Figuring out a girl I've met recently

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Tip: Ask her over email for her telephone number.

That's it. If she says no. That's fine. You're a friend. If she says yes, you may have a 1% shot at something more.

Had to chime in here because you were are driving me insane, I stopped reading at some point. I have to agree with Tequila here, although I do empathize with having anxiety about certain social situations.

I believe you are embracing a self defeating rationalizations/logic, saying stuff like you are emotionally a 10 year old. Even if its true I wouldn't tell myself that, you may be different than me but that wouldn't help me deal with a problem.

As far as the girl or any other girl, just remember that if she seems interested it's quite likely that she is, especially if you think this girl didn't like you. In this situation she was definitely interested in you, but probably is getting or got turned off by your indecisiveness. Any psychology today article will tell you that girls like decisive and self confident guys.

good luck

I know it's getting old, but here's another update, and I actually think I did something right this time, allthough the result is, again, rather weird:

So, those two girls from college asked me if I wanted to join them and a couple of friends later in the evening yesterday, and I said yes. I told her about it that I wouldn't be there in the evening to chat with her. She said something along the lines of "Have fun" and all that, but she was alot less cheerful and overall seemed a bit miffed. I didn't go out that long (I am feeling a little sick as of late and didn't want to push my luck... if there's anything I can't use right now, it is a cold), so when I came back, I wrote her a mail to tell her I had fun and all, and she replied within 30 seconds of me writing (wich has not happened in a while, so I assume she was checking her mails constantly to see if I got home... a good sign, right?). She said something along the lines of "Well, I haven't been out in a while, and at the moment, I really don't feel like it. I really just like to just be on my couch and spend some time alone." I must have misinterpreted that as "I really would like to be asked out"... and guess what: I did that. Straightforward, no misinterpretation, I said something like: "Tomorrow is saturday, I think you need some company: Go out with me." And she flaked. She said she is invited to some family birthday party to which she really doesn't want to go and all that, and that after all that trouble she is having at the moment, she really just enjoys her time alone, being quiet and writing with me... frankly, I don't give a damn, at least I tried and I don't feel bad at all... reliefed, actually, that I found the courage to do something I have never done before: Ask a pretty girl out. I am curious where it'll lead me. Any suggestions what I could have done better?

Nope you're fine that's pretty much how it goes at least you know she's only going to string you along and likes the attention. The other girls were more interested so just hang out with them and wait for your lady friend you email to invite you out next time.

Thanks. Yeah, no question I won't ask her out again. She could have been honest with me from the beginning, though, that's the only real thing that bugs me, but I guess that is part of the game. I will definitely stay in contact with my other new ladyfriends (even though I am not even remotely attracted to them, but at least that won't come in the way).

Okay, call me crazy, but I think there's something wrong with that woman. Now that I have been going out with those other girls from college, and frankly, just not been responding to her E-mails very often, she seems to really go out of her ways to contact me, and ask me how my day was, and what I was doing at the moment, or if I have already started reading "50 Shades of Grey" (I told her I would, since she said it was good and frankly, I was planning on reading it at some point anyways because I wanted to know what all the commotion about this book was about), or if I was reading it right now, and comments on what I do very cheerfully and all that. I mean, I've asked her out, she declined, and I said "Ok, fine, would have loved to, but I can't do more than ask you. Don't worry, I won't bother you with it again, you've got your reasons, so we're cool." When she went off to that party, she wrote me she was gonna leave any moment, and I read that E-mail about 2 hours later. I told her to enjoynherself and said bye, since I assumed we wouldn't be writing again until tomorrow. Then, she wrote me a message while still being on the party (she asked about if I was reading the book right now), which I again read about half an hour after receiving it, so I wrote her back and told her I might do that now, and she replied IMMEDIATELY with, again, all kind of cheerfulness. Don't get me wrong, thanks to you guys setting me straight, I've brought my feelings about all this in order, and I am not going to change my feelings about her or anything (I may be stupid, but I learn from mistakes), and I am certain that I have myself absolutely under control, but damn, what is it with that woman? Why is she constantly trying to confuse me? I mean, I get very friendly with her and share some intimate thoughts, and I am getting friendzoned, I am moving along and get some distance, doing other stuff and just don't care about her that much anymore, and now she's almost coming over as a little overattached. Am I missing something here? What did I do? I didn't do anything! You guys have been so helpful and right about what was going on, please enlighten me!

She is not worth the trouble. Hang out with the other two girls instead.

Aw, man, I never thought I would be in the situation to tell someone to bugger off. She's a really nice person generally, and I will see her again next term in college. Man, I think I am living through all those man-woman stuff I have been missing out on the past few years in just a couple of weeks. It sure is complicated. I will definitely move on, but I am not seeing how I am giving her that much attention anymore, or is that her problem, that all of a sudden she is not the "centre of my universe" anymore? I am just curious because I have never ever met a person like this.

Oh well, if that's the case, then I say screw it, althought just not answering just isn't my stile (I have been raised in a very old-fashioned way in this regard... no matter who it is, I just feel so impolite not answering to messages, or calls), I think my best bet is to go with what I am doing now, just always taking longer in responding (I am not even doing that on purpose, actually, I have just been busy and didn't feel the need to check if she wrote me or not). Man, women sure are complicated.

It seems like she likes you, and may be jealous/worried about losing you to these other girls haha.

Maybe she just likes talking/communicating with you. I would ask her point blank if she has any romantic interest in you or if she just wants to be friends, because it is confusing you.

Do not shy away. Say it exactly in the way I said it.

Thanks for your advice, but I'd rather not. A week ago, I actually might have done that (that is, if I had wound up the courage), but now it is like... eh, I don't care anymore. I do think that Tequila is right that she just wants attention, I mean, if she'd really had any kind of romantic interest in me, she wouldn't have denied me asking her out, and the fact that she is just making up excuses rather than just telling me that I don't have a chance is actually quite annoying. Fun thing is the last times I answered her mails, she replied almost immediately again, so I guess she must already be sensing that I have lost interest and that she's trying to get my attention again by being "available", but I am not falling for that one, and including all kinds of nice things in her mails (I mean, she recently tells me when she hits the shower, and when I told her I was preparing for doing a Marathon, she was all like: "Wow, tell me when that is and I come cheer at you and hold out a bottle of water for you!"... yeah, sure ^^). I don't even know if I would go there if she actually made a move on me. I think it is one of the merits of AS that I can get emotionally untied as quickly as I get tied to people. Heck, I don't even remember her face even remotely (allthough I am rather faceblind to begin with), and only have a faint memory of her perfume.