that every male is like that.
(Ive actually seen this on here: a member did a experiment on a website known for its shallowness and surprisingly got the result that people there were shallow. Said member then tried to post that as an evidence of the fact that "everyone" is shallow without considering that the study´s population wasnt diverse enough to extrapolate anything)